


We are stronger together

by mairyleo



Series: Romantic fics [15]
Category: British Actor RPF, Eddie the Eagle (2016), Jane the Virgin (TV), Kingsman (Movies) RPF, Real Person Fiction, Rocketman (2019) RPF, Taron Egerton - Fandom, Welsh Actor RPF
Genre: Accidents, Break Up, Daddy Kink, Destiny, F/M, Falling In Love, Fate, Fate & Destiny, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Giving Birth, Love Confessions, Mommy Issues, Newborn, Newborn Children, Pregnancy, Romance, Soulmates, Strangers to Lovers, True Love, Unplanned Pregnancy, labor, midwife
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:41:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 40
Words: 67,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23317051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mairyleo/pseuds/mairyleo
Summary: Previously named Our babyI'm about to get married to the love of my life.Then I get accidentially artificially inseminated.Taron is the dad. What he doesn't know is that we have met before.Will he find out? Can we ever be together?Eventually we both end up single and move in together.Includes chapters from both POV and detailed birth/postpartum scenes.Loosely based on Jane The Virgin
Relationships: Richard Madden/Original Female Character(s), Taron Egerton/Colin Firth, Taron Egerton/Original Female Character(s), Taron Egerton/Reader, Taron Egerton/Richard Madden, Taron Egerton/Richard Madden/Reader, Taron Egerton/You
Series: Romantic fics [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1601989
Comments: 78
Kudos: 35





	1. Unexpected

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: cursing, breakups, insecurities, detailed birth scenes, unprotected sex  
> Might trigger trauma such as miscarriage or fertility issues

I smiled as I rolled around and saw the love of my life laying next to me.

We had been together for five years now and I couldn’t imagine my life without him anymore. I had moved to London 6 years ago and met him around one year later. He actually had been my colleague at the time and we got along instantly. He made me feel at home, cheered me up, even before we became lovers. Now that we were both friends and lovers I couldn’t imagine life could become any more perfect.

“Good morning honey” he groaned as if he had caught me watching him.

“Hi” I smiled “Hope I didn’t wake you”

He opened his eyes ever so slightly and the butterflies in my stomach fluttered.

“Never” he smiled and ran a hand over my bottom lip.

“Sleep well?” I asked, smirking

“Always” he pulled me closer to him and I sighed.

“I hate that I have to go” I whined

“Why?” he frowned.

“I got an appointment for my yearly check up with Dr. Smith, you know?” I had told him a few days ago but he had probably forgotten.

I didn’t blame him, we had a lot on our minds nowadays. He had proposed to me a few weeks ago and we were in the middle of planning our wedding.

I couldn’t believe this was my life now and I loved every moment of it.

I showered and got dressed before walking back in our bedroom to find Josh still laying in bed.

He looked up when he saw me come in. His eyes were as brown as mine were.

“Take a cab, just to be safe” he said worriedly.

I smiled. It wasn’t even flu season anymore, it was actually May, the sun was shining more and more every day. But he just didn’t want me to get sick and I loved that he cared for me that much.

“Don’t worry about it” I smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

He could sleep in because he was self-employed by now and I was a tiny bit jealous I had to run to my gynaecologist before running to the office so I wouldn’t be late for work.

I took the Tube to Tottenham Court Road before walking the rest of the way. I yawned. It had been pretty late last night. We had been out drinking with friends, having the best time. But I hated Mondays as it was, and now I was hungover and tired. Just great.

I arrived at the doctors and they already let me in one of the examination rooms. I undressed as usual and hoped this would be over with soon. I preferred to go to the dentist, to be honest.

I must have taken a quick nap when I heard the doctor come in.

“Good morning” she sniffled.

Flu season still wasn’t over, eh?

“Hi” I smiled and stopped myself from rubbing my eyes.

I had never seen her before. She was younger than my usual gynaecologist. As if she just finished uni.

“I’m usually with Dr. Smith” I said slowly.

“Oh she’s on maternity leave actually” the gynaecologist said “I’m Dr. Martin”

“Okay” I said

Whatever. I just wanted to get this over with.

“Perfect” Dr. Martin said “Let’s get started then”

I winced when I felt her shove whatever kind of object inside of me. I wasn’t really a big fan of those kinds of examinations. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, this would only be a matter of minutes.

“Great” she said eventually and I opened my eyes again “We will call you in 14 days and you can come in to check the results”

I frowned. That was a new procedure to me, normally they called me if everything was fine or not. But at least it would give me the opportunity to talk to them about Josh’s and my plans to have children.

“Okay good” I glanced at my watch. It was already 8.30 AM and I would have to be in the office by 9 AM.

“I have to run” I quickly got changed and the doctor wished me a great day before I flew out of there and ran to the Tube.

It was quite an awful Monday.

**14 days later**

I had called the doctors office and they reassured me I would have to come in so they could tell me about the results. I was beside myself, I really hoped it was nothing bad. I had already felt sick to my stomach for days.

It was late evening and went by there after work. They let me into one of the examination rooms and I sat down in one of the chairs.

“Milly, hi” I saw Dr. Martin walked in.

My heart was in my throat, I was really worried they found something bad. I felt like I had to throw up any second.

“Hi” I smiled anxiously “Is there a reason I had to come in to learn about the results?”

I felt like my voice was shaking, as was my whole body.

She pressed her lips together before she sat down at the desk opposite me.

That bad, eh?

“What I’m about to tell you next isn’t easy” she said quietly.

_Oh God would I die?_

“You know, we had cancer in the family in the past so –“ I gulped.

“No, no” she held up her hand immediately “It’s not that bad”

_Not that bad?_

I frowned “Then what is it?”

“Well –“ she let out a breath “I accidentally artificially inseminated you”

I felt like all breath and blood drained from my body.

_What?_

“Wait –“ I sighed “What?”

“I’m so sorry” Dr. Martin said but I still wasn’t sure I understood what she meant.

“It wasn’t meant for you. I just swapped files by accident and –“

I just simply gaped at her and waited for her to clear this up. I couldn’t speak as it was anyway.

“We should test if you’re pregnant if you’re willing to test” she continued “All is well if the test comes back negative”

I raised my eyebrows. There was a possibility I was pregnant?

“Let’s do a test then” I deadpanned.

I didn’t understand how I was so calm.

And there I was, in the bathroom at my gynaecologist’s and prayed to God the test would be negative. I mean what the hell was I supposed to tell Josh? This was an insane mix up and I seriously wouldn’t know what to do. My whole body was shaking.

I peed on the stick and waited. How long could 7 minutes really be? It felt like ages.

I looked at the test then and I swear I felt my belly flip. It was positive. Did that mean I would have to have an abortion? Would I even want that? Would that endanger any future pregnancy I would want to have?

I walked back into the examination room and handed my doctor the test. I didn’t really know what to do or to say.

“Oh okay” Dr. Martin said quietly.

“Okay?” I snapped “No this is definitely not okay. I don’t know how you do your job, but you are seriously messing with people’s lives here”

“I’m truly sorry about this. My boyfriend had just broken up with me and not that that’s an excuse for what happened –“

“Well what now? I don’t plan to –“

That was when it really sank in. I was carrying another man’s baby.

Fuck my life.

“Who’s the father?” I asked quietly.

Not that it would change anything, but I felt like I couldn’t form one coherent thought right now.

“He’s here” she said slowly “I asked him to be here just in case the test came back –“

“Positive” I completed the thought for her.

“He knows that it was his sample, I –“ she let out a breath.

“I just asked him to be here in case you two would want to … talk”

Talk? She had to be kidding me.

But why did I feel like I would need to tell him I would want to have an abortion?

“Okay” I quipped.

It all felt like an out of body experience.

“Great, I’ll let him in” and off she walked, the doctor I had trusted without a second thought.

Just my luck.

I heard the door open and close and let out a breath. My mind was full of thoughts, but I was so confused I couldn’t put them in any order. Or still, even just understand what was going on.

I heard the door open again and turned around.

A tall, broad shouldered and beautifully eyed man walked towards me. My breath hitched when I realised I had met him years ago. But he couldn’t remember me, could he?

“Hi” I said, my voice sounding strange, even to myself.

“Hi” he held out his hand “I’m sorry I don’t really know how to do this”

I got up from my chair and shook his hand.

Our hands touched and my nerve endings were on fire. How could he make me feel this way?

“Me neither. I’m Milly” I said slowly.

I almost waited for him to say “I know” but he didn’t.

He frowned ever so lightly as he pulled his hand away. He was more beautiful than I remembered.

We kept staring at each other and only now I had a good look at how his eyes looked. They were light green with a hint of brown.

He let out a breath “Well, I’m Taron”.


	2. Expecting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will she keep the baby? Or not?

I almost told him we already knew each other but I stopped myself.

Instead I gulped “Nice to meet you”

He sat down in the chair next to me and I shivered. I didn’t know how he could make me feel that way without even touching me.

He looked good, even better than I remembered. He was in dark grey jeans and a white tee.

“You too” Taron chuckled before frowning “Sorry” he mumbled as he looked down.

It felt like we were both on edge with the situation. Neither of us spoke for a while until I finally said what I wanted to tell him.

“I’ll have an abortion” I said quietly, not meeting his eyes.

Hell, I barely knew him.

“I understand” he said but his voice sounded weirder than before.

I looked up and met his eyes that stared back at me. Was he… hurt?

“I’m sorry” I said “I’m engaged to be married and I never expected _this_ to happen”

“Of course” Taron said after he cleared his throat “I certainly don’t want to derail your life”

My spine tingled. How could he say that if he didn’t even know me?

“You don’t” I said quickly.

I didn’t want him to take this the wrong way.

“Well it sure as hell would have changed things if you had decided to carry my baby” he said quietly.

His words sounded so final.

My heart jumped and I felt like I couldn’t catch my breath.

His baby?

I hadn’t even thought of that. This tiny human was his flesh and blood, but also mine. Was I ready to give that up? Give him or her up?

I couldn’t meet his eyes as I was consumed by my thoughts.

“Please, I don’t want you to feel bad about this. It was a mistake and I didn’t even think –“ he stopped.

I looked up and watched him “It was meant for my girlfriend since we – you know” he gestured.

I didn’t quite get it. I frowned.

“She couldn’t get pregnant after we had tried for years so that was a possibility we wanted to explore”

I couldn’t believe he told me such personal things.

“I’m sorry” I said quietly.

I hadn’t even thought about which problems I might face trying to get pregnant. Would it still be that easy to have a baby after I had an abortion? Took meds to basically tell my body to get rid of the baby?

I gulped at the thought. But what was the alternative? Carry his baby while being married to another man? That sounded complicated as hell.

“Okay” Taron sighed and got up. “We better carry on with our lives before –“ he stopped.

Before the insemination.

I felt like my whole life changed within minutes.

He held out a card for me “Call me if you change your mind. Or if you need any help or support with the –“ he looked down.

I knew what he wanted to say. _Abortion._

“Thanks” I smiled lightly “It was nice to meet you”

He frowned ever so lightly before shoving his hands into his jeans pocket. I only now realised how snug they were.

“You too” Taron said quietly before turning around to leave “All the best for you”

And there I sat and felt unable to move. How was I ever supposed to make a decision that was so life-changing? And why did I feel like whatever I decided would be the wrong choice?

I got up and glanced at my watch. It was already 7 PM and Josh was probably already wondering where I was.

I walked to the Tube, too caught up in my pregnancy thoughts to recognise what was happening around me. It was all a blur until I arrived back home and unlocked the door.

“There you are” Josh said, sounding relieved “I have been wondering where you were”

I shrugged as I dropped my handback on the dresser. “Sorry”

“Don’t worry, baby” he kissed me on the forehead before pulling me into a hug.

I sighed against him and felt tears welling up in my eyes. How should I ever tell him?

“There is something I have to tell you” I whispered, my voice quivering.

Josh’s eyes widened with worry “What happened? Is it something about the results?”

I guess you could say that.

I nodded and gulped.

“Whatever it is, we can get through it together” he said quietly as he wrapped his hands around my waist.

My whole body felt cold before I spoke “I’m pregnant”

Josh’s hands around my waist tightened and he smiled “We’re pregnant?”

He was so excited and I had to crush his dreams. I was pregnant, but it wasn’t his baby.

“Not quite” I said, not meeting his eyes.

His hands dropped from my waist and he crossed them in front of his body, frowning. Thank God he didn’t yell at me.

“Let me explain” I said quietly “When I was at the gynaecologist for my routine appointment they mixed up my file with another patient’s and they –“ I paused “They accidentally artificially inseminated me”

“What?” Josh called as he ran his hand through his hair. “I have never heard anything like that before”

“I know” I deadpanned, still not meeting his eyes “But it’s the truth”

And I could only hope he would believe me.

“I’m sorry baby” Josh’s voice was calmer now “I can’t believe this happened to you”

I sniffled “I know. I can’t quite believe it either”

He put his hand under my chin and forced me to meet his eyes. “Come here”

He didn’t look happy but pulled me into a hug “I’ll be there for you through this”

I exhaled in relieve until he spoke “Did you get the meds yet?”

He let go of me and I frowned at him.

“Which meds?”

He looked at me as if I was stupid “For the abortion”

My blood drained from my face and I knew right there what I wanted.

“I don’t want an abortion”

Josh blinked a few times and took a step back “What? Why?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. It feels wrong to do it”

“Wrong?” he raised his eyebrows “It feels wrong to keep it if you ask me”

I was disappointed at his reaction. Did that mean he would leave me no choice?

“I don’t know what that will do to my body and I don’t want to risk anything” I said quietly.

“But where does that leave us?” I asked

I needed certainty. Now more than ever.

Josh looked down. “I love you no matter what but –“ he paused “I’m not sure about raising another man’s baby”

Could I blame him really? Yes, I could. Because it hadn’t been my fault I was pregnant. And it was my body and I decided to keep the baby. Wherever those thoughts came from.

I absentmindedly ran a hand over my belly and my heart jumped.

Josh exhaled “What about the biological dad?”

I looked at my fiancé, shook to the bone with my news.

“I met him earlier. They introduced us to – you know”

“To what?” he frowned.

“To get to know each other. Or just to get to talk in case –“ I sighed “I don’t know”

“Who is he?” Josh asked calmly.

I was surprised he was so calm after he basically told me to have an abortion.

“He’s nice” I shrugged “He genuinely seems like –“ I stopped.

He genuinely seemed like he would be a great dad. And that he wanted to be one, badly.

“Nice?” Josh repeated.

I nodded “Yeah. Him and his girlfriend couldn’t get pregnant so they wanted to try this way and –“ I shrugged “Well…”

I ended up pregnant, instead of his girlfriend.

Josh ran a hand through his hair “I – I think I need some time to process this”

I nodded as I watched him head towards our bedroom.

I stood there, in the hallway, and felt like crying.

Would I lose the love of my life over this? Was this baby really worth it?

But deep down I knew the answer to that.

Yes, it would be.

I knew there was one person I needed to call.

I rummaged through my handbag until I found my phone and dialled.

“Hi you” my friend Amanda answered “How are you?”

Her voice was so soft I just started sobbing right there.

I sniffled “I’m pregnant”

“Oh congrats!” she called “I didn’t know you already started trying but this is great –“

I just pressed my lips together and shook my head

“It’s not Josh’s baby” I interrupted her before she could go on further over how great the news were.

The line went dead.

“Amanda?” I called.

“Still there” she said quietly “What happened?”

I told her everything and she sounded as confused as I felt.

“You’re telling me you were accidentally artificially inseminated?”

“Yes” I said as I blew my nose “And that’s not all”

“What else is there?” she asked in disbelief.

It was pretty much to handle, mainly for myself.

“It’s Taron’s baby”


	3. Accident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter mainly contains a flashback to where she knows him from.  
> And why he doesn't remember her.

The line went quiet for a while “Are you sure? It could be Josh’s if you had been with him–“

I shook my head. We had always used a condom and we hadn’t even had sex that many times with the stress about the wedding and everything.

I told her.

“Oh my God Milly” she said “I can’t believe this”

I laughed, for the first time in what felt forever “Tell me about it”

“Taron, eh?” her voice was calm.

But I shivered as memories flooded my brain.

“You know it wasn’t your fault, right?” Amanda said.

I shrugged “Well I don’t really know. It might have been”

“What did he look like today?” she asked “I’m sure he is fine if he wants to procreate”

I shrugged “He seemed fine. But then you can’t always say. He might have permanent damage” I trailed off.

“But that’s highly unlikely” Amanda said

I always believed in the worst-case scenario. Not a trait I was particularly proud of.

“I definitely hope so. It was just so weird to see him again” I shivered at the thought.

We had only shared that moment. Yet it somehow never left my mind. Until I had met Josh.

I sighed “Well he didn’t recognise me”

A part of me wished he would have.

“And how would he?” she said “He was in an accident. He probably barely remembers anything about that moment”

**6 years ago**

I was just walking into Starbucks. Today was pretty relaxing, I would only start my job the next week. I queued and had a look at the boards. I would probably take a Chai Latte and a blueberry muffin.

“One coffee and a bagel for take away, please” the man in front of me ordered and I glanced at the back of his head.

I would never get over British accents and from what I could tell from behind, he was beautiful too.

“What’s your name?” the barista asked.

“Taron” he said as he typed away on his phone.

One of the super busy people in London eh?

It was my turn and I ordered before waiting until my coffee was ready.

I had a better look at Taron and my stomach squeezed. He really was handsome. He didn’t pay any attention to me though, as we both waited for our coffee.

“One bagel for take away” they called and Taron stepped forward and grabbed it

“Thanks” he smiled before heading for the exit.

He was just walking out of the door when they put his coffee on the counter. The cup even read “Taon”.

“Wait” I called as I grabbed his coffee and ran after him.

I didn’t even know what hit me.

Taron had his corded earphones in so he didn’t hear me. I hurried after him on the street, making a total fool of myself, before grabbing his arm.

He frowned before he realised I was holding his coffee. He took his earphones out and smiled.

“Ah thank you, I totally forgot” he smiled

“You’re welcome, Taon” I could feel myself blushing.

I felt like a creep.

“It’s actually Taron” he corrected “Starbucks always gets names wrong”

“Oh sorry. But yeah, you’re right about Starbucks and names” I rolled my eyes, laughing.

“Well thanks?” he nodded lightly and looked at me in question.

“Milly” I said.

“Have a good day, Milly” he winked before walking down the street, putting his earphones back in.

“You too” I said lamely.

Whew, what a man.

I was just about to head into Starbucks to pick up my Chai Latte and muffin when I heard a loud screeching noise and thump.

My blood drained from my face when I realised a car screeched to a halt and there was a man laying on the street.

It was Taron.

I ran over there and found Taron laying on the street, clearly hit by the car as his coffee was halfway spilled over his dark blue tee and jeans. His clothes were partially ripped.

The driver got out of his SUV and ran his hand through his hair.

“Oh fuck” he hissed.

I rolled my eyes at him “You think?”

I had a closer look at Taron and realised he was groaning, barely conscious.

“What the hell” I yelled

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t see him and –“ the driver said.

“Call 999” I yelled as I put my head on Taron’s chest to check his breathing.

He was still breathing, thank God.

With a car like that hitting you, you might as well end up dead.

I did the only thing I could think off. I rolled Taron to his left side to stabilise him while the driver who caused all this called an ambulance.

Taron winced. He seemed to be in a lot of pain and was breathing shallowly.

“Hey, you’ll be fine” I said quietly as I loosened my scarf and used it to wipe the blood from his nose.

“My leg” he groaned before scrunching his eyes closed.

It was awful to witness. From what I could tell his right leg was broken. His jeans were ripped at his calves and the bones were sticking out. Yikes.

I didn’t really know what to do but the driver brought an emergency blanket to drape over his body.

He had wounds on his arms too, probably from the impact.

“It will be all right, the ambulance will be here in a second” I said quietly.

It was as if it was just the two of us.

Taron opened his eyes slowly and I glanced into his beautiful green eyes before they closed again and his body went numb.

I sighed as I regularly checked his breathing.

If I hadn’t stopped him he might not even had been in an accident.

Why did I even care so much? He was a stranger to me.

The ambulance arrived and I had completely forgotten about my coffee. The paramedics checked his condition before putting him on a stretcher and an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth.

Taron groaned and it was as if that sound was ripping my heart into pieces.

I drove to the hospital with them. They would probably inform his emergency contacts soon but I wanted to be there. I blamed myself for the accident.

These few seconds when I stopped him and handed him his coffee might had been the reason for the accident. If he had crossed that road a few seconds earlier, this probably wouldn’t have happened.

We arrived at the hospital.

“Do you think he’ll be fine?” I asked worriedly.

“Yes, sure” the paramedic said “He might need surgery for his leg and we will check for internal bleeding, just in case”

“Okay” I let out a breath and could felt my body shaking.

Internal bleeding? That could be fatal.

“Are you his girlfriend?” he asked.

I shook my head “No I just wanted to make sure he is okay”

I felt even more like a weirdo now.

“Thank you for helping” the paramedic said and gave me a small smile “We got it from here but it’s great to see people still care”

I smiled “Thanks”

I watched them as they wheeled him into the hospital.

A man I would probably never see again.


	4. Relieved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a chapter from two different POV.  
> Hope you enjoy!

**Taron**

I took the Tube home and my mind was clouded with what just happened. I couldn’t believe this. I didn’t know how I should tell Emma. Another woman being pregnant with my child? But then she had also told me she would have an abortion, and I couldn’t blame her. Hell, I didn’t even know her.

But why had she looked so familiar? I normally remembered names and faces, but something felt off.

I arrived home and took the elevator up and unlocked our front door. My girlfriend was in the kitchen, cooking.

“Hey babe” she said cheerily “How was work?”

“Work was good” I said quietly, trying to get rid of that sad mood I was feeling.

“Perfect” she walked over and I pulled her into a hug before giving her a kiss on the lips.

She was supposed to be pregnant, not some random woman that felt familiar. I was mad. And sad.

“The gynaecologist called earlier though. They asked me to come by” the words spilled out of me.

Emma blinked “Really? Why?”

“They said there was something wrong with my sample”

“Oh no babe” she wrapped her hands around my waist “What happened?”

I sat down on the couch and buried my face in my hands.

“Apparently they swapped your file with another patient’s and –“ I let out a breath “another woman got pregnant”

“Oh babe I’m so sorry” Emma whispered as she ran her hand over my back.

I looked up to her and my throat closed up. Why was I even so emotional about all this?

“Nothing I can do about it. I talked to her and she chose to have an abortion”

I hated that word.

“Taron” she said quietly and wrapped her arm around my shoulder

I huffed “I don’t blame her. She said she is engaged”

Not like it would change anything if she wasn’t.

“Well I probably would have made the same choice” Emma said

It didn’t really help me to feel better. That baby was my flesh and blood. And the first possibility of actually having a baby in… ever.

“I know” I sighed “It is what it is”

“We can still try, right?” she said hopefully.

I glanced over to her. It was all my fault. We had hit a dead end for years now.

“Yeah” I said but I didn’t quite believe it would ever happen.

We went to bed that night and my mind was too busy to even think about sleep.

I had had nightmares ever since I had that accident 6 years ago, that was before I had met Emma. I could still only remember fragments of what had happened. When I had woken up in the hospital, they told me I had had a concussion, pelvic fracture and broken my leg. But the broken leg was least of my issues. It had taken a while until I could walk normally again but it was as good as new now.

Not so much with the pelvic fracture. Apparently I had had a bad fall which had caused it.

What nobody told me is that it resulted in sexual difficulties.

It had taken me a while and a lot of therapy sessions to get over it, and all was back to normal. Yet, I still couldn’t get my girlfriend pregnant.

I woke up, gasping, drenched in sweat after having just relived the accident as a dream. I swiped the sweat from my face when images flickered through my mind.

_A woman. A bloody scarf._

I shook my head and looked over to Emma who was asleep. I got out of bed and walked into the kitchen, pouring me a glass of water. My legs were shaky and every now and then I felt my pelvis hurt, which doctors told me was phantom pain.

I checked my phone. I was currently shooting a new movie and was supposed to be up in two hours. It was 4 AM now. Just great.

Then I saw I had gotten a text from a number I didn’t know.

_< <Can we talk sometime? This is Milly>>_

The woman who carried my baby.

I shivered at the thought and that she wanted to talk.

Had she changed her mind?

My whole body was aching for her to change her mind. I didn’t even know why. An abortion would probably be the easiest way for everyone, I was with Emma and she was with her fiancé.

But it felt wrong.

One thing I knew for certain was that I wanted to be a dad. Probably now more than ever. You always wanted the things you couldn’t have.

I texted her back _< <Sure. When? I’m free from tomorrow afternoon>>_

She texted back instantly. Could she not sleep either?

_< <Would 6 PM work for you?>>_

_< <Perfect. Where should we meet?>>_ I typed.

The dots popped up and I waited

 _< <How about Gail’s on Elgin Ave?>>_ her text came through.

I smiled. I loved the place and the food there.

_< <Great. See you then>>_

I couldn’t think of sleep then. Why was I excited? Why did I hope she would choose the baby?

**Milly**

I slept like crap all night, tossed and turned in the bed because Josh had insisted on sleeping on the couch. He had said he needed some time to think. But I didn’t think he realised how much he hurt me by doing that. I understood he needed time to process this, but I needed someone to comfort me, hug me.

Work was busy and luckily it distracted me. I was looking forward to see Taron again, maybe too much so.

I wrapped up work and took the Tube to Maida Vale. I was a few minutes early and decided to walk along Little Venice. It was a sunny day which was rare in London, but I still couldn’t take my mind off what was happening. My whole life was about to change.

Was I ready for that?

I had to be. For myself, and for the baby.

I walked back, past the Tube station and into the café and found Taron already sitting at one of the small tables. He was early.

“Hi” I smiled when his eyes landed on mine.

He felt like sunshine to be around.

Something shifted. He seemed happy to see me too.

“Hello” he returned my smile and I sat down opposite him.

“Thanks for meeting me” this felt weird.

“Of course” Taron said quickly “Can I get you anything? Coffee or something to eat maybe?”

He hadn’t ordered anything yet.

“I think I’ll take a chai latte and a blueberry muffin” I said.

Then I realised that was exactly what I had ordered all these years ago. I shivered at the thought.

“Great, I got it” he got up.

I watched him queue and had to scrunch my eyes closed at the memories. He looked fine now, but that didn’t mean he was. Right?

He came back with two cups and a blueberry muffin for me.

“Thanks” I smiled “Here”

I handed him a five pounds note.

He shook his head “No, it’s on me”

I shook my head too, insisting “No please, take it”

We both stared at each other for a second, but I wouldn’t back down. If there was one thing I didn’t want from him, it was his money.

“All right” he sighed and took it after he realised I was more stubborn than he was.

“Thanks” I was relieved as we both focused on our cups in front of us.

The way he looked at me was intense. Or maybe it was just me because I remembered what had happened.

“So” I spoke eventually “I wanted to talk to you because –“

I exhaled. This was harder than I thought.

Taron looked at me intently, almost hopeful.

“Because –“ I let out a breath “I decided to keep the baby”

Taron closed his eyes for a second and let out a breath.

Was he… relieved?

“That’s good news” he said and I could see the corner of his mouth twitch.

“I’m not sure” I sighed “It sure as hell makes things complicated”

Taron pressed his lips together and nodded “Sure. But we will figure it out”


	5. Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talking to Taron. And to my fiancé.  
> Let me know what you think!

It was as if Taron wanted to put his hand on mine, but stopped himself and grabbed his coffee cup instead.

I looked down “I made an appointment for an ultrasound and I was – I was wondering if you would want to come”

I looked up and it was as if Taron’s eyes punched me right in the gut. How was he so beautiful? His eyes were so different to what I remembered.

“I would love to” Taron said quickly.

I smiled and took a sip of my chai latte, trying to distract myself from whatever I was feeling.

“Okay” I said “I only got an appointment in two weeks anyway”

“Just text me when and where and I’ll be there” he said and I believed him.

I just wasn’t sure what that would mean for my relationship with Josh though.

I let out a breath.

“Can I ask you something?” Taron said eventually.

My heart picked up speed. What was he referring to?

“Sure” I gulped.

He looked at me intently and it was as if he was shaking his head ever so slightly before speaking “How did your fiancé take it?”

I pressed my lips together. I was relieved he didn’t ask about the accident, but at the same time I was overwhelmed with the current situation.

“He didn’t take it well” I said quietly and I was surprised my voice didn’t quiver “What about your girlfriend?”

Taron shrugged “I still have to tell her you will keep the baby”

It was as if he had to stop his smile from spreading across his face.

“Sorry. I hope this isn’t causing you any trouble”

“Hey” he said softly and that was when his hand touched mine.

My eyes shot to his and I shivered, but I didn’t pull my hand away. I just couldn’t.

“It’s not your fault” he continued.

How was his voice so smooth? And how was he affecting me the way he did?

I swear I could feel myself blushing “It’s not yours either”

It wasn’t like we had had an affair or something.

“I don’t know” Taron nibbled at his chin with his fingers and I watched him.

“I’m not a big believer in fate but this has me wondering –“

I knew what he meant. It did feel like fate that we met again under these circumstances all these years later. But then, he didn’t know we met before in the first place.

“What do you work?” I asked, trying to distract myself.

Taron smiled “I’m an actor”

I raised my eyebrows and blinked “You are?”

He nodded

“You’re serious?” I smiled.

“Yeah. I guess you haven’t heard of me before” he chuckled and that sound was music to my ears.

“I haven’t” I confirmed “Are you… famous or something?”

He just shrugged before bringing his coffee cup to his lips.

“I don’t know. I wouldn’t exactly call it famous”

I frowned “Okay”

I told him about my job as an editor for London Evening Standard and Taron seemed pretty excited to hear about it. Time flew by so quickly and I was starting to relax around him more. We eventually left the bakery and headed for the Tube station which was right across the street.

“Thanks again for meeting me” I said as I was starting to feel more flustered with Taron standing right next to me.

“I –“ he paused and frowned “I don’t know what changed your mind but I’m glad you decided to keep the baby”

I smiled. I was sure we would find a way to work this out.

“Get home safely” he said before he pulled me into a hug.

I couldn’t stop him as he wrapped his hands around my back and pulled me to him. I sighed and closed my eyes, enjoying this moment for as long it would last.

“Thanks” I smiled when we pulled away “You too!”

We both got on the Bakerloo line, but while I was heading Northbound, he was heading Southbound.

My mind was full as I sat on the train for just two stops and thought about our conversation. He had been so handsome in his jeans and tee.

The first thing I did when I got home that evening was googling Taron. I gasped when I realised, he was indeed famous. Why was he so humble?

I heard the front door open and close. Josh was probably home. I looked up from my phone and saw a shadow in the hallway.

I gulped. We hadn’t really talked since I had told him I would keep the baby.

“Hi” I called

“Hey” he said calmly when he walked around the corner and towards me.

I got up from the couch and he hugged me but something felt off.

I looked at him but he didn’t meet my eyes “We should talk”

“Sure” I gulped as he sat down

Then he looked at me but the way he looked at me felt cold. I had to supress flinching.

“Did you think about what you want to do?” he glanced at my belly, then at me.

I inhaled deeply “I told you my decision already”

“And you’re sure that’s what you want?” he asked.

Why was he being like this?

I felt like crying yet again.

“Yes” my voice was hoarse “And I hope it doesn’t change anything about us”

He let out a breath. I knew it was bad.

“I’m not sure I can do this any longer”

“Josh” I whispered as I felt tears form in my eyes “You said we would get through anything”

He didn’t meet my eyes “I feel like there is something you’re not telling me”

He looked over to me and I almost jumped.

He was right.

“Well –“ I started.

I told him everything, from meeting Taron at Starbucks and the accident 6 years ago and talking to him today. Josh listened and didn’t interrupt me.

“What do you think?” I asked eventually.

Josh ran a hand through his hair “Milly, that’s a lot to take in”

I knew it was. But I also needed him to understand.

“Why do you feel guilty for what happened?” he asked “It’s not like it was your fault”

I shrugged “I don’t know. It might have changed things if I wouldn’t have stopped him”

Josh took my hand in his and I sighed in relief “You don’t know that for sure”

I looked down.

“Is that why you are keeping the baby?” he asked quietly.

My heart jumped, but I knew it wasn’t the reason. Somewhere deep down inside of me there was more.

“No” I pressed my lips together “I always wanted to have children and –“

“But a child from a stranger?” Josh raised his eyebrows.

I flinched at the word _stranger_.

“I wouldn’t have chosen for this to happen, Josh” I said and I felt like I was already defending my baby “But I have values and it would just be wrong to have an abortion. And it’s not like Taron is a serial killer or something”

I rolled my eyes and then looked at Josh.

“But you barely know him”

“We could change that” I insisted “We can work it out if we’re all in this together”

Josh didn’t respond though.

“You know –“ I said quietly “I’m an emotional mess right now and I really need a shoulder to lean on. So if you want to marry me, I hope you will also be there for me through this”


	6. Ultrasound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this chapter from both POV

**Taron**

_I am walking down the street, the sun is shining brightly. David Bowie is blasting through my earphones as I head for work. I take a sip of coffee in my hand, almost burning my tongue in the process. It is a quiet side street and I cross the road at a crossroads._

_I hear a car honk and my head snaps to the right. I shiver and try to run but it’s too late. I hear screeching of tires and feel something hit me full force. My body is thrown off balance and the last thing going through my mind is my family._

_What I have achieved career-wise isn’t important to me. Right then and there I only care about who I will leave behind. My mom, my stepdad, my sisters, no girlfriend._

_Absentmindedly I hear bones crack as my body hits the concrete. I barely feel pain._

_Then my head hits the road and I think this is it. This is the end of my life._

_I groan as I feel pain unlike anything I have felt before race through my body. My hip, my leg, my head. I am not dead, am I?_

_I don’t even register what is happening around me._

_“Hey, you’ll be fine” I hear the voice of an angel._

_It soothes me that someone is with me._

_I mumble something and scrunch my eyes close, but even that doesn’t help me to block out the pain._

_“It is all right, the ambulance will be here in a second” the woman says._

_I open my eyes ever so slightly to see who she is and see contours of a woman leaning over me._

_Long brown hair._

_A scarf with blood on it._

_I feel like I’m falling asleep and the last thing I see is her._

I woke up, shaking. I buried my face in my hands, sitting up in bed as I tried to shake that dream off me. What was it that I dreamt of the accident so much lately? It was awful to relive, and then in such detail. But then my mind went blank as I thought about that woman.

Who was she? Why had she helped me?

Why did Milly remind me of that woman?

For a second in the café, I almost thought it was her.

But it wasn’t possible. I was just confused about the current situation.

I must have fallen asleep eventually because when I woke up it was already sunny outside. Emma must have already left without me noticing.

I rubbed my eyes and glanced at my watch. It was 9 AM. I normally never slept that long, but it was my day off.

It was the day of the ultrasound. I was excited, and nervous. Milly and I had texted every now and then, but apart from that everyone lived their lives.

Was that how it would be?

I would want to be close to my son or daughter. Have them around all day, even though I knew that wouldn’t be possible… given the circumstances.

I was wondering what her fiancé thought about all this.

I showered and dressed, putting on a white top and leaving the flowery shirt open as I put my jeans on.

I grabbed my favourite orange tinted sunglasses and my cap as I flew out of the door.

**Milly**

Josh had insisted to come with to the ultrasound and I was happy he had gotten over my decision. He had accepted it and told me he would support me. Amanda would meet us there since I had invited her. She knew everything there was to know about me.

Josh and I arrived at the gynaecologist’s, a well rated one, not the one who – you know - inseminated me by accident.

Amanda hugged me tightly when we reached her. I was so happy she was there.

She and Josh got talking while I was focused on something else - Taron wasn’t here yet.

They already lead us into an ultrasound room and my heart sank, thinking Taron wouldn’t be here.

The door opened and he walked in, smiling at me. My belly fluttered as I took him in, wearing light blue jeans, a top and a shirt over it, left open.

I gulped.

But then I saw his smile fade as his eyes landed on Josh.

“You must be Taron” Josh got up and held out his hand.

Taron pressed his lips together while smiling and something told me he had to force that smile.

“Nice to meet you…?” he frowned.

“Josh” my fiancé said.

“Nice to meet you Josh” Taron said calmly as they shook hands.

“Hi, I’m Amanda” she said and I could tell by her voice she was excited.

“Oh nice to meet you” Taron seemed confused who she was “I’m Taron”

I glanced at her and she looked to me, then to Taron “You too”

Amanda shot me an impressed look and I knew what she meant. He was gorgeous.

I was so relieved the men seemed to get on though. It would probably take some time, but we still had some time left too.

The door opened again and a doctor walked in.

“Hello” he said and looked around, clearly confused who everyone was.

Josh, Taron and Amanda moved off to the side so the doctor could reach his ultrasound device, but it was a small room as it was.

“Who are the parents?” the doctor asked.

I shivered at that thought.

“Me” I smiled, because it was pretty obvious I was.

Even if you couldn’t see the belly yet.

“And me” Taron said calmly, but his voice was firm.

The doctor looked at Josh and Amanda “Then I have to ask you to leave, unfortunately. Only two people allowed in here”

My eyes shot to Josh but he kissed my forehead, before leaving, without saying another word.

Amanda turned around one last time and winked at me before closing the door behind them.

“Let’s get started then, shall we?” the doctor said and my heartbeat picked up.

He seemed way more at ease than I felt.

I nodded and glanced over at Taron, who took Josh’s seat.

The doctor applied the gel on my belly before moving the ultrasound device over it.

He gestured towards the screen and moved it a bit so we could see better

“Here is your baby”

Taron took my left hand and intertwined our fingers. I glanced at our hands before my eyes moved up his body, lingering on his chest hair for just a second, until I met his eyes.

“Is this okay?” he whispered.

I nodded and pressed my lips together.

This felt better than it should.

I was so focused on the screen then and I couldn’t believe there was a tiny human growing inside of me.

“Let’s see if we can hear the heartbeat” the doctor said and moved the device.

A heartbeat sound filled the room as tears filled my eyes. I gulped, but couldn’t stop my chin from wobbling.

I felt Taron’s hand squeeze mine and that feeling travelled through all of my body.

I looked over to him and his eyes were focused on the screen, tears in his eyes too.

I wanted to stroke his cheek.

But I just couldn’t.


	7. Liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New revelations in that one!  
> Hope you like where it goes!

Josh had been pissed he wasn’t allowed to watch and I couldn’t really blame him. He would be the baby’s dad as well, but something still felt… wrong.

Ever since that moment with Taron though, I couldn’t get him out of my head. The way he held my hand, how we both cried over seeing the pictures and heard he or she was officially the size of a peach now.

I met up with Amanda a few days later, since we couldn’t really gush about the whole thing with the men around. We had decided to meet at Hyde Park so we could have a stroll around. The weather was too great to sit inside.

“How did it go?” Amanda asked once we met up.

I smiled. She seemed more excited than I was.

“It was good” I didn’t meet her eyes.

“Milly” she drew out my name.

I looked at her then. I hated how well she knew me at times.

“What do you want me to say?” I shrugged “It was great and really emotional”

“Emotional?” she smiled understandingly

“Yeah” I shivered thinking back to that moment “Taron and I both had tears in our eyes”

“Taron too?” she almost yelled.

“Shhh” I tried to calm her down but there was no stopping her now.

We reached a bench and sat down. I didn’t know why but I felt exhausted easily lately.

Probably because of the _peach_.

I smiled.

“You’re blind” Amanda said eventually.

I turned and looked at her “What? Why?”

She gave me a knowing look but I just stared back at her, blinking against the sun.

“The way Taron looks at you even gave me goose bumps” she put her hand over her heart “And I was just an innocent bystander”

Was there a special way he looked at me? I hadn’t realised.

“I don’t think so. He knows I’m with Josh” I said as I rummaged through my bag to find my sunglasses.

“That’s two different shoes. Of course you’re with Josh, but –“ she sighed “Attraction knows no boundaries and definitely not with you two”

I raised my eyebrows at her “Attraction?”

“Don’t tell me you’re not attracted to him” she gave me a look.

Of course I was attracted to him. And I could fool everyone, even myself, but not Amanda.

I put my sunglasses on “But it doesn’t change anything about the situation”

“It could” she said “He is your baby daddy”

_Baby daddy._

My whole body was covered in goose bumps.

“But he is just a stranger” I crossed my arms in front of my body “And I love Josh”

“It sounds to me like you’re finding excuses not to be with him” she smirked at me

I laughed “Being with Josh is no _excuse_ ”

“That glance goes both ways, you know” she smiled “I saw the way you looked at Taron too”

I frowned. Was there a special way I looked at him?

“You’re in love. You just both haven’t realised it yet”

I shook my head, forcing my brain not to deepen these thoughts.

“No” I said “I chose Josh and I will marry him. And Taron is with Emma”

I sighed “Can we just change topics? How are you?”

I felt like we only talked about me.

“Yeah in a sec” she insisted “Let me just ask you one more question”

I rolled my eyes playfully and we both laughed. She was persistent if she saw something I didn’t see.

“If you could have chosen between Taron and Josh 6 years ago –“ she asked “When you hadn’t met Josh yet and Taron hadn’t been with Emma”

I nodded.

“Who would you have chosen?”

**Taron – a few weeks later**

I was exhausted that evening. Work had been physically exhausting and I couldn’t wait for hop into the shower.

I got off the Tube and walked the rest of the way. Hopefully it would help me clear my head a bit. I had been a mess ever since the ultrasound. Seeing my baby and a possibility of what could be, I just didn’t know what to feel anymore.

I just knew I was drawn to Milly but I didn’t know why. Maybe it was just because of the baby. Or was there more?

I unlocked our door and found Emma sitting on the couch.

“Hey” she said when she saw me and pulled me into a hug.

I sighed. I felt home.

But then it felt nothing like intertwining my hand with Milly’s. Or was that just my emotions talking of being a dad soon?

I had barely seen Milly since the appointment and the next was in a few days I think. I wanted to spend more time with her, and with the baby when it arrived.

“How was work?” she asked.

I got out of my jeans jacket and exhaled “It was good. Just pretty exhausting”

“Oh sorry to hear that” she said.

I frowned. Something felt off.

“Are you all right?” I asked her as I pulled her closer to me.

She smiled.

But still something felt wrong.

“I’m good” she smiled but the smile didn’t reach her eyes.

“Emma” I sighed.

I knew her well enough to know when something was up.

“Taron” she whispered before burying her face in her hands “I have had that secret for weeks now”

My heart leaped. Did we get pregnant after all?

“What is it?” I asked hopefully.

“You won’t forgive me for this” she didn’t meet my eyes.

I frowned “Well I’ll be the judge of that”

“I did something pretty stupid” she said quietly, still not meeting my eyes.

“Heeey” I put my hand under her chin and forced her to look up at me “I’m sure it’s not that bad”

Nothing and nobody could prepare me for what she said next.

“It’s my fault another woman got inseminated instead of me”

My breath hitched and I had to sit down on the couch.

“I’m not sure I understand” I said quietly.

I didn’t know how I could keep my voice calm.

She sat down next to me, but we didn’t touch.

“I’m not ready to have kids, Taron” she said.

I looked at her “So that’s why you – what? You paid them to inseminate someone else?” I laughed.

It had to be a joke.

Emma didn’t laugh though.

Seconds felt like minutes.

“That’s what I did” she said eventually.

“Why the fuck would you do that?” I ran my hand through my hair.

“I didn’t know what to do. It was a rash decision. I knew that if I told you that I didn’t want to have kids you would break up with me”

I let out a breath “You don’t ever want kids?”

That was news to me. I remembered her being open for it.

And hell, we tried for years.

“I don’t. But I also don’t want to lose you”

I just felt like I couldn’t breathe. I loved her. But why would she do that to me?

“What if we had gotten pregnant within the last few years? I mean we stopped using protection some time ago” I looked at her.

She looked down to her fingers, fiddling in her lap.

“I never stopped taking the pill” she said quietly.

My mind raced and my voice raised “You’re telling me you let me believe it was _my_ fault we couldn’t have children?”

“No, I never said that” she said quietly.

“But I did! And you never disagreed. Hell, I can’t believe you did that behind my back!”

“I’m so sorry, Taron” she reached for my hand but I pulled it away.

“I hope you can forgive me for this”

I looked at her and I did no longer see the woman I once loved.

“It wasn’t just one thing, Emma” my voice was rough “You kept taking the pill even though we tried for kids. No surprise you never got pregnant” I laughed sarcastically.

“Then you let them inseminate another woman who had no deal in all of this” I ran my hand through my hair.

I still couldn’t quite believe it.

Poor Milly. I had to tell her.


	8. Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We comfort each other. Because we both really need it.

_“Who would you have chosen?”_

That question had haunted me ever since Amanda had said it. I knew the answer and it scared me.

Because it wasn’t the man laying in bed next to me.

I quickly got up as I got sick. I hurried to the bathroom, just in time, and threw up into the toilet.

I hovered over it, breathing hard.

That was the latest addition to the experience of being pregnant. It was no perk though.

“Honey, are you okay?” Josh mumbled eventually after he had probably woken up from all the puking.

I winced “Not really”

“Oh I’m so sorry” he gave me a kiss on the back of my head

“I’d bring you a cup of tea but I’m already late for work” he said as he got into the shower.

_Really?_

He got ready and dressed before giving me another kiss on my hair.

“Have a good day, baby” he winked before leaving.

How had this become my life?

When I finally felt a bit better I got up and put the kettle on. I checked my phone as I waited for the tea to brew.

There was a text from Taron and my heart jumped just reading his name

_< <Can I come by on short notice? It’s important>>_

I frowned. He surely wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.

I texted back _< <Sure. I’m at home>>_

I heard the bell ring a second later and jumped. That couldn’t be him, right?

“Hello?” I asked through the intercom

“It’s me” Taron’s voice had me shivering.

“Can I come up?”

I pressed the buzzer before I knew what hit me. And what I looked like.

Instead I opened the door for him and smiled.

How was he so handsome all the time? He was dressed in a black jeans and black hoodie. I don’t think I had seen him in all black before. But I noticed bags under his eyes and his eyes were red.

Had he been… crying?

“Hey” he said as he pulled me into a hug.

I forgot all my thoughts as I wrapped my arms around his back and breathed him in.

I loved how we were into hugs now. Because he was the only person who actually hugged me really tightly.

I sighed but let go of him before I could start to feel sick again.

“Hi” I smiled “Come on in”

His eyes lingered on me for a second “Are you all right?”

I could ask him the same question.

“Morning sickness” I rolled my eyes

“Oh I’m so sorry” Taron frowned and put one hand on my shoulder “Anything I can do to make you feel better?”

I smiled “I already got tea and some meds”

I had gone to see a doctor days ago and was currently on sick leave.

“Okay good. Well –“ he paused “Let me know if I can make you feel better”

_I could think of a few things._

I lightly shook my head “Why don’t you tell me why you’re here? What’s wrong?”

He inhaled deeply “I don’t really know how to tell you”

My eyes stayed fixated on him. His elbows on his thighs, his hoodie slightly riding up as he leant forward.

“Just tell me” I said quietly.

He looked over to me and my belly flipped. What was it about the way he looked at me? I had thought about what Amanda had said but he didn’t look at me in a special way, did he?

Taron frowned and it was then that I realised his chin wobbled and tears formed in his eyes.

“Heey” I whispered as I wrapped my arm around him and pulled him into a hug.

What had even gotten into me? We weren’t that close.

Yet something had seemed to change since the ultrasound.

We pulled apart eventually and I already missed his body heat against mine.

He sniffled “Emma paid someone at the gynaecologist’s to inseminate you instead of her”

It took a moment for me to register what he had said. His eyes were flickering between mine, waiting for my reaction.

Then I threw my hand to my mouth and hurried to the bathroom, throwing up again.

Why would his girlfriend pay someone to not get pregnant? It didn’t make any sense to me.

I looked up as Taron appeared in the doorway.

“Please just go” I whined.

“I told you I’m here for you” he said, his voice full of determination as he brushed my hair out of my face and held it back.

I sat back on the bathroom floor. I felt better already.

Taron didn’t though.

He looked so hurt and broken.

“Tell me what happened” I said quietly.

“Well –“ he laughed ironically “Let’s see. She took the pill even though we tried for children for years while I blamed myself. And she paid someone to inseminate anyone else but her”

I frowned and put my hand on his shoulder blade, moving it up and down, trying to soothe him.

How was he so muscular?

“Why would she do that?”

Taron’s eyes met mine and suddenly I saw what Amanda had meant. His eyes were looking right through my body, as if he was looking into my soul.

I shivered.

“Are you cold?” he asked “Let me get you a blanket”

He came back with Josh’s duvet and I had to smile at the irony.

“So?” I asked.

Taron sighed “She never wanted children. She just let me believe she did”

I frowned. “Who would do that?”

“Her apparently” he said quietly.

“Hey” I whispered “None of that is your fault”

He looked at me and all I wanted to do was kiss him.

What had even gotten into me?

“I blamed myself” Taron said slowly, not meeting my eyes this time “for not… getting her pregnant”

My heart jumped at his words.

For telling me such personal things and trusting me with it.

For thinking he wasn’t… Oh I bet he was great in bed.

“Thank you for trusting me with this” I said quietly.

He met my eyes again and smiled, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“You had a right to know. You know, with being the victim in all this” his voice was low.

Victim? I didn’t feel like one.

“No, Taron. That’s not –“

He interrupted me “You can still have an abortion if that’s what you want”

Did he think this would change everything?

It didn’t. Not for me.

I glanced over to him and shivered. He seemed so truly hurt and sad. And abortion would be the last straw that would crush him.

I never ever wanted to get rid of that baby. I already loved it more than myself.

And that fact had nothing to do with Taron.

I shook my head “No. I’m keeping the baby”

Taron met my eyes and it was as if a weight had been pulled off his shoulders. It was as if he didn’t allow himself to smile though.

My belly fluttered whenever he smiled and I missed it.

“Where’s Josh?” he asked “If you don’t mind me asking”

I looked down “He’s at work”

“And he left you alone? Like that?” he looked down my body and my heart started racing.

I was just casually hanging around with my baby daddy, who I was attracted to.

In my PJ’s, hugging the loo, smelling of puke.

And what was I supposed to say? Yeah, he was at work, instead of being there for his fiancée. He chose work over me and it wasn’t the first time. Even though it would be no big deal if he started work late.

I shrugged “Yeah. I’m fine on my own”

He wrapped one arm around me and held me. It felt too good to be true. I closed my eyes.

“Nobody should be alone in that situation. And I’m here for you” he said quietly, brushing my hair out of the way.

My body was in sensory overload. Was this about Taron? Or just because a part of him grew inside of me?


	9. Coconut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tension rising.  
> Milly and Josh talk  
> Milly and Taron grow closer
> 
> And the sex is revealed!
> 
> Content from both POV

**Taron**

The heartbreak didn’t last long. Emma had moved out and I was looking forward to never seeing her again. I couldn’t forgive her for what she had done, and of course I had cried but I was madder at her than anything else.

Telling Milly had somehow eased my mind. And I was so stoked to see her growing belly. I didn’t even know what hit me.

We had another ultrasound appointment today and I was happy to see her again.

I arrived early and waited outside for her. When I saw her walk down the pavement in a summer dress, clearly seeing her belly, I felt kind of proud.

As I said, I didn’t even know what hit me.

“Hi” she smiled

Damn her brows eyes were beautiful. As were her full lips.

“Hey” I smiled and pulled her into a hug.

My favourite thing to do. Her body was so soft against mine.

“Should we go in?” she asked hesitantly.

“Sure” I opened the door for her.

She walked past me, swaying with every step she took.

They let us into an examination room and I was relieved she had come alone. But it had me wondering how things were between her and Josh. I would never be a big fan of his, but especially since he had left her hanging.

I was so emotional whenever we got a look at the baby and hear it’s heartbeat.

We both had tears in our eyes and held hands throughout the whole thing. It just felt the most natural thing to do.

“Do you want to know the sex?” the doctor asked eventually.

I blinked. I hadn’t even thought of that and we hadn’t discussed it.

Milly looked at me questioningly.

I smiled at her, my vision blurry from the tears “You choose”

She nodded “Yes, I’d like to know”

Her voice was breaking with emotion and it almost send me over the edge crying like a baby.

The doctor moved the ultrasound device over her belly, looking at the screen.

The gender didn’t even matter that much to me, the most important thing was that it was healthy.

“It’s a girl” he said eventually.

I glanced at Milly and her smile widened as we simply looked at each other, seeing the feelings in each other’s eyes.

A baby girl.

**Milly**

Morning sickness subsided after a while and I was quite happy as I looked at myself in the mirror. My belly was growing.

Josh however, didn’t seem too happy. I thought we had agreed on everything, but he basically ignored me the whole time. I knew I didn’t want to continue our relationship like that.

I was in the middle of cooking pasta when Josh came back home late that night.

“Hi baby” he said, hugging me.

His hugs were nothing compared to Taron’s though. I still shivered at the thought how Taron had looked in the sunlight, waiting for me outside the doctor’s office. He did that every time, and we had ultrasounds every few weeks.

Compared to him, it was as if Josh didn’t really want to hug me. And I missed hugging Taron.

“How was your day?” I gulped.

He let out a breath “It was really busy today”

I wanted to roll my eyes. Every day seemed to be really busy lately.

“We should talk” I blurted out.

I was so sick of his behaviour. I didn’t know how but Taron had given me the confidence to feel like I was worthy of more attention.

He looked up from his phone, frowning “Okay”

Did he really not get it?

“I feel like…” I sighed.

I didn’t know where to start “You’re ignoring me lately”

“I’m not, Milly” he said, his voice hard “I’m just really busy”

I shook my head “That’s not it. That’s no excuse for barely talking to me. Hell, for barely touching me”

I needed comfort. And the only one I got that from was – well, Taron.

“I’m sorry” Josh said as he walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me “I promise I didn’t do it on purpose”

I looked up to him “Then what’s going on lately?”

“We might go under”

I raised my eyebrows, blinking “What? Why? I thought the business was successful?”

He was a law consultant. And had two employees working for him as well.

“We got less and less customers. And with the running costs… we are all trying to acquire new clients really hard right now”

“Oh God Josh, I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked as I stroked his cheek.

“I didn’t want to burden you with any more drama” he looked at my belly “You have enough on your plate as it is”

My baby girl was no burden to me. She was all I cared about.

I smiled “I’m good”

_Actually better than I have ever been._

“Sorry for not telling you” he sighed “I thought I’d figure it out in no time”

“I wish I could help you with this” I said.

“Just take my mind off it” he smirked as he pulled me closer.

I playfully raised my eyebrows “Really? I can think of some ways”

I smashed my lips to his and he groaned as he pulled me even closer. We deepened the kiss, our tongues tangling as he picked me up and carried me to our bedroom.

I had missed this. I had missed him.

We both hurriedly got out of our clothes, breathing hard.

“Are you sure we can do this?” he asked, looking at my naked belly and then meeting my eyes.

I nodded heavily “Yes. I need you”

He dropped his lips to mine and soon enough he slowly thrust into me.

I moaned. I felt every nerve of my body heightening.

He picked up pace and I closed my eyes on exhale.

Something felt wrong though. I could feel myself reaching the edge but not quite.

I knew Josh was close but I wasn’t. I was bothered, my mind was clouded.

He groaned as he came and I did the only thing I could think of – I pretended to come with him.

He rolled off me after and I lay there, trying to calm my breathing as my mind was going wild. What had just happened? I had never faked an orgasm before.

I thought of Taron. And then my mind wandered how different things would be if he and I had met under different circumstances. If we were lovers.

I shivered. I could imagine sharing a bed with him too well.

I shook those thoughts out of my mind.

“I’ve missed you” Josh breathed as he wrapped his arm around me.

“I’ve missed you too” I whispered.

And I had.

But maybe I missed someone else more.

Even though he was so close, yet so far away.


	10. Tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taron and I grow closer and the tension rises!

Saturday rolled around and I had done as much as research as I could. I checked possibilities on pacifiers, strollers, cots, blankets, onesies and everything else that came up. I also had signed up for birth class starting soon.

The only question was… who would go with me?

It was a hot summer and my advancing pregnancy would be the death of me. I was sweating nonstop and could barely sleep. But maybe it was also my emotions running wild, who knew.

I opted for a flowery summer dress that wasn’t even maternity wear. I already felt like a whale as it was. I had to smile, thinking that my baby girl was now the size of a coconut.

Taron had invited me over to his place, so we could take his car to go shopping. I could feel myself growing more and more nervous as I took the Tube to his place.

I had to think back to my phone call with Amanda the other day.

_“I just don’t know what to do” I said as I thought back to the sex debacle with Josh._

_“Just tell me what happened” she said, ever the therapist._

_I shrugged. I didn’t really know and I wasn’t proud to share that info._

_“Well we had sex and it felt good –“ I paused “But… I faked my orgasm” my voice was a whisper._

_“You did?” she asked on the other end of the line._

_I threw one hand over my eyes “I did. That never happened to me before”_

_“Are you serious?” she laughed “That’s no big deal”_

_“No big deal?” I gasped “Faking an orgasm with the man I’m supposed to be with for the rest of my life?”_

_We had decided to get married after the baby arrived so it wouldn’t be so much stress organising. But Josh was still the man I would marry, the only man I would be with in the future._

_“Maybe you were just distracted or not feeling it. Happened to me before” Amanda said calmly._

_How could she be so calm about this?_

_“But – but I thought there is something wrong with my body”_

_I glanced down at my growing belly “Maybe it’s because I’m pregnant”_

_“Maybe” she answered “But I highly doubt it”_

_I frowned “What do you mean?”_

_“Milly” she sighed “It’s not your fault. If anything, pleasure can intensify during pregnancy”_

_I pressed my lips together. That explained why I was feeling hornier._

_“We should just change topics” I grimaced._

_I couldn’t believe I was talking about my sex life that detailed with my best friend._

_“You don’t have to be ashamed of it. Happens to the best of us” she said cheerily._

_“The best of us?” I laughed._

_“Yeah. Maybe you had a bad day”_

_I thought about it. But the most important thing I remembered was thinking of Taron._

_Could I tell Amanda? She was my best friend._

_“I thought of Taron a lot recently” I said quietly._

_She laughed “Well I’m not surprised about that one. I told you you’re in love with each other already”_

_“Amanda” I called “I’m with Josh!”_

_Why was she on Team Taron?_

_“Well…” she sounded proud “From what you just told me it sounds a lot like your body is telling you what your heart already knows”_

I rang the bell at Taron’s place and waited. He opened the door for me and my heart leaped. He was wearing white shorts and a white top and shirt. I was simply at a loss of words. When I met his eyes, they were still travelling over my body.

Oh, this crush just got worse.

“Hi” I beamed

“Hey” his voice was low and he pulled me into a hug.

His hands on my body did things to me. It felt like he lit my whole body up. I just couldn’t explain it, because I never felt anything like it before.

We pulled away eventually and I focused on his lips for a second. How full they were. I bet he was an excellent kisser.

I cleared my throat, shaking that thought.

“Are you ready to go?” he chuckled.

Then I remembered “Actually there is something I wanted to discuss with you if you don’t mind”

“Sure” he stepped aside.

I swear wearing white had him beaming even more than usual.

I had never been at his place before. Everything was light and modern but I was surprised there was so few stuff laying around when I sat down on the couch.

“Would you like something to drink?” he asked, standing next to the couch.

I took him in, all white. A little bit of chest hair was visible on his chest and hell, even his calves were huge.

“Oh uhm.. water would be great” I said.

He smiled and walked off.

It was then that I realised he had baby books laying on his couch table. Taron came back with my glass of water and set it down on the couch table.

“Did you read these?” I asked incredulously.

It had to be four books at least.

He smiled as he sat down right next to me, his eyes moving between mine “Of course”

In fact, he sat down next to me in a way that had our thighs touching ever so lightly.

My body felt so warm. I was happy he took this so seriously. But was that all? Or was that one hell of an attraction?

“What did you want to discuss?” he asked.

How was he so unaffected by all this?

But then it was probably just my pregnancy hormones that had me acting up.

“Oh” I suddenly remembered. “We never talked about where she will stay. If we have to get all things twice”

Taron looked at me for a second before he spoke. His eyes were light green in this light and I could only hope my daughter would have such beautiful eyes.

“Well –“ he let out a breath “I would like to see as much of her as possible but I know it won’t be that easy”

His eyes met mine and he stopped speaking. It was as if he was waiting for my confession.

“I know” I looked down, not being able to meet his intense eyes “It’s probably best to buy everything twice if she’s at your place and at mine”

Taron didn’t speak so I looked up at him. He was still watching me. I was growing hotter. It really was unusually hot.

I shrugged “What do you think? I’m not sure we can afford it though”

“Don’t worry about the money” he said, his voice harder than I was used to “I can take care of that”

“But I don’t want you to” I said quickly

Taron’s eyes were growing colder, as if I offended him.

“It’s my baby too, you know?” he raised his eyebrows.

He was clearly hurt.

“I didn’t mean it like that” I said “I just meant that –“ I sighed “I don’t know”

His features were growing softer again and he put his hand on my knee. My bare knee. I looked at his hand, then at his eyes but neither of us pulled away.

“I still want to pay for some things. Be there for her, more importantly. I just don’t want to be a bystander when my daughter is growing up” his voice was soft.

_His daughter._

And his hand was still on my knee. It seemed to be everything I could focus on. His touch relaxed me, but also had my skin burning where he touched me.

“You won’t be a bystander, Taron” I said quietly “You’re –“ I gulped “You’re her dad”

God, why did this feel so intimate?

He smiled lightly “Turns out I am, yeah”

I smiled too and it broke the tension between us.

“Should we go shopping then?” he asked.

“Sure” we both got up from the couch “I actually made a list”

I rummaged through my bag and pulled out a list with things we needed.

Taron smiled “Let me see”

I handed it to him and our fingers touched.

How was I so overreactive to his touch?

“Oh, one more thing” I said as I watched him reading the list.

Taron looked up from the piece of paper, frowning ever so lightly.

I gulped “I signed up for birth class too”


	11. Shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> POV changes in this one again. Hope you like it!

My feet were starting to hurt badly. But we had gotten onesies, pacifiers, blankets and were in the middle of picking a cot.

There were a lot of great ones but there was one that specifically caught my eye.

It was a white wooden cot with a pink dotted wall inside and mattress. And it even had a drawer under the bed which was practical. It also had a mosquito net, not that we needed one but it looked cute.

“That one?” Taron asked.

How did he know me so well already?

“Oh, that’s a great one” the sales woman said “It’s baby friendly wood, all made in Italy and has a orthopaedic bed base and mattress”

She went on but I already knew I needed to have it.

“How much is it?” I asked absentmindly.

“It’s 600 pounds” she said and my heart stopped for a second “But it’s worth every penny”

I looked over at Taron to find him watching me. I didn’t know how he knew that I wanted this cot, but he did.

“We’ll take it” he said, not dragging his eyes away from mine.

I smiled.

“Perfect” the sales woman said “Let me check stock for you”

They still had one on stock and Taron loaded it into his car. It was only one though, not two. So where would she sleep if she was with him?

I sighed when we drove back to his place. Taron glanced over to me.

“What’s wrong?”

I shrugged “I don’t think it makes sense to buy everything twice” I looked down “I mean this cot was 600 pounds alone”

“Milly” he said quietly “I told you I can take care of that”

I remained silent and was growing sadder by the second. I didn’t want to be away from my baby girl at all. How was I supposed to let her stay at his place? But then I knew he had a right and deserved to see her as much as possible.

But it would break my heart to be away from her.

**Taron**

Milly was acting weird. I couldn’t really put my finger on it, but I was guessing it was the hormones. I wanted to be there for her, and the baby, but she didn’t really let me.

She looked at me so intently every time, my skin heated up. I would definitely have to get that under control, she was engaged after all.

“Should we bring the things to your place right away?” I asked.

Milly was staring out of the window. She seemed focused.

“Yeah” she said quietly “Probably makes sense. My feet really hurt”

She looked over to me and smiled, as if she had made up her mind.

My heart beat picked up whenever she looked at me like that.

“All right” I said as I tried to focus on the road.

Then I remembered what she had said earlier. That she had signed up for birth class.

“Will Josh be taking you to birth class?” I asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

I wanted to be a part of the development of the baby. From what I have read she had to kick already but I would never experience putting my hand on her belly for sure.

“We don’t know yet if he can make it” she said “He has a lot going on with work right now”

I raised my eyebrows and blinked, staring at the road ahead. How could work be more important to him than the baby and her?

“I’d be happy to take you” I said and glanced over at her.

She looked down at her legs and exhaled.

Was she unsure? “Only if you want me to of course”

“I’ll let you know” she said quietly.

We arrived at her place and I pulled the car over. I started to carry all the things upstairs while Milly opened the doors for me and set them down.

“Do you have a bedroom for the baby?” I asked her, a bit out of breath.

It was a hot day today and I wiped the sweat off my forehead. Maybe I shouldn’t have worn white either.

“No” she sighed “She’ll sleep in our room”

I wanted to tell her that I had a baby bedroom ready, she just hadn’t seen it yet. I wanted to tell her that she could move in with me, but then this would never be a possibility.

“Okay good” I said “Should I set up the cot right away?” I asked.

Where was her fiancé anyway?

She looked at me for a second. Something had changed in the way she looked at me, I wonder what it was.

“That would be great. Josh won’t be home until later tonight”

I frowned but didn’t reply as I pulled the assembly instruction from the packaging.

“I can help you” she suggested.

I looked up to her as I was kneeling on the floor, trying to move all the pieces out of the packaging.

“No, no” I said quietly “You sit down and rest”

It was easier to set up than I thought but I sweated nonetheless. I didn’t remember any summer being as hot as that one. I got out of my white shirt so I was only wearing my white top and shorts.

**Milly**

I was seriously bothered. I was sitting on the couch since Taron had insisted I rested. I wanted to help, but I also felt really exhausted from being on my feet all day.

And here I was, watching him set up the cot like the amazing dad he would be, in nothing but a white top and shorts, that left little to the imagination.

I was sweating even though I didn’t even move.

I checked my phone, trying to distract myself and found I had gotten a text from Josh while Taron and I had been out.

_< <Won’t be home until late tonight, I’m sorry. Love you xx>>_

I had felt so lonely recently. I knew Josh did what he needed to do to save his business but often enough I was just sitting on the couch by myself watching TV and just wanted someone who would wrap his hand around me, held me close.

With birth class starting in a few weeks I was seriously starting to wonder who I should take. Maybe I should just go on my own.

I didn’t think Josh would be able to make the time and he wasn’t that invested in the baby, and Taron – well he made me feel things I was too afraid to feel.

“All set” Taron breathed out and I looked over to him.

I had a hard time dragging my eyes away from his shoulders and arms before I could meet his eyes

“Perfect, thank you” I smiled.

“No worries” he smiled back as he brushed his hair out of his face with his arm.

His phone rang and I watched him as he pulled out his phone from his shorts.

“Lindsay?” he answered.

He looked at me as he listened. And I watched him frown.

“Oh no” he whispered.

My heart leaped. Had something happened?

He nodded “Yeah I’ll talk to her. Thanks. I’ll call you later”

He hung up and I waited for him to speak but he didn’t.

He gulped as he looked at me.

“What is it, Taron?”

He looked down, burying his face in his hands for a second. Then he looked up to me again, his face worried.

“The paps caught us. There are pictures of the two of us all over the Internet”


	12. Breathing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay this is CUTE CUTE CUTE

“Pictures?” I asked.

He gritted his teeth. Was it that bad?

“Show me” I said.

He walked over to me and I moved over on the couch so he could set down next to me.

I took in his scent as he sat down and didn’t dare to touch him. His shoulders looked huge up close, I bet he could carry me without any issues at all.

He swiped and typed away on his phone before handing it to me.

I looked at the pictures. They were taken outside one of the shops we had been to. He looked good of course, me not so much. But I wasn’t even worried about the photos all that much, I was rather worried about the headlines.

_< <Taron Egerton will be a dad>>_

_< <Is she carrying his baby?>>_

_< <Did he cheat on Emma with her?>>_

_< <The happy couple is expecting>>_

I gulped. Was I the bad guy now? Media seemed to be split in two halves. The ones who were happy for “us” and the ones who hated me.

I handed the phone back to him, not meeting his eyes.

“Please say something” he whispered.

I scoffed “What do you want me to say? I’m surprised. I mean you said you’re an actor but I never expected something like this to –“

“I’m so sorry. I wish I would have known. No, I should have known better” his voice was low.

“Yeah” I sighed “Will they follow me around now?”

I looked up and found Taron looking at me. His brows were furrowed and his lips were a tight line. He seemed tense. As tense as I felt.

He let out a breath “I don’t know. I don’t think they followed us”

Well, at least that was good news.

“How famous are you?” I asked.

I just had to know what I had to prepare for. I had googled him before all this had started, but still.

Taron didn’t meet my eyes for a while and he didn’t speak. I watched him breathing hard. He seemed mad.

“I never wanted that to happen to you. Or my child for that matter”

Yeah, looked like he didn’t really have a choice.

“I won a Golden Globe last year”

I raised my eyebrows “You have?”

Taron didn’t meet my eyes “Yeah. Press has been intense ever since”

“Well it says you’re talented” I said before I could stop myself.

Then he looked at me, grinning “You think?”

I wanted to slap him on the shoulder playfully but stopped myself. Just.

“I don’t think they give that to just anyone” I teased him.

“Gee thanks” he smiled.

I let out a breath “But I’m not sure what to do about it. I don’t want my daughter to grow up in the spotlight”

I had been stupid. I should have thought of this sooner.

“I don’t want that either” Taron said softly.

I looked over to him “Yeah but you chose that job”

“I didn’t choose _this_ ” he tapped on his phone “But yeah, it comes with it”

“I just don’t want to put my daughter at risk. And I don’t want her to grow up spoiled either”

“Spoiled?” Taron furrowed his brows.

“Oh, come on Taron! If you won a Golden Globe and everything you have to be rich. You said yourself money isn’t an issue”

“Money isn’t an issue” he repeated slowly, clearly confused “But I’m not spoiled. I just want the best for my child. That doesn’t mean I will let her grow up throwing around with money”

I didn’t know how, but he was as humble as he could get.

“Well there has to be a way. Because I don’t want pap pics of my child out there”

“I don’t want that either. We just have to be careful” he said

_We?_

I laughed “I don’t know how _careful_ you want to be”

“It’s a possibility to forbid them to post pictures of her. Which would mean her face would be unrecognisable if they ever catch me outside with her”

I let out a breath. This was a whole other topic. I hadn’t taken that into account yet. What it would mean for my daughter to grow up with a famous father.

“I have to think about it” I sighed

“Hey” Taron put his hand on my shoulder and I looked up to meet his eyes. Finally.

“Don’t overthink it. We will find a way”

I just nodded. I didn’t know if there was a “we” or if _we_ would find a way.

**A few weeks later**

_He kissed me deeply. His tongue ran over my bottom lip and I gasped before he pushed his tongue into my mouth. I kissed him back with all the frustration I had had in me, finally feeling like I could let myself fall in a man’s arm._

_He carried me to our bedroom and softly set me down on the bed. I watched him as he stripped out of his clothes as I stripped out of mine._

_“Are you sure we can do this?” he groaned._

_I nodded before I pulled him to me. He gave in and we both fell down on the bed together._

_This felt so good, and so right._

_“I love you” he whispered as he hovered over me._

_I moaned “Taron, please”_

I woke up, bathed in sweat. I blinked a few times. That dream had felt too real. I could feel my legs shaking as I sat up in bed and glanced at my watch. It was still early morning but Josh was already gone.

My head dropped against the headboard as I closed my eyes. How could that have felt so real?

I ran my hands over my belly as I could feel her kick.

“Good morning baby” I smiled.

The feeling was beyond what I could have imagined.

And I couldn’t wait to hold her in my arms.

I looked around our bedroom. It wasn’t a big room, but now with the cot next to my side of the bed it looked even more smaller. I put all the baby clothes in my closet but it wasn’t that much space. But it wasn’t like Josh and I could move.

The baby was now the size of a small melon and it was getting harder to breathe. I wasn’t going to work anymore and there was still so much to do.

Taron and I had decided on the clause that would forbit media to post pictures of her. I was relieved about that one, and that most of media seemed to be happy for us. None of us reacted or gave a statement and it had calmed down after a while.

Josh had taken it rather well which had me surprised. But I rarely saw him as it was anyway, because he was so busy at work. I missed somebody who would hug me and comfort me, made me feel loved. I knew Josh loved me, but he didn’t really show it.

Taron and I had our birth class today and he picked me up.

“Hi” I smiled as I got into his car.

“Hey” he looked good in his jeans jacket.

It was starting to get colder and I was thankful.

But I felt pretty hot after what I had dreamt about.

“Did you sleep well?” Taron asked.

I blinked and glanced over to him “What?”

He smiled “I said traffic was hell”

What was going on with my mind?

“Oh…” I said “No surprise there” I grimaced.

He chuckled.

We arrived at the Better Birth Stories centre and there were already a few people there. I headed for a couple around our age who were already sitting on a mat.

“Hi I’m Milly” I said and waved.

“Hello how are you? I’m Poppy” the woman said “And that’s Aaron”

“Hi” Aaron said.

I wanted to head to get a mat but Taron stopped me.

“I’ll get it” he put his hand on my arm.

“Thank you” I smiled.

“I’m good, how are you?” I asked.

“I’m good” Poppy said, then grimaced “Just more and more back pain”

“Tell me about it” I laughed.

Taron set the mat down and helped me sit down. His arms were on my waist and he sat down behind me, just like the couple next to us.

“Oh, I’m Taron by the way” he said to Poppy and Aaron

“Nice to meet you, man” Aaron said.

“How far along are you?” Poppy asked.

“Week 34” I said “And you?”

Her eyes widened “Me too!”

I laughed “Awesome!”

The class started and they explained a lot about the organisation and what the course would entail exactly. I listened carefully and wished I could look at Taron. Instead, he was sitting right behind me, my body against his and I could hardly remember anything the midwife was talking about.

“We will start with some simple breathing exercises” she said “You can both put your hands on the mother’s belly and we will start by inhaling and exhaling deeply”

“Is this okay?” Taron whispered behind me and I could feel his breathing against my ear.

My body went rigid. Why was I afraid of this?

I just nodded “Yeah”

I put my hands on my belly and felt Taron’s hand around my waist until his hands lay down on top of mine.

Good thing we were supposed to inhale deeply because I just couldn’t catch my breath. No matter how hard I breathed I just didn’t get enough air into my lungs.

“Perfect” the midwife said “Now try to relax a bit and lean back against your partner”

I closed my eyes as I exhaled shakily. Pictures of last nights dream ran through my mind, so I quickly opened them again.

“I’m there” I heard Taron breathe “You won’t fall”

It was as if he knew I needed someone to catch me from falling, to hold me close.

I leant back and felt his hard torso against my back and his breathing against my ear.

I started to relax and listen to Taron’s breathing.

I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of my body against his and his arms around me. Then I noticed he rubbed tiny circles on my belly and I had to fight gasping.

My belly fluttered and I smiled. She was kicking again.

“Wait, is that…?” Taron’s voice was a whisper, and it was breaking.

I smiled and kept my eyes closed as I felt my eyes well up with tears.

“Yeah that’s her”

He intertwined his hands with mine, still on my belly and I just let it go.

I just enjoyed this moment for as long as it would last.


	13. Breakup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well my readers tell me it was about damn time!

**Taron**

_“Hey, you’ll be fine” I hear her voice._

_It soothes me that she is with me._ _The mother of my child._

_I mumble something and scrunch my eyes close, but even that doesn’t help me to block out the pain._

_“It is all right, the ambulance will be here in a second” she says._

_I want to hold her close, hug her, kiss her. But I can barely move._

_I open my eyes ever so slightly to see her brown eyes looking into mine._

_Her long brown hair._

_I feel like I’m falling asleep and the last thing I see is her._

I sat up in bed, breathing shakily. It couldn’t have been her who had been with me after the accident, right?

I was probably just processing what had happened. My hands on her belly, feeling the baby kick under her skin. It was so extraordinary and possibly the best moment of my life. Wait, scratch that. It was the best moment of my life.

I rubbed my eyes and sat up.

What I felt for her was way beyond what I should feel. But what were we to each other? We weren’t friends, but we also weren’t lovers.

I decided to call my best friend.

“Hi Taron” he answered

I chuckled “Hi Richard. How are things?”

He let out a breath “We’re all good. Nia grows so fast I can hardly keep track”

I smiled.

He had married the love of his life Sofie two years ago. Their daughter was now one year old. Something I could only dream of.

“You’re so lucky mate” I said as I turned on the coffee maker.

“How are you though?” he asked “How is Milly?”

“She’s good. I’m just not sure about myself. I dreamt of the accident again and it was her who was with me”

“What are you talking about?”

“It seemed so real, Rich! It was as if it was her” I still couldn’t believe it.

“Maybe it was” he said

What were the odds?

“You know I don’t believe in fate” How were we having that conversation?

“Taron” he said “You have been looking for her for a year after the accident. Trying to find out who she was and you were crushed when you couldn’t find her”

I shrugged and sat down on the couch.

“Well I just wanted to thank her”

“Are you sure that is all?” he chuckled.

No, I knew that wasn’t all. I had felt some kind of connection to her. Why did I feel so drawn to that woman and to Milly at the same time?

It made me think it had been her. Long brown hair, brown eyes. And damn, I couldn’t get that face out of my head.

What I would do to hold her close again like we had. To show her the room I had created for the baby. To be a real family who lived together and truly deeply loved each other.

**Milly**

I was out to run some errands and enjoyed the clear winter sky. I hated that I was on my own, but Josh had to work again.

Taron and I were closer than ever and I enjoyed every minute we spent together. Actually, the birth class sessions with him were the highlight of my life.

The baby was healthy and growing as planned but my back pain and heartburn only got worse. At this point I was just ready to give birth already, even though that thought scared the crap out of me.

Poppy and I actually had lunch to groan over how we felt.

“Do you know if you’re having a boy or a girl?” she asked.

I smiled “I’m having a girl. What about you?”

“I’m having a boy” she smiled “Have you talked about names yet?”

Then I realised we hadn’t “Not yet actually”

“We picked a name a few days ago. Declan”

“That’s a beautiful name!” I said.

“Your boyfriend is really beautiful, you know?” she smirked.

I almost choked on my pasta “Oh he’s not my boyfriend”

She frowned “He isn’t? I thought you were the cutest couple there”

Aaand I felt my daughter kicking.

“No we’re just – we’re…”

What were we really?

“Sounds complicated” she smirked.

“Oh it is” I said.

I told her the story and I she was surprised to say the least.

“These kinds of things really happen?” she raised her eyebrows “I thought that only happens in movies”

I laughed “No, not just movies. Unless my life is a movie”

We both laughed then.

“But you must have found a way to handle it because Taron and you seem really comfy with each other”

I didn’t know what it was about me and Taron. Or maybe I was too blind to see it.

Josh came home later that night while I was sitting on the couch watching What to expect when you’re expecting. But I didn’t really like the movie all that much.

“Hi honey” I smiled and wanted to get up from the couch.

It took me more and more time these days.

“Hi” he said and placed a quick kiss on my cheek.

“What’s wrong?” I frowned.

He got out of his coat before he sat down on the couch next to me.

“I’m not sure I can do this anymore” he said, his voice hard.

I laughed “This? What do you mean by _this_?”

He gestured towards my belly “This”

The smile froze on my lips “What do you mean? You said you were fine with it”

“Well I guess I changed my mind”

I looked at him but he showed no reaction. He was serious.

“You have got to be kidding me” I still said, lacking for something else to say

“I’m not. And I’m truly sorry. But I feel like I had to tell you. I have been carrying this around for a while”

I felt tears form in my eyes “So you’re telling me you don’t want to marry me? You want to break up with -?” my voice broke.

He didn’t respond for a while and I knew I had my answer.

“I’m not saying I want to break up with you. I’m just saying I can’t raise another man’s baby with you” he looked at me sincerely “I want kids of my own”

“And I want more kids too. It’s not like this –“ I gestured towards my belly “will be the only one. Not if I have a say in it”

“But you’ll always have that kid you share with that other guy”

I blinked “That other guy? You mean Taron?”

He couldn’t even say his name.

“Yeah” he said as he got up and ran his hand through his hair “I’m sorry but I have to think of myself too”

And there I sat, on the couch and started crying. All on my own, with nobody to call.

I knew Taron would be there for me if I called him, but I didn’t want him to worry.

I got ready for bed later that night and could barely see straight after all that crying.

“I’ll sleep on the couch tonight so you can have the bed to yourself” Josh said as I walked into our bedroom.

I just stared at him “Thanks”

I couldn’t understand why he would do that to me. And why he hadn’t been honest with me from the start.

I lay down in bed and cried myself to sleep, thinking about where I would end up. Maybe being a single mom? It couldn’t be that hard.

I woke up in the middle of the night because I had to pee really bad.

I nearly fell off the toilet when I pulled my panties down and found blood on them.

This couldn’t be happening.

I didn’t want to lose my daughter after losing everyone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay who else is worried about the baby?


	14. Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How is the baby?  
> How is Milly?  
> How is Taron?

I was crying while still sitting on the toilet when I realised I had to act. I got dressed, took my handbag and walked into the living room, waking Josh who was peacefully asleep.

“What is it?” he grumbled.

Had he ever been such an asshole?

“I’m bleeding. I need to go to the hospital” my voice was uneven.

He looked at me “I have to be up early tomorrow”

I laughed sarcastically “If you have ever loved me and not just pretended to love me you will drive me to the ER right now”

I started yelling.

“Okay, okay” he said as he got up.

I texted Taron on the way to the hospital. Once I had sent the text, I wish I could take it back. He would only worry too much. I was already a nerve wreck as it was.

I was imagining all kinds of scenarios in my head and none of them were good news. But I remembered my baby hadn’t kicked all night. I really hoped that didn’t mean what I thought it did.

We arrived at the hospital and Josh just dropped me off. I was on the verge of yelling at him for being such an asshole but I reminded myself that I had to focus on my baby.

I registered at the front desk and they let me into an ultrasound room. I was breathing so hard I could barely focus.

I lay down, praying to God there would be a heartbeat.

A doctor in his fifties walked in

“Hi, I’m Dr. Davies”

“Hi” I said shakily and we shook hands.

“Let’s see what we got okay?” he said “From what you said it sounds like all is well”

I almost started crying. I could only hope so. Because the alternative would be wrecking up my life.

He put the ultrasound device on my belly and I waited.

These seconds felt like years.

Then we heard her heartbeat.

“There is your baby” the doctor smiled “She looks well. Bleeding is unusual in this stage, but from what I see you have nothing to worry about”

Then I started to cry. Because I was so relieved she was still with me.

“Thank you, doctor” I sniffled. “How does it happen though?”

“It can be caused by stress or exercise” he looked at me. “So make sure you rest and avoid stress”

I hadn’t exercised. But I had been stressed.

This was all Josh’s fault.

“We will keep an eye on you for a day and if everything is great we can discharge you tomorrow”

I nodded “Okay, thank you”

Once I had a bed and they had a constant ultrasound around my belly to watch the baby, I decided to text Taron.

_< <All good. False alarm. Just have to stay here till tomorrow>>_

I slept a bit because I was just tired, as was my girl. When I woke up I found Taron sitting in the chair next to my bed. He was wearing a hoodie and jeans but his face -

I gasped. He seemed to have been in an accident.

“What happened to you?” I asked worriedly, suddenly remembering the images from all these years ago.

He frowned “Nothing”

“Your face” I almost wanted to reach out and touch his cheek.

He smiled “Oh that’s just makeup. I came straight from work”

“How are you?” he dragged his chair closer to my bed.

“I’m good. Thank God” I sighed in relief “I – I thought –“

That was when the tears came back.

“I thought I had lost her” my voice was quivering.

I looked at Taron who was almost crying with me. His green eyes seemed so sad and anxious.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know. I just got up in the middle of the night and found out I had been bleeding. I – I was so scared” I looked down.

Taron took my hand in his and I was so glad I had him back. It had only been a few days but after the drama last night I needed him now more than ever.

He intertwined our fingers and my heart skipped a beat.

“Bleeding doesn’t happen just like that, from what I have read” he said softly “You can tell me”

I looked at him and his green eyes were so sincere.

Thinking back to it I was even angrier at Josh.

“Josh and I had a fight” I said quietly “He said he can’t raise a baby that isn’t his”

I didn’t meet Taron’s eyes and it took a second for him to react.

“That asshole did what?” he practically yelled.

“Shhh” I tried to calm him down.

“I know. It threw me off and I –“ I sighed “Well I cried all night”

Taron’s brows were furrowed and his jaw was clenched. I didn’t think I had ever seen him like that before.

When his eyes met mine again his features softened “I can’t believe he did this to you”

All I wanted to do was reach out and touch his cheek. Actually I did exactly that. Taron blinked slowly, parting his lips and maybe that was the reaction I had been waiting for.

“It’s all good now” I whispered.

“It will be” Taron said, more meaning in his voice than I could pick up on.

I let out a breath “I hope so. I never wanted to – to raise a child on my own. I mean you’re her dad and all” I said quickly “But it’s not like we’re…”

I gulped.

We weren’t lovers. I would still have to juggle my job and the baby somehow.

“Did you break up with Josh?” Taron asked slowly.

I almost picked up hope in his voice.

I scoffed “Yeah. I mean we didn’t really talk but the way he treated me – I can’t believe I only found out now who he really is”

I started rambling “I’ll have to move out and also bring all the baby stuff. And I’ll have to find a place to stay, maybe with a separate room for the baby”

“Move in with me” Taron interrupted me.

My eyes shot to his. He meant this.

“Taron” I said “I don’t know if that’s a good idea”

“Why not?” he asked “It will be so much easier to take care of the baby”

Did he think we were friends only?

“There is still so much to think about” I said “Maybe I should have my own place. I have to think of the baby first”

“Milly” he exhaled my name and my body was covered in goose bumps

“Don’t you think it’s the best for the baby if we’re together?” his voice was low.

“I mean we’re her parents”

My belly fluttered and I grabbed Taron’s hand and put it on my belly. He was surprised for a split-second before he realised what was going on. She was kicking again.

His smile widened, as did mine.

“I was so worried” he whispered eventually and I looked over to him.

He reached up and caressed my cheek with his hand. My spine tingled at the contact.

“So worried” he repeated and his eyes travelled between mine before he looked at my lips.


	15. Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is still something Taron has to find out... 
> 
> Both POV in this one again.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Taron**

Neither of us moved as I felt the baby kick. I was so damn relieved she was fine. I didn’t know what I had done otherwise.

My smile widened when I realised what Milly was wearing.

“I can’t believe they put you in a hospital gown”

Milly grimaced “Well I didn’t bring any clothes with me”

I looked into her eyes searchingly and removed one hand from her belly to cup her cheek. She slowly closed her eyes and I exhaled.

All I wanted was to kiss her. But I couldn’t.

“What do you say?” I whispered “Will you move in with me?”

She opened her eyes again and her beautiful brown eyes stared into mine. She looked away as I could feel her thinking about it.

“I won’t find a place to stay on such short notice so it might be for the best”

Thank God for that. I wanted her to move in with me and never leave. Ever.

“I still have to get all my things though. And all the baby stuff” she went on “Oh and we’re friends, right?”

My heart dropped. But I would have her any way I could.

I smiled “Yes, we’re friends”

“Okay” she seemed relieved.

I always wanted to have a functioning happy family since I couldn’t have that as a child. So how would my daughter grow up with parents that didn’t love each other? It broke my heart to think about it.

“Great” I forced out the word “I’ll get everything ready then”

“I can only get my things when they release me so that’s hopefully tomorrow” she said.

Then I had an idea.

“Did you bring the keys with you?”

She frowned before she answered “Yes. Why?”

I shrugged “I don’t want to intrude but I was thinking I could get your stuff and the baby things?”

Was I overdoing it?

I waited for her reaction and she smiled.

“That would be great, Taron” I loved how she said my name.

_“You’re welcome, Taon” her cheeks reddened. She was so cute._

_“It’s actually Taron” I corrected “Starbucks always gets names wrong”_

_“Oh sorry, Taron. But yeah, you’re right about Starbucks and names” she rolled her brown eyes and laughed._

_I smiled._

I shook my head at the memory. What was that?

“Taron?” Milly asked.

I looked at her, blinking.

“Yeah?” I let out a breath

She blinked “I just said Josh won’t be home anyway”

I frowned. I wouldn’t have minded. Actually, I would have beaten the living daylights out of him for putting my baby at risk.

“Just let me know where I find everything” my voice was a bit gruff.

“Okay” she sighed “My clothes and the baby clothes are in the left side of the drawer. The cot is in the bedroom and a box with all other baby things is in the bottom drawer in the hall. Oh my suitcases are the pink and light green ones, you can load all stuff in there”

“Perfect” I smiled and caressed her belly one last time “I’ll come by later”

I got her handbag for her and she handed me the keys.

“Thanks for doing this” she said quietly “I don’t know if I want to go back there”

“No worries. I got this” I smiled before I dropped a kiss to her cheek.

I lingered there for a second, taken aback by my own actions. It felt good to kiss her, too good.

“See you later” I winked as I left her room.

I arrived at her place and it was strange to be here without her around. I decided to load the cot into the car first, since it was the biggest and heaviest. Once I had done that I walked back upstairs and looked for her suitcases. They were stored on top of the closet in the bedroom and I unzipped them.

I ran my hands through my hair before I opened the left door of the closet. It felt so weird and intimate to go through her things, but I would do her a favour by doing that. I got why she hadn’t wanted to come back here.

I remembered her telling me about the box with baby things in the hall and decided to bring that downstairs first.

And there I was, standing in front of her closet again, afraid to go through her stuff. I was surprised she had so few things. I started putting her shoes into one suitcase and her clothes into the other. I felt like I was done in no time, trying to pay as less attention as possible to her clothes, shoes and underwear. But my fingers were trembling every now and then.

I loaded a few handbags into the suitcase with the shoes and zipped that one up, carrying it downstairs and loading it into my car.

I jogged back upstairs to get the last few things left in the closet. I looked through it to find it empty when I spotted a small box in the left back corner.

I pulled it out, frowning. Was this hers?

I opened it and it took me a second to realise what I was looking at.

It was a scarf. A flowery scarf that looked unusual and familiar. I unfolded it and gasped as tears sprang to my eyes. I sat back on my heels as I looked at the piece of fabric, washed but clearly indicating blood stains on it.

My blood stains.

My back rested against the closet as I felt images from the accident run through my mind. But this time, I wasn’t afraid.

_“Hey, you’ll be fine” I hear her voice even more clearly now._

_I feel some fabric wiped over my face. Soft and thin fabric._

_“My leg” I groan and scrunch my eyes closed even tighter._

_But it isn’t just my leg that hurt._

_“It will be all right, the ambulance will be here in a second” her voice is all I hear._

_I slowly open my eyes and it is her face I see, full of worry. She holds a piece of fabric in her hand, a scarf, a bloody scarf._

_I close my eyes again and I know I’m safe because she is with me._

I blinked rapidly and smiled. So it had been her. That had been the reason why she had felt so familiar, and I had felt so drawn to her. The woman I had been looking for.

The woman who saved me.

Why didn’t she tell me?

I stood up and took the box, leaving her keys on the drawer in the hall and pulling the door shut behind me.

I brought all the things to my place and put the cot next to the one I had bought. The exact same version. Because Milly had loved it so much. I wondered what she would say to the room I made for the baby.

But my mind was running wild with what I had just found out.

I put the suitcases into my bedroom, only grabbing what seemed to be one of her maternity sweat pants and shirt so she could change. I would leave the rest for her to unpack, it already felt a bit creepy as it was.

I ran my hands over my face before heading to the hospital again.

I couldn’t wait to see her.

**Milly**

Had I made the wrong choice? Letting Taron pick up all my things?

But then every nerve ending in my body told me not to go back there after what happened. The last memory I had at the place was thinking I had lost my baby. I wrapped my arms around my belly and sighed in relief. All was good now.

I would move in with Taron and it would surely turn out good. We would both be able to take care of the baby.

As for being friends with him?

I knew I would have him in my life forever from this point, because he would always be the father of my daughter. It was for the best if we kept things platonic.

But how would I get him out of my head?

I knew the answer to that: Never.

I tried to occupy myself the best I could by watching TV. Then I decided to call Amanda. I had totally forgotten to keep her updated on everything.

“Hi how are you?” she answered cheerily.

“Hi, I’m at the hospital right now but I’m fine” I had such a way with words.

“Oh Milly what happened?” her voice grew more worried.

“I had a bleeding last night after –“ I sighed “after Josh told me he didn’t want to raise my baby and basically broke up with me. But the baby is fine”

I smiled as I ran my hands over my belly.

“Oh, dear God!” she gasped “This could have turned out bad!”

I knew that and I was glad the worst-case scenario didn’t happen.

“Does Taron know?” she asked.

“Yeah. Actually, he’s just picking up all my things from the flat right now”

“Whaaat” I could hear her call. “Are you together now?”

I frowned “No we’re not. I’ll move in with him because I have no other place to stay and it’s probably the best for the baby”

I could hear her smiling “You are moving in together?”

That was all she got from what I had said?

I smiled too “We have to keep things platonic. I don’t want to mess anything up when it comes to the baby”

“Mess up? What could you possibly mess up?” she asked

“Well –“ I sighed.

It would be awful if we tried to date but failed. If somehow our relationship wouldn’t work out. Hell, I just got out of a relationship with a man I thought had been the love of my life.

“I just don’t want things to be awkward between us”

“Well good luck trying” she laughed “I bet you can barely keep your hands off each other once you live together”

I shook my head. She could root for Taron and me to be together all she wanted, it would be for the best for us to be friends.

I saw a movement in the corner of my eye and it was Taron walking in. He looked happy. Had things gone well? But there was also something about his face expression I couldn’t quite put.

“Hey Amanda, can I call you back?”

“Sure. Talk to you later”

I ended the call and looked at Taron as he walked towards my bed and sat down in the chair next to it.

“Did things go well?” I asked.

He just nodded and took my hand in both of his, before kissing the palm of my hand.

I gasped, as I had earlier when he had kissed me on the cheek. My smile was foolishly wide.

“What’s going on?”

He seemed so emotional. He met my eyes and they were sparkling. He didn’t speak for a while and just looked at me.

I frowned and was starting to worry.

“Taron?”

“I remember you” he exhaled “from 6 years ago. Or almost 7 now” he shrugged.

My heart stopped for a second before beating way more rapidly than before. I was so afraid of what he would say.

“What? How?” was all I could ask.

“I found the scarf. In the box together with the receipt of Starbucks that day”

I could barely breathe. He had found out after all this time? Because I had asked him to pick up my things?

“Taron, please let me explain” I pleaded “I’m so sorry for what happened”

Then he pulled his brows together, the smile on his lips I loved so much fading.

“What are you talking about?” he asked, confused.

“It’s all my fault” my voice was rough “If I hadn’t stopped you to hand you your cup of coffee that accident never would have happened”

The inside corners of his eyebrows curved upwards as his smile spread across his face again. I had never seen anything like it before.

“You don’t know that” his voice was low “Maybe the accident would have been worse”

“No it wouldn’t have been. That car was –“

He pressed his forefinger to my lips to shut me up. And it was what I needed.

“None of this was your fault. Hell, if anything it was mine for not checking the road thoroughly enough before crossing. And the driver’s fault of course”

I nodded as I bit my lip.

Taron leaned in closer and I took in his scent. His green eyes were so intense as he brushed his thumb over my bottom lip, releasing it from my teeth. His eyes lingered on my lips for a while, before he spoke again.

“You saved me” his voice was low. And happy.

I lightly shook my head “No. I didn’t safe you. I just made sure you were okay until the ambulance arrived”

Now Taron was the one who pressed his lips together “I have dreamt about you for years”

My heart jumped and I raised my eyebrows. He had?

“But I couldn’t see your face clearly” he continued “until today”

My smile widened and my belly fluttered again. I couldn’t believe he finally remembered me, after all this time.

“Well –“ I sighed.

I was at a loss for words

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, his eyes moving between mine.

I looked down to my hands.

“I’m sorry I didn’t. I just thought it was all my fault and I didn’t want you to think –“

“It wasn’t your fault” he repeated

“I should have told you” I said “I was so scared of what you would think of me”

“Well I know now and I’m thankful I have found you” he smiled and rolled his eyes in relief “After all this time. I went looking for you after the accident”

My heart leaped and my eyebrows shot up “You did?”

He nodded and smiled boyishly “But I couldn’t find you”

His face and voice were so sincere. My whole body ached and finally, everything seemed to make sense. We had been drawn to each other ever since that day, and we were finally reunited.

“You found me now” I breathed out, smiling.

“Yeah, I have” he grinned “And I’m not letting you go ever again”


	16. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Milly moves into Taron's place. Find out what happens when he shows her the room for the baby

Taron insisted on staying with me throughout the night. He just wouldn’t leave my side, no matter how much I tried to argue with him that he would have a better sleep at home. The doctor checked on me and the baby again the next day but all was well, so they released me.

I was so glad all had been false alarm.

Taron took us to his place and I still had to wrap my head around the fact that I would live there now. It scared me, but at the same time I was relieved. I blamed my pregnancy hormones for the confusion in my mind.

“Welcome” Taron smiled when he opened the door and gestured for me to go inside.

Everything was just like I remembered, except for some unwashed pots and pans in the kitchen.

“Do you cook often?” I asked as we stood in the living room and I glanced over to the kitchen.

Overall his place was huge though, nothing like the cramped up space where I used to live. But I wanted to start fresh and shake the old place and the memories that came with it out of my mind.

“I love to cook” Taron’s eyes lit up “Maybe we can cook something together sometime?”

I smiled “I’d love that”

“Can I get you a glass of water?” he asked “Or something else to drink”

“Water is fine” I said “But you don’t have to bring me anything. I gotta get used to –“ I stopped myself.

I had to get used to actually living here.

“Well –“ Taron looked at me intently, getting what I had meant “Feel right at home”

He showed me around the kitchen and everything was new and well equipped. I was speechless.

He looked at me, clearly amused when I was speechless.

“And there’s the bathroom” he went on.

The bathroom was spacious too, with a shower and bathtub, and a window. It only kept getting better.

I didn’t even ask how he could afford it, because – well – I knew.

“Oh and that’s the bedroom. I put the suitcases in there”

I glanced at the suitcases, then at the huge bed and a wall full of drawers

“You have a lot of clothes” I laughed as heat creeped up my spine.

I hadn’t even thought about us sharing a bed.

Taron rolled his eyes “Yeah, mostly work clothes, suits and stuff. But this side of the drawer –“ he gestured towards the two right drawers “is yours”

I smiled. I didn’t even have that much stuff “Perfect. Thank you”

I took Taron in, clearly as unsure about the whole thing as I felt, in yesterday’s clothes, his hands in his pockets. He was cute and I couldn’t believe he did all that for me.

“What about the bed?” I blurted out.

Taron looked at me frowning, before he grinned. I could just look at him all day.

“Just choose whichever side you prefer to sleep on”

“Which side do you sleep on?” I insisted.

Taron’s eyes flickered between mine, clearly amused “You’re stubborn, aren’t you”

I smiled “I definitely am. It’s your place. I’m just –“

I stopped myself from saying I would only stay here for a short period of time.

“I sleep on the left side” he said “But I don’t mind really”

“No that’s perfect because I sleep on the right side” I smiled.

“Well I used to have a guest bedroom but –“ Taron stopped talking mid-sentence.

I furrowed my brows “What happened to it?”

He didn’t meet my eyes and raised his shoulders. He seemed tense, nervous even.

“I wanted to show you this later, but –“ he let out a breath “I guess it doesn’t matter”

I still frowned. What was he talking about?

“Come with me” he took my hand before I could stop him and it felt good. Actually I was already getting used to his touch, or addicted to it more like it. He let me to the room right next door and looked at me, his hand on the door handle.

“What’s going on, Taron?”

“We can change it if you don’t like it” he said quietly.

Then he opened the door and I gasped.

It was a big, sunny room and it took me a moment to take everything in. There were two cots, both the same version I loved, a changing table and even a small couch and a lounge chair. I slowly walked inside, running my hand over the beautiful changing table, over to the window which was overlooking a garden. There was a box with toys in one corner and a drawer right beside it. It was absolutely perfect.

It was then that I realised there were stars fairy lights on the walls that were painted light rose. I glanced around and found empty frames on the other wall.

I frowned as I met Taron’s eyes. He was leaning against the doorframe, his hands in his jeans pocket as he took me in. He seemed worried but he noticed me looking at the frames.

“Memories to be made” he said quietly.

I nodded and felt like crying. How had he been so thoughtful? How had he done all this without me realising?

“Taron, this is amazing” I said eventually, my voice quivering.

I met his eyes and he smiled ever so lightly

“Well if you want to add or change anything feel free to –“

“It’s perfect” I was smiling from ear to ear.

How could he be unsure?

I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around him. It took him a split-second before he hugged me back and I enjoyed his arms around my waist, his body against mine.

I didn’t know how long we stood there like this but when we broke apart I had tears in my eyes.

“When did you do all this?” I smiled.

He took in my smile before answering “I don’t work every day you know”

Such a tease.

I smiled.

“And I had a little help” he added.

“You know my best friend Richard and his wife Sofie have a one-year old girl and he knew exactly what I should get”

Well, he hadn’t been wrong.

“It’s beautiful, Taron”

“I was worried about what you might say” he said.

I laughed “This –“ I gestured around “is every girl’s fantasy”

“Is it?” Taron raised one eyebrow.

How was he so cute and sexy at the same time?

I just nodded “Yeah”

Taron insisted on cooking dinner while I unpacked my suitcases and it felt so odd to unpack things I had been used to in my old flat. Actually, I didn’t even unpack some stuff that reminded me of Josh too much.

“Dinner’s ready” I heard Taron call

“Coming” I called back.

Were we already acting like we lived together for years?

I walked into the kitchen. Taron was in the middle of loading vegetables on our plates, most of which seemed like pumpkin.

I had to laugh

Taron met my eyes, clearly amused, before handing me a plate “Pumpkin for our pumpkin”

The baby was officially the size of a small pumpkin now.

“Oh, this is delicious” I almost moaned after taking a bite.

“Thanks” he chuckled.

“You should cook everyday” I teased him.

“Well I’m excited for what _you_ will cook for _me_ ”

“Are you now?” I raised my eyebrows.

We both laughed.

“What’s your favourite pizza?” I asked eventually.

“Ham, pineapple and black olives” Taron chewed “You?”

I smiled “Ham and pineapple”

“Favourite dessert?” Taron asked.

I rolled my eyes “All of them, obviously”

Taron laughed and that sound completely threw me off. He sounded so sincere and comfortable. It had me wondering how things would be when the baby arrived. We already felt so at ease with each other.

“Yeah” Taron’s voice was low “I can’t wait to eat dessert again”

“Are you not allowed right now?” I frowned.

He shook his head, clearly sad “The movie I’m shooting at the moment? Well I have to be fit and also look the part”

I glanced at him in his tight white long sleeve shirt that left little to the imagination. Yet I still wondered what he looked like underneath.

I cleared my throat “Well I’ll bake something for you when you can eat sweets again”

Taron smiled “I’d love that. I’m already counting the days”

“And I can’t wait to eat cheese again. I miss it so much”

“Well it’s not that long” he said.

I was happy he was trying to cheer me up.

I laughed “Yeah but I’ll have to survive Christmas without it”

Then it hit me. How did he usually celebrate Christmas? What would that mean for us? How would we spend Christmas with the baby in the future?

“I’ll hop into the shower real quick” Taron said after I had helped him wash the dishes.

“Sure” I had to gulp as images of him in the shower ran through my mind.

“Make yourself comfortable on the couch if you like” he smiled before walking off into the bedroom.

I sat down on the couch and glanced at the huge TV hanging on the wall. I wasn’t surprised he was into movies since he was an actor himself.

Then I had an idea and grinned. I pulled up Amazon and searched for “Taron Egerton”

I was surprised at how many movies came up and picked one.

Robin Hood.


	17. Lullaby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cutest Taron daddy fluff you will ever read! And the baby isn't even born yet!

I was in the middle of watching, all bothered to watch him kissing Marian. My mind trailed off, wondering how good his kisses really were, when Taron walked towards me.

He was wearing grey sweatpants and a tee and I shivered. Those pants left very little to the imagination. I tried to stay fixated on the movie playing on the TV but it was getting harder and harder.

Taron groaned “Oh you have got to be kidding me”

I looked over to him again before he sat down next to me, grimacing.

“What? Do you not like that movie?” I smiled at his reaction.

He looked at me, rather than the TV “I’m no big fan of it, no”

I shrugged “Well I think it’s good”

But maybe it was more about Taron being in it than the actual storyline.

He still stayed and watched with me and I couldn’t remember the last time I had watched a movie with someone outside of the cinema. I started to shiver eventually and Taron brought me a blanket.

“You’re cold quickly” he said worriedly.

I smiled “Yeah. I was like that even before I got pregnant. Only now it changed from hot to cold quickly”

Especially around _him_.

“But you don’t seem to be at all” I smiled at him, still sitting there in his tee and he was barefoot.

“That’s probably all the muscles keeping me warm” he winked.

Oh, he was a great winker.

I laughed “Where did you learn to wink like that?”

Taron looked at me dead-serious “What? It’s not that hard”

He winked again with the other eye and I giggled.

“Well I can’t wink for shit”

“Show me” Taron insisted, smiling

I tried, but whenever I winked, I almost closed both my eyes.

We cracked up laughing.

“Uh nice one” I said as I focused on the TV again.

Little John was just training Robin Hood to shoot arrows. Taron was wearing a long sleeved light blue shirt and you could definitely see those muscles tensing when he drew the bow.

“Did you actually shoot those arrows yourself?” I asked him.

Taron nodded as he glanced at the TV before looking at me again.

Boy, his eyes were so beautiful in this dim light. They almost seemed brown, instead of green.

“Yeah. I learnt to shoot arrows before we started shooting. But those arrows were added in during post production”

“That is so cool” I said excitedly.

“Not really” Taron laughed “But it was interesting to have an insight how it works”

“Can you still do it?” I asked.

None of us really paid attention to the TV anymore.

Taron smirked “Haven’t really tried again but bring me an arrow and bow and I’ll try to show you”

It had me wondering what else he had to learn for other movies.

“What else can you do?” I asked, interested.

Taron’s eyes moved between mine “Well I learnt the piano two years ago”

I raised my eyebrows. That was impressive.

“But I can’t really play it” he continued “Actually I started learning to play the guitar but I’m still working on it”

“Oh I’d love to hear something sometime”

Taron smiled “Sure, why not. Can you play an instrument or something?”

I grimaced and shook my head “I’m seriously untalented in that field”

“Sing maybe?” his voice was low.

I pressed my lips together and shook my head “Don’t get my wrong, I love to sing, it just sounds awful”

“It can’t be that bad” Taron laughed.

I felt like we were moving closer to each other on the couch as we talked.

I yawned eventually and when the movie ended, I headed into the bathroom to get ready for bed. I didn’t even have makeup on, so that was a perk. I probably would have been worried what Taron thought of me without it, but given the circumstances he had already seen me without it and acted no different.

My skin tingled thinking about what a fun time we had tonight and how it would evolve over the coming weeks.

I walked into the bedroom when I was ready and moved to lay down under the blanket, laying on my side with my maternity pillow. I was facing Taron’s side of the bed and was waiting for him to return from the bathroom.

I must have fallen asleep when I woke up in the middle of the night because the baby was kicking nonstop.

“Hey” I whispered, “Don’t you want to sleep?”

I moved a bit, adjusting my body and the pillow. I ran my hands over my belly, but she still didn’t stop. It felt like she was knocking against my ribcage and stomach. I tried to do my breathing exercises to calm her down and watched Taron in the dark, laying on his front, his head to my side.

He looked so peaceful asleep, and he had to be tired as hell after sleeping in a chair in the hospital last night.

When my daughter still kept me awake, I tried to sit up to get out of bed.

“Hey” I heard Taron grumble “What’s wrong?”

I sighed “It’s just that she doesn’t stop kicking. Haven’t happened to me before”

Taron rolled around and switched on the bedside lamp. I blinked against the light until I could see him clearly.

And my body was tingling as I looked at him, his hair tousled.

Oh my God.

He sat up too and looked at my belly.

“May I?” he asked as he held out a hand.

I just nodded as I tried to keep my feelings at bay.

His hand touched my belly through the fabric of my maternity PJ’s and I knew that hands would comfort her and keep her safe.

I tried to remember to breathe as I was overrun by feelings.

I felt the kicking soothe a little, as if she was reacting to her dad’s touch.

I gulped.

I didn’t tell Taron because I enjoyed his hand on my belly too much. It lit my body up like switching on a lightbulb. He started to rub small circles into my belly, totally fixated before he started singing quietly.

I was so surprised I just watched him sing to our baby and his voice alone soothed me. So calm, tender and quite honestly – sexy.

_Rock a bye baby on the tree top_

_When the wind blows the cradle will rock_

_When the bough breaks the cradle will fall_

_And down will come baby, cradle and all._

_Hush little girl asleep in your bed_

_You will see fairies dancing in your head_

_There you will snuggle, you’re safe and you’re warm_

_Till the sun rises up and you’ll wake with the dawn._

_Night night pretty girl it’s time for your sleep_

_Hush now no crying, not even a peep,_

_You’re a tired little lady so good and so sweet_

_We’re so lucky you’ve made us complete._

I was at a loss for words. Would this be my life? Listening to Taron singing to the baby?

“I sang that to my sisters all the time” he said quietly.

His eyes travelled up my body until he met my eyes and I was a goner. He was so beautiful and so kind, so humble and so sweet. I didn’t know how to handle it.

“It’s sweet” was all I could say and my voice was trembling.

I never expected something like this to happen.

My chin was trembling as I took him in, a man that seemed to be able to give me everything and more. And right there, I knew we weren’t friends anymore.

We were way past that stage.

“Hey are you all right?” he asked worriedly as he ran his thumb over my chin.

It didn’t soothe me, in fact it did the right opposite.

I shook my head ever so lightly as my eyes moved between his in the dim light. My eyes dropped to his lips which were parted, so full and red. How I wanted to kiss him. He already comforted me as it was, it probably felt like heaven to kiss him, to have his arms around my body even tighter, to let him kiss me senseless.

I gulped and didn’t meet Taron’s eyes.

The room was quiet and neither of us spoke. Should I ask him about his sisters? Where he learnt how to sing like that?

I looked over to him eventually and it was as if he was closer than ever, his eyes fixated on my lips and one hand still on my belly. I shivered and caressed my arm with my hand, covered in goose bumps.

How had we fought this for so long? When it felt so right?

His eyes met mine eventually and I felt like he looked at me with the same expression I looked at him.

Like he wanted to kiss me. And I wanted him to. I felt like every nerve ending in my body was drawn to him, attached to him and that bond would never break.

Because we shared a child. And we always would.

Our baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will they or won' they? ;)


	18. Karaoke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How can two people be so blind, eh?

**Taron**

Days had passed since Milly moved in with me and something felt off. I loved to have her around practically 24/7 but something made me think she didn’t feel the same way.

She looked at me all weirdly. A tiny part inside of me wanted to kiss her. Just grab her by the waist, run my hands over her belly and devour her.

But I couldn’t.

Because she had said she wanted to be friends and I would oblige. She would have to make the first step if she wanted to take things further. I probably overreacted in that situation anyway.

It was hard.

I was running on the treadmill, sweating, as I pushed myself to my physical boundaries. Where would this situation lead us? Would we ever be more than just friends? Friends that shared a child but nothing more?

“You run like you’re running away from something” Richard chuckled on the treadmill next to me.

I was breathing hard as I tried to keep up with the pace and looked over to him, sweat running down my body.

“I guess you could say that”

I finally felt exhausted and started to calm the pace down.

“Want to talk about it?” he asked, calmly.

“Well –“ I let out a breath “The current situation is just really –“

I didn’t even know how to describe it.

“I’m not sure I can ever be just friends with her” I sighed.

“Who said you should be?” Richard asked “You have been looking for that woman for a while”

I nodded. I still couldn’t believe she had been the one who saved me.

I glanced over to him and gave him a look “She said she wants to be friends”

He furrowed his brows “Did she? Do you think she really meant it?”

I chuckled “Well I have to believe what she says. So yes, I think she meant it, because she said it”

Richard laughed “You know women think differently. She may have said it, but not meant it. Maybe she is just afraid to get hurt”

I frowned as I stopped on the treadmill “I wouldn’t hurt her”

“Tell her that. You said her last relationship ended badly and maybe that’s why she acts like that. Or pregnancy hormones, man”

He clapped me on the shoulder as we headed for the showers.

Her last relationship indeed ended badly. Was that what was holding her back?

“Are we still on for tonight?” Richard asked.

I looked at him blinking.

He laughed “You forgot?”

“Ah” I used my towel to wipe the sweat off my face “Karaoke?”

“Yeah” Richard said “Taron, you are totally off your game”

He seemed amused.

I slapped him on the shoulder “You should know what I’m going through”

“Having a baby, yes. But I was sure of the woman I had it with so –“ he paused “I get that things are more complicated for you”

I sighed. I guess you could say that.

“I’ll ask Milly if she wants to come. You’re bringing Sofie, right?”

Richard nodded “Yeah. My mom will look after Nia”

“You’re lucky, mate” I said.

What I would give to have a love he had.

**Milly**

I wish I would get used to living with Taron but I couldn’t. Everything he did was so nice, cute, humble and sexy, I just couldn’t wrap my head around it. I actually didn’t even know what was going on with me, I blamed my pregnancy hormones for it.

I had another birth class today where we were actually talking about giving birth. Taron was at work and I was glad he wasn’t here, because I didn’t really want him around when it actually happened. From what I figured it was… intense. And I didn’t want him to see me like that.

I just hoped I could handle it all on my own.

I glanced over to Poppy and Aaron and she was so happy to have a man by her side who truly loved and supported her.

I already saw my future, raising the child with Taron, but not ever finding the love of my life.

I went to the hospital straight after birth class and they showed me around. We talked possibilities and pain relief. I couldn’t believe we also had to go through contingency plans if the baby turned out sick.

On my way home I just couldn’t calm down. I needed something to distract me. Or someone.

I was surprised to find Taron sitting on the couch when I came in. He instantly got up and pulled me into a hug. I sighed and smiled.

“Hey”

“Hi”

“How was birth class?” he asked.

How did he remember all my appointments?

“It was good” I said, not wanting to get deeper into the topic “How was work?”

He smiled “We wrapped earlier today”

“That’s great” I said.

His green eyes bore into mine. It was just getting worse and worse at this point.

“I totally forgot about tonight” Taron said eventually “Richard and I planned to go sing karaoke after I tried to convince him for weeks” he chuckled.

I shivered at the thought of Taron singing.

“Oh great, have fun” I deadpanned, yet shivered.

“His wife is coming too. I was wondering if –“ he paused, never taking his eyes off mine “if you wanted to come too”

Karaoke? I was a horrible singer. But a possibility to hearing him sing again?

“I’d love to. I just don’t know how long I’ll last” I smiled, glancing at my belly.

Days kept getting more and more exhausting.

“Of course” he put his hand on my shoulders “You tell me and we’ll leave, okay?”

I nodded, at a loss for words. His touch sent my body into overdrive.

“Okay”

I opted for a black maternity dress so I didn’t look any more like an elephant and put a bit more makeup and eyeliner on than usual. It was a night out after all.

I walked out of the bathroom when my eyes landed on Taron, in the middle of buckling his belt. He looked handsome as always, but something about his skinny black jeans and white shirt had me flustered.

He looked up and his eyes lingered on me for a second, before his eyes travelled lower over my body.

I felt like my body was drawn to him like a magnet.

“You’re beautiful” he said quietly when his eyes met mine again.

I smiled “You’re not so bad yourself”

He laughed.

“Shall we go then?”

“Sure”

We took his car over to the bar, because the Tube was off-limits for me at this point. We arrived there and I was getting more and more nervous.

I wasn’t even nervous about Taron’s friend, he had mentioned him ever now and then and I couldn’t wait to meet his wife, Sofie. But something about having a night out with Taron, and knowing I would go home with him later, had me all flustered.

Taron had his hand on my back the whole time and it felt reassuring, but also… hot. We sat down next to each other at one of the round tables and Richard and Sofie arrived a few minutes later.

They were both so beautiful and seemed so at ease with each other. Something I would crave for the rest of my life.

“It’s so nice to meet you” Sofie said to me and we hugged.

“You too” I smiled “I heard you have a daughter?”

Her face lit up “Yes. Nia. She is the most important thing in my life”

“And how could she not be” I smiled

“What are you having?” he asked me.

“A girl” my smile widened.

“Oh, have you chosen a name yet?”

I shrugged “Not yet”

Taron and I would still have to talk about that one.

I glanced over to Taron who was hugging Richard while they clapped each other on the back. His eyes met mine for a split-second and he smiled.

We ordered drinks and I kept drinking water, of course. The others started to loosen up a bit under the alcohol but I noticed Taron barely drank. But he also had to drive.

“Who’s up for karaoke first?” Richard asked.

Taron chuckled “If you ask, it’s you”

We laughed.

They seemed to be such good friends.

Richard got up and held his hand out for his wife.

Sofie smiled at me before she got up and they headed for the stage.

It was as if Taron was sitting closer to me now. Or maybe I hadn’t realised because I had chatted with Sofie the whole time.

They started singing Strangers in the Night by Frank Sinatra and Taron and I cheered them on. They were both really good.

I just hoped Taron wouldn’t convince me to sing with him.

Richard and Sofie came back and sat down again, smiling brightly. They were so in love, and soulmates, it was hard to watch at times.

I looked at Taron, but he got up and held out his hand for me. I glanced at his hand, then at his eyes.

“It’s our turn” he smiled.

I shook my head and laughed “You’re a great singer, but I’m not”

He frowned for a split-second “Come on, you can pick a song”

I knew I couldn’t refuse him anything.

I got up and took his hand, my body tingling as I did.

My head was just empty as he took me to the stage. And there I was, only able to think of Taron and his hand in mine. I chose the one song I could remember from the top of my head. And I felt like slapping myself as I mentally went through the lyrics.

The music started playing and everyone cheered. Taron raised an eyebrow at me and I laughed.

“You wanted me to choose” I laughed.

At least everyone knew that song.

_The club isn't the best place to find a lover  
So the bar is where I go  
Me and my friends at the table doing shots  
Drinking fast and then we talk slow  
Come over and start up a conversation with just me  
And trust me I'll give it a chance now  
Take my hand, stop, put Van the Man on the jukebox  
And then we start to dance, and now I'm singing like_

I had so smile when everyone started to sing along. At least they wouldn’t hear my voice now. But I heard Taron’s.

I glanced at him and he watched me. My skin was heating up and I knew what the lyrics did to me. Taron singing them and being so close to me had a whole different meaning though.

_Girl, you know I want your love  
Your love was handmade for somebody like me  
Come on now, follow my lead  
I may be crazy, don't mind me  
Say, boy, let's not talk too much  
Grab on my waist and put that body on me  
Come on now, follow my lead  
Come, come on now, follow my lead_

_I'm in love with the shape of you  
We push and pull like a magnet do  
Although my heart is falling too  
I'm in love with your body  
And last night you were in my room  
And now my bedsheets smell like you  
Every day discovering something brand new  
I'm in love with your body  
Oh—I—oh—I—oh—I—oh—I  
I'm in love with your body  
Oh—I—oh—I—oh—I—oh—I  
I'm in love with your body  
Oh—I—oh—I—oh—I—oh—I  
I'm in love with your body  
Every day discovering something brand new  
I'm in love with the shape of you_

Taron’s eyes were so intently on mine I couldn’t think straight. It felt like every word he sang had so much meaning. Like he really wanted my love. And I knew I was in love with his body, but not only that. Hell, we barely knew each other. But we did push and pull like a magnet. And I had already fallen for him ages ago.

The song ended and Taron took a step closer to me, our bodies would be flush against each other if it wasn’t for my belly.

My breath hitched as he caressed my cheek and it was as if it was just the two of us. For a second I thought he would kiss me as his eyes dropped to my lips again. And right there I wanted him to. I wanted to feel his lips against mine, his tongue tangling with mine.

Then I realised I had been focused on Taron’s lips only and looked up to meet his eyes. His eyes were dark and narrowed ever so slightly before he pulled me into a hug.

Then they told us to leave the stage and we laughed.

Had we spent so much time on there?

We reached the table and Sofie and Richard looked at us as if they were surprised. Well Taron was a great singer, but it had been clear I wasn’t.

“I told you I can’t sing” I laughed as we sat down again.

I didn’t think I had such a fun night out for ages. But I was starting to be more and more tired and told Taron. He kept his promise and we left soon thereafter.

“That was a fun night” Sofie smiled.

“I hope we meet more often” I said to her

We hugged. She was so nice.

“That would be great” she smiled.

“Hey can I ask you something?” I asked her.

She blinked “Of course” she smiled.

“Did you choose pain relief?” I asked quietly.

She grimaced “I didn’t really have a choice. I was too far dilated to have an epidural”

“Oh yikes” I pressed my teeth together.

“It wasn’t that bad” she laughed “Or I don’t remember correctly. But let me tell you holding your baby in your arms makes up for all the pain”

I still wasn’t convinced “I’m just afraid of so much pain”

“You have your man with you. He can motivate you” she smirked.

I blinked. Did she not know he wasn’t _my_ man?

I pressed my lips together and shook my head “No, I’ll be on my own. I don’t want Taron to witness that”

I felt his hand on my back and jumped. Had he heard what I said?

“Hey” Taron said “Should we get going?” he asked.

Was there a hint in his voice? Or was I overreacting?

“Well call me if I can help you with anything” Sofie said.

“Thanks” I smiled.

We got into his car and I couldn’t get my mind off what had happened tonight. The way Taron had looked at me when we got ready. How we sang together. Why had I chosen that song of all songs? I was all hot and bothered thinking of the lyrics.

Taron put his hand on my knee as we reached a headlight. My eyes shot to his, surprised but also happy he touched me.

His eyes met mine and for a second I thought he would kiss me.

But he didn’t.

“Did you mean what you said?” he asked quietly.

I frowned and then my heart jumped, thinking what he might have heard.

“Meant what?” I still asked.

His eyes met mine again before he focused on the road again

“That you don’t want me there when you give birth”


	19. Insecurities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I kept this as real as possible, because life isn't always beautiful, right?

**Taron**

She let out a breath and I felt like I already had my answer.

“I need to do this on my own” she said quietly, not meeting my eyes.

We reached home, thank fuck, and I parked the car as fast as I could.

“Milly” I sighed “Look at me”

She wouldn’t meet my eyes though. I turned the car and opened the door for her so she had no choice but to look at me.

Her eyes met mine and I could tell she was sad.

She got out of the car and I held on to her arms before she could stop me. There was only her belly between us.

“I know it’s your decision to make, but let me be a part of this”

She sighed “Taron, please”

Her voice was a plea.

Was I pushing too far?

I dropped my hands from her arms.

“I just want to be there for you” I whispered “Let me be there for you”

“I can’t” she sounded pained.

Neither of us spoke as I unlocked the front and flat door and she walked off into the bedroom.

What was even wrong with her? What was wrong with _us_?

But then again, I had to remind myself that there would never be an _us_.

I ran my hand through my hair as I sat down on the couch and waited for her. Waited for her to come to me, talk to me.

But it didn’t happen.

Instead I got a text from Richard

_< <You looked like quite the couple tonight. Hope everything is good>>_

I buried my face in my hands. Was this true? The only thing I knew was that I wanted to kiss the fuck out of her on stage after she chose _that_ song.

I felt drawn to her like a magnet. I had felt this way ever since she saved me.

I wonder if she felt the same way.

_< <Things are weird. I’ll keep you posted>>_

I had been too persistent. I knew I didn’t have a right to be there, I just wanted to support her, hold her hand, tell her everything would be okay.

When I walked into the bedroom she was asleep, her face facing the drawers instead of my side of the bed.

I let out a breath as I walked into the bathroom to brush my teeth.

The next few weeks would be long if she didn’t talk.

Hell, the next years would be tough on us and the baby if she didn’t.

I got up quietly the next day, trying not to wake Milly and got ready for work. I arrived there and was through hair and makeup earlier than expected and that was when I had an idea.

I got my phone from my jeans pocket and dialled.

“Hi darling, how are you?” she answered immediately

“Mom? I need your help”

“What’s wrong? Is there something wrong with the baby?” she sounded worried.

My mom knew the whole story. I had kept her posted, nearly on a daily.

“No, it’s not that. There is something wrong with Milly” I let out a breath “She doesn’t want me there when she… when she has the baby”

“Oh Taron” my mom sighed “That is her decision to make”

“I know that” I said quietly “But she doesn’t let me help her. She doesn’t –“

Why was she fighting our connection so hard?

“She’s probably scared” my mom said “After everything she has been through, and you too”

I frowned.

“What do you mean?”

“She blamed herself for getting you in that accident in the first place. Even though it wasn’t her fault. You’re expecting a child together but you’re no couple. How do you think she feels?”

“How do you think I feel?” I called “Sorry”

“Darling” my mom said knowingly “Tell her how you feel about her”

How did my mom know everything even if I didn’t say the words?

I let out a breath “It’s not that easy”

“I know it isn’t. By the way, did you think about my suggestion that you spend Christmas with us? I would love to meet her”

“I’ll have to ask her” I said “But I don’t have much hope”

**Milly**

I knew I acted childish yesterday. But I had to protect myself. Because after last night, I knew I loved Taron. Hell, I had probably loved him for longer than that. But he didn’t love me back. We would never have what Richard and Sofie had.

And that fact broke my heart.

Because I knew Taron was perfect no matter what.

But I had to protect myself from falling for Taron even harder.

All I wanted was to tell him that I loved him. That I wanted him to be more than just the daddy of my girl.

I woke up to find Taron already gone. He had probably left for work without waking me.

How was this man so perfect?

He hadn’t even argued with my decision.

I spent the day inside, wallowing in self-pity. I knew it was probably the wrong decision, but I tried to not judge myself too much.

My body was craving this. Spending the day on the couch, watching TV, eating junk food.

Christmas was right around the corner and I was all on my own with nobody but Taron. I knew Amanda would be on a ski trip so I couldn’t spend Christmas with her. And I didn’t know if I could spend Christmas with Taron.

Just him and I.

Like a family.

Like a family we never would be. Not in that way at least.

Eventually, I got up and decided to shower and dress. I walked into the kitchen and decided to cook for Taron.

I opted for veggies after eating unhealthy stuff all day.

I heard the door open and close and my heart jumped. Taron used to call “hi” or something but he didn’t now, probably because of after what had happened yesterday.

I walked into the hallway and saw him getting out of his trench coat.

“Hi” I said quietly.

“Hi” Taron answered and looked at me.

He walked towards me and it was as if we were both unsure, but I held out my arms and he pulled me into a hug.

I had missed this.

I had missed him.

“I’m cooking dinner” I said once we had broken apart, my voice sounding strange.

“Great, let me just change into comfy clothes” he said.

I gulped as I walked back into the kitchen, trying to focus on the food.

I heard his footsteps approaching and turned around to find him in his sweatpants in tee, just the usual for him, but my heart skipped a beat every time I saw him like that.

“I wanted to apologise for yesterday” I said once he reached me.

He blinked “You don’t have to apologise. I get that things are –“ he paused “complicated right now”

“Still” I said “I shouldn’t have acted the way I did”

“Don’t worry about it” his voice was soft, understanding “It’s your decision to make. And if you decide –“ he let out a breath “to not have me there then that’s fine with me”

It was as if he was struggling to say the words but he still did.

How was he even real?

I wanted to tell him that it wasn’t about him, that it was just my insecurities and anxiety talking. But I knew it was about him. Because I loved him.

“Thank you for understanding” was what I said instead.

“No worries” Taron smiled.

How would I ever get over him? No man was even close to as perfect as he was.

“Oh, there is something I wanted to ask you” he said then “We don’t need to go, my mom just called and asked”

_We?_

_His mom?_

I blinked “What is it?”

“My mom invited us to spend Christmas in Aber”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this wasn't too depressing. Better days are coming, I promise :)


	20. Aber

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not particularly proud of this one, but it's a transition chapter.  
> Birth coming up soon!

We were in the car on the way to Aber. Never had I heard of Aber before, but it seemed like a huge deal for Taron to spend Christmas there.

He had told me a lot about his childhood there and he seemed as close to his family as I never was. I was looking forward to it, but I was also nervous.

At least I got to celebrate Christmas with not just Taron. Because I didn’t trust myself around him anymore.

My phone pinged and I checked it

_< <Hope you’re good. Let me know if I can help with anything. Sofie xx>>_

I smiled.

I started texting back. I wasn’t great, but I had been worse. Back pain and heartburn were getting worse and at this point I would just be happy to give birth already

_< <I’m good, more or less. I’d love to meet to catch up! xx>>_

Taron was focused on the road and I was glad things had gotten back to normal. Whatever “normal” really was.

“We’re here” Taron announced as he pulled up outside a town house.

“Oh, it’s beautiful” I said.

We got out of the car and Taron took all of our luggage upstairs. It was an old staircase and I already had a hard time getting up there on my own. Well technically, I was two people now.

He showed me around and it was a nice, cosy place. It wasn’t as big as his flat in London but it had more charm to it, it had window sills to sit on, a small kitchen and a cosy bedroom.

“I get why you like it here” I smiled.

I could already see my girl in here. I tried to shake that thought, but I couldn’t.

“Do you?” he almost sounded relieved.

“Yes” I put one hand on his forearm before I could stop myself.

He looked at me for a split-second, as if he knew I was in love with him, before he looked away.

I was just overreacting. Everything would be back to normal once my baby which was a piece of him was out of my body.

“My mom’s place about a short walk from here” he said “Would you want to walk or -?”

I grimaced “Normally I would love to, but at this point…” I looked down to my belly.

The baby was huge. Or at least she felt huge.

“Let’s take the car then” he said.

It was a short car ride and I was so nervous I felt like jumping out of my skin. It was so important what his family thought of me. 

We reached a quiet side street and I saw the front door open.

I recognised his mom immediately, he looked so much like her.

Then I saw Mari and Rosie and my heart almost stopped. They were the cutest little girls ever.

“Hi” Taron waved over to them before he helped me out of the car.

I felt like blushing.

“Hi” I said too

“Welcome!” his mom Tina said “I’m so happy you’re here”

“Me too. Thanks for inviting me” I smiled.

She pulled me into a hug.

“Of course! You’re part of the family now!”

A family of huggers, eh?

Mari and Rosie were a bit shy when they saw me, but Taron leant down to introduce me.

“Girls, that’s Milly. She’s –“ he hesitated for a second and I had to stifle laughing.

Our situation was complicated.

“I’m his friend” I completed the thought for him and leant down to hug them the best I could.

I saw Taron and his mom exchange a glance. Had I said something wrong?

“Come on in everyone” Tina said.

Taron had his hand mere inches from my lower back and I shivered as we walked inside.

His stepdad Steve was cooking in the kitchen.

“Hi Taron, Milly” he walked over to us, first hugging Taron, then me.

I smiled. I wasn’t used to that many hugs.

“Hope you’re hungry” he said.

“I feel like I’m starving” I said before I could stop myself.

“There is nothing wrong with that honey, you’re eating for two” Tina shot me a wink.

That was true.

We sat down at the table and I was sitting next to Taron and his mom. I couldn’t drag my eyes away from Mari though, she looked so much like Taron.

It had me wondering how my girl would look at that age.

I shivered.

She would be so beautiful, just like her dad.

“Will you get married too?” Rosie asked over dinner and I almost choked.

Kids and their honesty. It was brutal.

Taron and I exchanged a glance and my body was heating up with the way he looked at me.

“We won’t” I said quietly

“Don’t you love each other?” Mari asked “And the baby?”

I heard Taron clear his throat “Of course -”

My heart jumped thinking he referred to him loving me.

“- the baby will always come first” he finished his sentence and my smile faltered.

He was right about that. The baby was my everything already.

Taron helped his stepdad clean the dishes and I sat down on the couch next to Tina.

“How are you?” she asked as she put her hand on mine.

I smiled “I’m good. I just feel pretty –“ I let out a breath

“Exhausted?” she asked.

I laughed “Yeah”

It wasn’t just that though.

“How are you dealing with everything? Is all set yet?” she asked “If you don’t mind me asking”

“No, no, it’s fine” I sighed “Yeah I’m due in 6 weeks and I just can’t wait to get her out of there”

I rolled my eyes.

Tina smiled “I get you, believe me”

It had me wondering what her pregnancy with Taron had been like.

“Any advice?” I smiled, grimacing.

She put her hand on my knee, just like her son always did.

“It’s important to have someone there except for the midwife” she said “Someone who supports you, knows you, makes you feel safe”

I shivered at her words. The only person who could do that was Taron.

“I planned to do it on my own, actually” I said quietly.

“It’s your decision to make” Tina said “Just keep in mind that it’s a very emotional and extraordinary experience you might want to share with someone”

I nodded.

“Someone from your family perhaps?” she asked.

I pressed my lips together and shook my head “I’m not close to my family”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. We’re here for you. You are a part of our family now”

I could feel my chin wobbling already. How much I had always wanted to have a family where I could feel safe and loved.

“Thanks” I tried to smile.

Tina pulled me into a hug and I closed my eyes as I could feel tears forming in them.

“Taron is a good man” she whispered.

I sniffled “I know he is”

Maybe too much so.

“Even though I might be biased” she smiled.

I laughed “Maybe. But it’s the truth”

Taron and I drove back to his place in the evening and I felt pretty knackered.

“Hey, are you okay?” Taron asked as he held me to him after I made it up the stairs.

I didn’t feel quite so tired anymore.

“Yeah, I’m just tired” I said.

“We better crash then” Taron’s eyes were so dark in this light “How is she?”

He glanced at my belly.

“I think she’s tired too” I smiled “Hopefully. I don’t want to be up all night”

Not under these circumstances at least.

“Okay, great” his voice was low.

I lay down in bed after having changed in my PJ’s and Taron lay down next to me once he left the bathroom.

“You have a great family” I said quietly.

Taron glanced over to me before putting one arm around to reach his neck. How were his arms so huge?

“Thanks” he smiled “They like you”

I raised my eyebrows “You think?”

He nodded “Yeah. And I like you too”

My heart started racing. Something in his eyes told me there was more meaning to it.

I gulped “Well, I like you too” I smiled.

His eyes stayed on mine but neither of us spoke.

Why was I such a coward? Why could I not tell him I loved him?

“May I?” he asked when he held out his hand.

We were both laying on our sides, facing each other, and his hand was mere inches from my belly.

I nodded “Sure”

His hand touched my belly and even through the shirt I woke, my skin tingled.

“Do you think we should talk about a name?” I asked.

Taron’s eyes travelled higher, from my belly up until he met my eyes.

“I’d love to. I’ve thought about it a lot”

“You have?”

He nodded. “Of course. We can’t just call her ‘our baby’”

I laughed.

But this had been the first time any of us had said ‘Our baby’ out loud.


	21. Contractions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter before she gives birth!

Christmas and New Year flew by and I didn’t know what I would have done without Taron. It felt like he knew just what I was thinking. Except for the fact that I loved him.

I woke up to having cramps in my belly. It was probably just because the baby was growing. I had a hard time getting up though and Taron looked at me worriedly.

I almost forgot all about the pain and kissed him when I looked at his dishevelled hair and crumbled PJ’s.

“Are you okay?” he asked worriedly.

“I’m fine” I said “I’m just –“

I let out a breath.

“I feel like a whale”

Taron smiled “But a very pretty whale”

I smiled. I was happy he tried to cheer me up but there was no denying I was huge.

I was happy to meet Sofie again. We would meet up and Attendant Fitzrovia, a coffee bar near Oxford Circus. Taron insisted on driving me before he would go grocery shopping, so I didn’t have to take the Tube.

“Thank you” I smiled as I got out of the car

“See you later, have fun” Taron blew me a kiss.

My legs were weak as I walked into the café, and I knew that had nothing to do with the baby. That was all Taron.

Sofie was already waiting for me when I arrived.

“It’s so good to see you” I smiled.

“You too” we hugged “Look at you, you’re glowing”

I sighed as I sat down “I don’t feel like I’m glowing. I feel like a whale. And whenever she moves or kicks I feel like my heart stops."

Sofie’s smile widened “That’s totally normal. How long do you have left?”

“2 weeks” I whined. “I hope she won’t be late”

“Well Nia was a bit late, babies never arrive on the scheduled date” she smiled “But it took them too long for an epidural in my case. But luckily all was good and it was just 10 hours in total”

I gaped. I had heard it could be long but –

“Just 10 hours?”

Sofie nodded “Yeah. I heard some women are in labour for days”

I frowned and felt my body shaking. I wouldn’t survive that.

“Oh don’t worry about that” she placed her hand on mine “I’m sure you’ll be fine!”

I laughed nervously “Well I hope so”

“Did you choose a name yet?” she wriggled her eyebrows.

I smiled “We did. But we’ll keep it a secret till she’s here” I ran my hand over my belly.

It felt like bad luck to tell people already.

“I understand that. I’m sure it’s a beautiful name, just like her” she smiled.

I smiled. I couldn’t wait to hold her in my arms.

“Anything else you think I should know about?” I asked

“Well there are some things nobody told me in advance, but I don’t want to scare you”

“Please” I pleaded “I need the truth”

“Well –“ she let out a breath “Things might not work as planned. But just know that there are people there to help you. Also your man…” she looked at me.

I shrugged “I haven’t decided yet. I heard that for men watching their women giving birth is like seeing their favourite pub burn down”

Sofie threw her head back laughing “I have never heard of that one before”

“Look” she was all serious now “That might be true. But the right man will want to do it for you and the baby. To be part of the experience just like he is a part of the baby”

“Did Richard come with you?”

Sofie nodded “He did. And I’m not sure I wouldn’t have made it without him”

“Well you two have an epic romance”

Sofie smiled “Everyone finds a lid to their pot. And looking at you and Taron the other night, you two belong together”

I shrugged as I could feel myself blushing “I don’t think so”

“Well you can also decide then and there” she said “You might change your mind”

“Yeah I guess I’ll have to wait and see”

Hopefully not wait to long.

“Should we order?” she asked.

“Sure. I feel like I’m starving” I winced slightly when I felt the cramps again.

I ordered a tea and muffin while Sofie decided on a full breakfast.

“I fed Nia this morning and I feel like I’m starving” she explained.

I laughed “How is she?”

Sofie’s eyes started sparkling. I wondered if I would look the same when our baby arrived.

“She’s the cutest little thing” she said “But don’t let that fool you” she laughed.

“How did you handle that?” I asked “In the beginning, I mean?”

Sofie took a sip of her coffee “We had no clue to be honest. They just let us go home with her the next day and we were standing there with no idea what to do with her”

I laughed “Really?”

“Really” she stated “But it all comes really natural. Try not to stress too much. You’re her mom and you’ll figure it out”

I nodded. “Okay”

I winced again when I felt the pain. I tried to breathe but I felt like the cramps were getting worse.

“I’m sorry” I apologised “I have to pee really bad”

“Of course” Sofie said “That happened to me all the time”

I walked towards the toilets and once I was there I realised my panties were damp.

Wait, that couldn’t…?

Could it?

I walked back to the table shaking.

Sofie knew something was up when she looked at me.

“What’s wrong?” she frowned.

“I… I –“ I let out a breath “I think my water just broke”

“Really?” she asked “Are you having contractions yet?”

I shook my head as I sat down again “No. I just had a few cramps but that was –“

Another cramp hit me and it only got worse. I closed my eyes and tried to relax.

Sofie looked at me knowingly when I opened my eyes again.

“That, my dear –“ she said “That are contractions”

“What?” I felt the blood drain from my face.

“But – but it’s too early”

“You said it’s two more weeks right?” she asked.

I nodded and pressed my lips together.

“That should be fine”

“Should be?” I asked as I was starting to sweat.

She got up and got a few bills from her wallet, dropping them on the table.

“We should get you to the hospital”

**Taron**

I had been grocery shopping and had something special planned. Actually, I was at the jeweller and picked out a tiny baby bracelet.

“Is it possible to engrave it?” I asked as I looked at the tiny silver thing.

“Of course. What would you like to have on it?”

I had planned to put our baby’s name on it.

We could add the birth date once she was there.

“That’s very beautiful” the jeweller said “It will be ready until tomorrow”

“Perfect, thank you” I smiled.

I paid and left the shop.

I still couldn’t believe Milly and I seemed to have the same taste in everything, also names.

I got into my car before checking my phone. I had three missed calls and a text.

_< <This is Sofie texting from Milly’s phone. She is in labour at the hospital. You should come asap>>_

_< <Oh and bring her hospital bag>>_

Oh shit.

All my blood drained from my face as I put the car in gear and drove through the city as fast as I could. I had to go back home to grab the bag, before heading for the hospital.

I was relieved once I had the bag. Only I got stuck in a traffic jam on Bayswater Road.

“Oh fuck this” I yelled “Oh come on now”

I couldn’t believe I would be late to the birth of my baby.

Our baby.


	22. Birth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The baby finally arrives.  
> This whole chapter features stages of labour from beginning to end. I did a lot of research and wrote this for hours, so I hope I did well.

“Tell me why I chose to keep the baby?” I hissed.

Sofie and I were at the hospital, she was quite the pro and pretty calm but I wasn’t. A doctor had already done an ultrasound to see the baby had turned. The contractions were getting worse. I was squirming in that hospital bed with nothing on but a hospital gown.

“Because you love her” she said softly.

I glanced over to her and tried to breathe.

“At least these breathing exercises were good for something” I laughed, then winced when my belly hurt.

Sofie looked at me worriedly, understandingly.

A woman in her 40’s walked in and I sighed in relief.

“Hi Milly, I’m Rachel, your midwife. How are you feeling?” she asked calmly.

“Hi” We shook hands.

How was everyone so calm?

“My belly really hurts” I said, trying to remain calm.

“Let’s see how far dilated you are, okay?” she was so kind.

I nodded and whimpered when I felt another contraction hit.

“You’re dilated at 6 centimetres, that is really good” she smiled.

Why did she smile?

My legs were feeling numb and I felt sick so I didn’t feel like smiling.

“We will place a monitor on your abdomen so we can check how far apart the contractions are and we can hear the baby’s heartrate” she said.

I nodded.

They put it on and I was somehow relieved to hear the baby’s heartbeat.

“Is she fine?” I asked.

The heartbeat was quicker than I remembered from the ultrasound.

Rachel smiled and nodded as she placed an intravenous line into my arm.

“She’s ready to come out” she said “Now we just have to get her out”

I felt another contraction and let out a breath.

“Deep breath in, deep breath out” Sofie whispered next to me.

I tried but the contractions were getting stronger.

“Can I push?” I asked.

“No, that’s too early” Rachel said “We have to wait till you’re at 10 centimetres dilated”

“My back hurts though” I whimpered.

How would I survive this?

“You could have a bath” Rachel suggested “It helps you and the baby to relax”

I nodded “Okay”

The water did in fact soothe me unlike I would have imagined. They dimmed the light a little and I started to relax.

The contractions were eventually getting worse and closer to each other though and I had to lay down again.

I was starting to sweat.

“I can’t believe this” I groaned.

Rachel had another look “We’re at 8 centimetres now”

I raised my eyebrows “Only?”

I felt like I had been here all day

“What time is it?”

“It’s 2 PM now” Sofie said.

We had arrived at the hospital in the morning.

My brows furrowed and my jaw clenched when I felt another contraction, like somebody put a steel band around my waist and squeezed. Tight.

I used the breathing exercises and then I thought of him.

Taron.

“Where is Taron?” I breathed out.

Sofie checked her phone “He’s on his way. He should be here soon”

I closed my eyes in exhale.

I wanted him here. I needed him here.

The whole process felt like ages. But Rachel told me I was lucky, because I already was so far dilated. I didn’t feel quite so lucky though.

I tried to relax thinking of Taron and the baby. I would love this family, no matter what kind of family we would be.

That was if I survived this.

“Can I get an epidural?” I asked.

I was ready for that pain relief.

“If we inject it now, it might wear off until you’re in active labour” Rachel said.

“You can still get up, walk around” she said “Or have a massage?”

“I’ll try to walk around a bit” I breathed out.

“Okay”

Sofie and Rachel helped me out of bed and I was wobbly on my feet. But I felt like walking around a bit helped. They helped me put on panties including a pad, because I was bleeding.

“How had nobody told me this?” I said calmly, simply shook at what happened to my body.

Sofie smiled “Nobody told me either. But it’s no big deal”

She caressed my back a bit and I was thankful.

The door opened and closed and there he was.

Taron.

“Taron” I exhaled when I saw him.

I was so relived he was here.

He was out of breath. Had he run here? He was still in the clothes from this morning.

Suddenly all I could see was him, the pain was gone as he walked towards me, looking at me in my hospital gown.

My belly fluttered when he reached me and I groaned when I felt the pain.

Worry was written all over his features. His eyes stayed on mine as he cupped my cheek and I sighed.

“How are you?”

I smiled “Have been better”

Slowly and carefully, he wrapped his arms around my body and his hug soothed me unlike anything I had tried the whole time without him.

“We will hold our baby in our arms soon” he whispered as his hand ran over my back “I’m so proud of you already”

I sniffled once we broke apart and smiled.

My smile faded when I felt my belly squeeze painfully and my back hurt.

Rachel helped me to lay down again and Sofie squeezed my hand before vacating her seat to Taron.

“You can do this. I know you can” she said.

I nodded “Thank you. I don’t know what I would have done without you”

Taron took one of my hands in both of his and kissed my palm. Rachel checked the cervix and Taron seemed confused as hell.

“You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to” I breathed out as I looked at him.

His eyes met mine, full of determination “I want to stay. If you want me to”

I nodded and panted when another contraction hit.

“I want you here” my voice was strained.

“You’re almost there” Rachel said “You should be able to start pushing soon”

I wriggled in bed, trying to get rid of the pain but there was no having it.

Taron was all I saw. And his hand in mine was all I felt.

Until I felt a contraction hit unlike anything I had felt before.

Tears formed in my eyes from the pain and I panted.

“This feels like hell” I cried.

“I – I need an epidural NOW” I called.

Rachel looked at me and I was starting to worry.

“You’re in labour now. Your contractions are too constant to get an epidural. It might be quicker this way”

I scrunched my eyes shut. Giving birth without pain relief?

I had thought about it, but it hadn’t been part of my plan.

I nodded “Okay”

I wanted to have our baby as soon as possible.

“You’re so brave” I felt Taron whisper as he cupped my arm.

I smiled at him while I felt at ease for a split-second “I might scream at you”

“I think I can take it, while you’re going through… that” he still looked worried.

Rachel spoke “Okay Milly, I will tell you when to push, all right? Let me know if you have any irregular pain or feel the need to push at other times too.”

I nodded, breathing hard. I was scared.

“Try to relax the best you can” she said “I know it is hard, but it will make giving birth smoother and quicker”

“Okay” I breathed out.

Taron held my hand and I glanced over to him. He smiled but it didn’t meet his eyes. He was worried as hell.

“You can do this” he whispered.

I felt a contraction reach full force and I panted.

“And push” Rachel called.

I pushed as heavily as I could, feeling like my body was split in half. Pain raced through my body unlike anything I had felt before. I let out a breath once that contraction subsided.

“That was very good” Rachel said.

I smiled, thankful she cheered me up, yet I felt like crying.

“A few more of those and you can hold your baby”

Tears formed my eyes at that thought. But the breath was stolen out of my lungs when another wave hit me.

I pushed as hard as I could. I felt lightheaded.

Taron squeezed my hand and I glanced over to him. His brows were furrowed and his eyes a little wet.

“You’re doing great” he whispered, caressing my cheek.

I felt like I was doing that for days and I couldn’t believe I was squeezing a human out of me. I even had an episiotomy but I was too far gone to care.

Taron was by my side the whole time, and I didn’t know what I would have done without him.

“I’m so glad you’re here” I cried.

I was starting to lose my shit. I was tired and I wanted to sleep.

He used a wet cloth to wipe the sweat out of my face.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way” his voice was trembling too.

I pushed again and Taron was all I saw. The family we always would be. The baby we would always share. I didn’t need anyone else in my life but these two humans.

“I can see the head” Rachel called and I closed my eyes in relief.

“One more push and you’ll have your baby” she smiled.

I groaned and gave it my best shot, pushing unlike anything before. But I was starting to get weaker and weaker. The pain wore me out.

I panted.

“She’s almost there” Rachel said “The next pushes can be more gently”

I nodded and sighed “Okay”

I pushed again, more gently this time and squeezed my hand in Taron’s.

I felt an odd pulling sensation and opened my eyes in surprise.

Then I heard a gurgling groaning crying sound and started crying when I realised that was it. The baby was here.

“There is your baby” Rachel smiled “We will check her breathing really quick”

I glanced over at Taron, sighing in relief. His eyes were on mine, full of tears as he smiled unlike anything I had seen before. His eyes were full of love, relief and worry for the baby.

“Our baby” he whispered.

He reached up and caressed a tear from my cheek I hadn’t even realised had fallen.

Rachel carried her over then, wrapped in a blanket “Here is your happy, healthy baby”

New tears formed in my eyes as she lay her down on my chest, skin against skin before she covered us with a warm blanket. Our baby stopped crying as soon as she lay on my chest.

I couldn’t drag my eyes away from that little bundle of human, moving ever so slightly.

That tiny human had been inside of me for so long, and now she was here.

My smile had never been so bright as I put my hand on her little body. I glanced over at Taron who was focused on the baby and put his hand on mine.

Like in that birth class all these weeks ago we intertwined our fingers on top of each other. Now only she wasn’t inside my body anymore. It was an odd feeling.

I glanced at our fingers before I met his eyes again. His eyes were incredibly green and full of tears of his own.

He leant in closer, our foreheads resting against each other as we forgot the world around us. It was just the three of us now and that would always be enough.

We were finally breathing the same air, both smiling brightly.

“You make me the happiest man alive” Taron whispered.

I smiled as he caressed his cheek “I couldn’t have done it without you”

Our smiles faded when his lips dropped to mine. Both our lips were soft and salty from the tears. It felt like coming home after all this time.

I couldn’t even remember the pain I had been in. Or that my lower body was quite literally a mess.

All I could see and feel was our baby and Taron.

Our lips broke apart when our baby stirred and we both focused on her, drawn in by her little body, the sounds she made, and how much we worried about her, forever from now on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think.  
> If you're a doctor or a midwife or have experienced this yourself, let me know what your experiences have been!


	23. Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter includes the journey right after birth. Hope you enjoy!  
> I tried to keep it as realistic as possible!

**Taron**

I was officially the happiest man alive. I watched my two women together and I still couldn’t quite believe it. It felt like an out of the body experience and I wondered if it would ever feel real.

That kiss had taken me by surprise, even if I had been the one who kissed her. We had been caught up in the moment and after all these hours we had both been so relieved to hold our baby.

But I also knew I would fight for Milly and our baby. Because I needed them in my life, now more than ever, and I wanted us to be a real family.

They let me cut the cord and I was shaking, afraid to do something wrong. I wiped the tears out of my eyes before I did, focusing hard.

“She looks so much like you” Milly smiled at me.

It was as if we stepped into a whole new reality now.

I looked at her and our baby. Her tiny fingers, her little face. But I didn’t see it. She much rather looked like her mom.

“She looks like you” I smiled.

We were so focused on our baby that when they asked Milly to push again, I was genuinely surprised. She delivered the placenta but we were more focused on the baby than anything else. Milly seemed to not be in a lot of pain and I was so happy. Because I had been scared shitless earlier and I had tried to keep it together for her.

Our girl headed for one of Milly’s breasts and I watched in awe as Rachel helped Milly adjust and attached her.

That tiny human started sucking and Milly giggled.

“It’s tingling”

I smiled, still in awe. This was incredible. Our daughter was incredible.

“Have you chosen a name yet?” Rachel asked.

Milly and I looked at each other and I knew we were still on the same page.

“Louisa”

**Milly**

Time seemed to fly and I wasn’t even tired. Not anymore. I wanted to spend as much time with my family as possible. I had a hard time when they took Louisa to weigh and clean her, before they dressed her.

Taron was with them while a doctor stitched me up.

“Can I get up?” I asked.

“Wait a bit until the local anaesthetic wears off. Should be around 15 minutes”

“Okay thanks” I smiled.

I couldn’t wait to get up and walk.

Taron came back with our daughter in his arms and I felt my ovaries exploding right there. Or maybe that was just the pain meds talking.

He oh so carefully lay her down on my chest again and sat down next to me.

I smiled at him.

We had to transfer to our private room as soon as I was ready and I had a hard time separating from my girl, even though she was in the bassinet next to my wheelchair.

I let out a sigh when we reached our room. Taron had insisted on paying for it and I thought 100 pounds per night were reasonable. If all was well, we could leave tomorrow.

I felt like Taron and I stared at Lou for hours, even though it was only minutes. He had his arm around my waist as I sat on the couch and enjoyed that moment. I started to tear up as it all hit me really bad.

“Hey” Taron whispered as he caressed my tear away “What’s wrong?”

I sniffled and he handed me a tissue “I don’t know. The feelings just hit me after everything that happened”

“You did well” I glanced at Taron and he smiled “And we’re a family now”

Did he really think that?

“Thank you” I smiled back and for a split-second I didn’t focus on our baby.

I focused on Taron and how close we had grown after I had gotten through labour. I wanted to kiss him, it made me feel like I was right where I belonged.

My eyes dropped to his lips and his arms around my waist tightened ever so carefully before the door opened.

Rachel walked in and gave me a few more tips. I was all back to mom mode.

She asked me to drink a lot of water because I had lost blood and not have a look at my pee because it would be blood. But that was totally normal.

She helped me clean up and change into my PJ’s. I was hyper-aware that Taron had to see all of this, but he didn’t seem to mind in the slightest. The sanitary pads were pure heaven. They kept the area cool and absorbed everything.

Taron was still sitting on the couch, while he held our baby. She was so tiny in his arms and I felt my heart exploding.

I was so insanely happy, even given the circumstances of pain and blood loss.

Since it was past midnight we tried to sleep and put Louisa in her bassinet which was right next to my bed and Taron’s couch.

I slept a few hours before I felt incredibly awake. I couldn’t even go back to sleep while Taron slept like a dead person. I rolled around and glanced at Lou. I just couldn’t stop looking at my daughter.

Lou wasn’t having sleep either. She woke up every two hours. I fumbled to hold her, but she wouldn’t latch on. I called a nurse and she helped me but next time, I still couldn’t do it.

I felt defeated. Was it me?

I ringed a nurse every few hours and with all their help, I managed to get a swing of it eventually.

Never in a million years would I have thought it was this hard.

Taron helped me hold her when she cried and he somehow soothed her. I watched him with our girl, still in yesterday’s clothes, his hair dishevelled and the bags under his eyes darkening.

I couldn’t believe how lucky I was.

I felt like a train had run over my body the next day. I looked at Taron who barely slept too. The only difference was, he was still handsome as hell. It was quite distracting, but my daughter was my top priority now.

I had ruined my PJ’s with blood but I was too focused on caring for the baby. I wondered why nobody had told me to bring clothes nobody gave a shit about.

Taron still called a nurse because he was worried, but she said it was totally normal.

I got up slowly, while Taron wrapped his arms around my body. My muscles were aching from all the pushing the day before and I sighed.

He still had his arms around me even when I was standing and I smiled up at him.

“That’s a journey, eh?”

“And we’re in this together” he said quietly as he cupped my face in his hands.

“Always” his voice held so much meaning I shivered.

I couldn’t handle the way he looked at me every time since birth. It gave me goose bumps. Something had changed now that Lou was here and we had kissed.

It had felt so natural and so good with everything being surreal around us. We still had each other and experienced this crazy journey together. We had each other to hold on to. And I wanted to kiss him again.

My body was a rollercoaster of emotions as I let go of him and glanced at Lou in the bassinet, sleeping peacefully.

The good thing was I was allowed to shower now and I felt better. It would just take some getting used to, seeing my body how it looked now. I had expected to look different, to lose more weight right away. I had lost Lou’s body weight, but my belly was still huge.

I ran my hands over my body, trying to worship my body how it was now and what it had been capable of, but it was hard.

Why did I almost look like right before giving birth? My belly was huge.

I got dressed and put my hair in a bun, feeling fresh as a daisy.

At least that was good.

We saw a doctor soon thereafter and he examined me and Lou. He was happy to release us and there we stood, ready to head home.

“I’m scared” I whispered once Taron and I were alone.

“We can do this together” he whispered back, caressing my cheek again.

How would I handle everything without having a call button to call a nurse?

“I know” I sighed “I’m just –“

It felt like so much responsibility to handle.

“We love her. And we will do our best. There is nothing more we can do” he said.

I glanced at him and his eyes were full of love, hope and determination.

I knew we would get through this together after we got through everything life had thrown our way before.

Because we were stronger together.


	24. Daddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And they're home with their baby.  
> And Taron loves some skin on skin contact with his daughter

The ride home from the hospital was quiet. Lou was asleep and I was deep in thought about what would be next. I felt like my emotions were a mess.

I wondered what Taron thought we were to each other. Were we lovers now?

We arrived at his place and I had even more questions. We had talked about me staying there for a while, but not forever. Only until I would find my own place. Where would that lead us?

I took the infant carrier from the car and watched Lou who was still sleeping. Taron took my bag and the rest of our things and we headed upstairs.

“Do you think we should lay her down?” Taron asked once we reached his hallway.

“I think she’ll probably wake up soon because she is hungry” I glanced at my watch.

I last fed her almost two hours ago.

Taron nodded. He seemed nervous. I couldn’t believe he was still in his clothes from yesterday. But he didn’t seem to mind and neither did I.

Yet I wanted to give him some time to care for himself.

“Do you want to take a shower?” I asked “I’ll handle everything here. Maybe you can help me put her down after I fed her?”

Taron raised his eyebrows at me and smiled “Do I look that awful?”

I laughed “No, you don’t”

In fact, I felt like he was more beautiful than ever.

“All right” he smiled “I’ll be right back”

He looked at us over his shoulder before he disappeared into the bathroom.

As if on cue Lou started stirring. She slowly moved her hands to her mouth and started sucking. I had learnt that was a sign she was hungry.

I could watch her for hours. She was the cutest little thing.

And thinking about how my body created and grew her was such a surreal thing.

I picked her up from the carrier and swayed her in my arms as I walked to her room. She opened her eyes and looked at me.

Her eyes were green with a hint of brown, so similar to Taron’s eyes. I prayed she would keep that eye colour. It would always be a reminder of her dad.

I stared back at her as I lightly caressed her head and we sat down in one of the lounge chairs together.

“Look at your room, Lou” I whispered. “That’s all for you. Your daddy made it for you”

I looked around the room and was still as happy as I was when Taron first showed it to me. It was every girl’s fantasy. I really hoped Lou would love it as much as I did and I was sure she would.

For now, she just cared about sleep and feeding.

And I had no sleep and felt like a milk farm.

It was worth it though. Every split-second I spent with her seemed to last a lifetime.

I latched her on and I could feel her starting to suck. She felt comfortable and I could hear and see her swallowing. I lay my head back against the lounge chair and tried to relax. I still had to get used to this. I was having contractions while feeding her, it helped my uterus to shrink down.

I had read a lot about how Lou and I would both have to get used to it. And my nipples definitely weren’t used to all that sucking. They felt sore and it had me worrying I did something wrong.

I still couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that the baby had grown inside of me for so long and now she was here. I missed her kicking, at least in the early stages of pregnancy, but I loved to have her in my arms.

I looked up and found Taron leaning in the door way, in his grey sweatpants and white tee I loved so much, his hair damp.

I gulped. How long had he been standing there?

It only felt like a few minutes since I had started feeding Lou.

“Hey” I smiled

He walked towards us slowly and sat down on the couch next to the chair I was sitting on.

“How is she doing?” he asked quietly.

“She’s thirsty” I smiled.

Then she stopped sucking and pulled away before I could hear her sigh ever so quietly.

I fixed my nursing bra and shirt.

“Apparently she is done” I whispered as I caressed her.

I looked over to Taron to find him watching her.

“Do you want to hold her?” I asked.

Taron blinked and nodded. I didn’t know why he was nervous, he had held her a few times already. He was a natural.

I carefully handed her over to him and got up to get to towel.

But it was too late already.

Lou burped and spit bits of milk on Taron’s shoulder.

On his white shirt.

“Oh shit” he laughed.

“Language” I smiled.

Taron met my eyes and didn’t even seem to care his daughter just ruined his shirt.

“Do you think I could –“ he paused “get skin on skin contact with her?”

“You know since I have to get out of my shirt anyway” he chuckled.

“Of course” I said quickly “Whatever you feel is right, I’m sure is good for your daughter”

His eyes met mine again and something in his expression changed. The fun was gone, replaced by love.

“You know nobody called her my daughter since –“

Since she had been born.

I smiled “I know”

But he was officially a dad now. And he always would be.

I took her from him and cuddled her against my body as I watched Taron get out of his shirt. Holy hell, I felt like the floor was spinning as I glanced at his bare chest.

These muscles.

That chest hair.

I had to gulp or I would have started drooling.

I took Lou over to the changing table and undressed her, except for her diaper.

I could feel Taron standing next to me and I could barely catch my breath.

“How do you know what to do?” he asked.

I shrugged “I guess it comes natural”

I didn’t find it hard to dress and undress her at this point.

I stepped to the side a bit so Taron could pick her up. I watched his strong arms as he held her to his chest. I tried to put not too much attention to her against his bare chest.

My daughter and her daddy.

I focused on folding Lou’s clothes even though there wasn’t much to fold as I could hear Taron whispering sweet things to our daughter.

My knees were getting weaker.

Then I had the courage to look over to them, Taron leaning back in the lounge chair with our daughter on his chest. It was how it was meant to be.

“Do you… uhm” I gulped “Do you want a blanket?”

I could tell Taron had a hard time dragging his eyes away from his daughter and looked up to me, frowning.

“Do you think she needs one?”

“Is she cold?” I asked.

He ran his hand over her tiny body and my brain thought it would be great to have a day dream about him running his hands over my body instead.

What was my deal?

“I think a blanket would be better” Taron said.

I got one from the dresser and unfolded it, laying it over them.

The corners of his mouth curved upwards. How beautiful, red and full his lips were.

“Thanks” he said absentmindly as he focused on his daughter again.

I plumped down on the couch, at a loss as I watched them.

My family.

Or whatever we were exactly.

“I think she’s sleepy” Taron said eventually.

I took her from him to lay her down on the changing table and showed Taron how to change her diaper and dress her.

“You’re a natural” I smiled once Lou was in a fresh onesie and her baby sleeping bag.

“How do I lay her down?” he asked worriedly as he held her.

I smiled “One hand under her head and one under her back”

He did what I said and softly and slowly lay her down in her cot, as if he was afraid to hurt her.

We both watched Lou as she stirred slightly before continuing to sleep.

Eat. Sleep. Poop. Repeat.

What a life.

I smiled.

Taron turned towards me and only then I realised he still had no shirt on.

“You’re a great mom” he whispered.

My eyes met his and I could feel tears filling my eyes.

How was I so emotional lately?

“Thanks” I smiled, trying to keep the tears at bay.

Taron took a step closer “I mean it”

He caressed my cheek.

I let out a breath. I just couldn’t resist him.

Not anymore. Not after I saw him with our daughter like that.

I gulped “Should we talk about – about what happened?” I asked quietly.

Taron frowned “What do you mean?”

I looked down, not seeing my shoes because my belly was still huge “That kiss”

“Milly” he sighed my name.

And I shivered.

I felt his hand under my chin and he forced me to look up at him.

I was falling so hard for him when I did, his eyes full of love and worry.

“I want us to be a family. A real family”

I couldn’t catch my breath.

“What do you mean?”

I needed to know. I needed to know the truth.

He shrugged lightly “That kiss was natural. And overdue”

I was drowning in his eyes and I couldn’t agree more.

“I have felt this way for a while and seeing you being that strong woman you are, delivering our daughter and the way you care for her now –“ he gulped.

He stole the air from my lungs. I didn’t even realise I was still breathing.

“What do you say?” his voice was quivering.

I kept staring into his eyes when his brows furrowed. His eyes were so green in this light.

Did he really doubt I wouldn’t want what he wanted?

I wanted nothing more.

I smiled “I want us to be a real family. Hell, I want nothing more”

Taron smirked “Language”

I smiled back and he put his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him. My body met his and I was so relieved.

I was home. With my family. Literally and figurately.

Taron cupped my face in his hands and my breath hitched.

We stared at each other for a while and neither of us moved. And I knew that was the moment I fell for him all the way.

I had loved him before, but this – knowing he felt the same way and he wanted this as badly as I did – had my body going into overdrive.

“I want to kiss you again” I breathed out.

He closed his eyes in a long blink before he answered “Then kiss me”

I leant in to him ever so slowly, afraid, but he closed the distance between us.

This time there was no hesitation and no distraction. He pulled me even closer and my hands went around his neck as our lips moved against each other.

I felt dizzy as we both poured all the pend up love into the kiss. His hand went through my hair and I sighed as my hands travelled down his back.

I opened my mouth and his tongue pushed in without any hesitation.

This felt so good. I could feel my knees giving in but Taron held me upright.

I moaned against his lips and I could hear him groaning.

We both needed this.

And we finally were where we both belonged.


	25. Progress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaand after birth life continues... and we get the hang of it

Taron and I were pretty deprived of sleep over the next few days. I had never been more emotional. We were too caught up to have visitors, we sent everyone photos and they were all glad we were fine.

We enjoyed our alone time for as long as it would last, and we were quite busy anyway. I couldn’t even imagine what parents of twins had to go through. His mom answered all our calls whenever we had questions and we skyped quite often.

I felt incredibly emotional about everything. I had read it would happen, called “baby blues”, but it still hit me with full force. Sometimes, I was crying from one moment to the next. Breast feeding didn’t work as it should and the cramps while feeding were awful. I was still bleeding and I was pretty unhappy with my body even if Taron told me otherwise.

I felt like giving birth ruined my body and my sexuality.

I loved kissing Taron and it sent my body into overdrive whenever Lou gave us a chance to do that. I didn’t even want to take things further though - we weren’t allowed anyway - but at this point I wasn’t sure I could ever have sex again. That was something I couldn’t discuss with Taron. Because it was just too personal and he wouldn’t understand.

We put Lou’s cot in our room because I just couldn’t have her that far away. Even if it was right next door. But she had been inside of me for so long and sometimes I was scared she was gone when I ran my hand over my belly.

But having her in the same room also came in handy when I had to feed her every few hours. Taron was the best, often enough he got up instead of me and lay our daughter down next to me so I could feed her that way without getting up. I couldn’t even remember how often Taron had seen my bare breasts, but he didn’t seem to mind or even pay close attention to them. It had me wondering if my sex appeal had flown out the window.

I felt like a cow after my milk came in, and my breasts were about to burst.

“Just imagine what your body was capable of” he whispered when we lay in bed at night, our daughter laying between us.

I felt like my life was complete with them by my side.

“Yeah but look at my body now” I said sadly.

“You are beautiful” he whispered back.

I smiled lightly. I was happy he liked how I looked but he just couldn’t understand.

“She is beautiful” I whispered as I ran a hand over her belly “Just like you”

Taron chuckled “You are beautiful” he repeated.

I was glad Taron was off work for two weeks, so he could help me. He wanted to be off work longer, but his shooting schedule didn’t allow it and I encouraged him. It would only be a few weeks until he would wrap up shooting anyway.

I saw him off the day he had to go back to work, with our daughter in my arms. I could see him struggling to leave us.

“We will still be here when you come back” I smiled, looking down at Lou in my arms.

He smiled half-heartedly before he gave me a quick kiss on the lips and kissed our girl on the head.

“See you later”

**Taron**

I felt like a hole had been ripped into my life as I got to work. I was missing them so much. We had spent the last two weeks together 24/7 and even though it was physically and emotionally draining, it had been the best time of my life.

I could barely focus on work. Hell, I barely remembered my name. All I could think about was my family.

Once we had a short break, I decided to text instead of phone Milly, in case they were both sleeping. She didn’t reply so I decided to call Richard.

“Hey man, how are things?” he answered.

I chuckled. It felt good to hear his voice again “I’m fine. Back to work the first day”

“Oh” I could hear him on the other end of the line “Are you okay?”

I shrugged. I didn’t feel okay “I miss them so much”

“That’s normal. Especially the first few weeks are tough”

“How did you get through it?” I asked him.

“I never did” he laughed “I miss them insanely much when I’m not home. Every time I get home in the evening, I feel like I missed something. Like Nia started crawling the other day and I wasn’t there”

That had me thinking.

“How is Louisa?” he asked.

I smiled “She’s perfect, Rich”

I loved her more than I loved myself.

“How is Milly holding up?”

“I’m not sure to be honest. She doesn’t seem totally fine. Says she hates her body. I don’t really know what to do so that she feels better about herself”

“Just imagine what she had to go through” he said “Now that Nia is a year old Sofie told me she struggled because of all of the bleeding in the beginning, the pain and cramps and all that stuff”

I just wished I could help her.

“So there is nothing I can do to help?” I asked.

“Did you tell her you love her yet?” he chuckled “I’m sure that helps”

I smiled. He didn’t even know we were together yet.

“We will be a real family” I said excitedly “And we kiss every second we get to each other”

“I’m happy for you, mate” Richard said.

I just couldn’t imagine my life without my girls anymore.

**A few weeks later – Taron**

I drove home that day and I was so relieved about the decision I had made. And I couldn’t wait to tell Milly. I quietly opened the door in case they were sleeping.

Milly walked out of our bedroom and smiled when she saw me. I could tell she was already losing weight and I loved her curves so much. I wondered why she struggled with her self-confidence.

“Hey” I said

“Hi”

Why did I feel nervous?

“How is she?” I asked.

Milly grinned “She’s asleep”

She reached me and I pulled her into a tight hug.

“Does that mean –“ I whispered before we broke apart and I looked into her beautiful brown eyes “we can do this?”

I smashed my mouth to hers before she could answer.

Her hands instantly went around my neck. I pulled her closer to me and groaned. I had missed this. Missed her. And Lou.

“I’ve missed you” my voice was rough when we pulled away.

Her eyes stayed fixated on my lips for a split-second before she met my eyes again. The mother of my child. Hopefully of more children too.

“Me too” she sighed.

“There is something I have to tell you” I blurted out.

Urgh, I had such a way with words lately.

Milly blinked. I could tell she had gotten better over the last few weeks and I did everything in my power to cheer her up. Hopefully this would do the trick too.

“What is it?” she asked.

I still had my arms around her waist when I spoke “I will take some time off work”

Her eyes sparkled “Really? That’s great!”

“For a year” I continued.

Milly frowned and waited for me to continue.

I let out a breath “All my life I wanted my own family to care for, to cherish and to love”

Milly smiled.

“And I don’t want to miss one second in our daughter’s life”

I waited for Milly’s response but instead she kissed me.

I happily kissed her back before pulling away. I wanted to see her reaction.

“You are the best dad, do you know that?” she smiled.

I grimaced teasingly “I’m not so sure about that, but you’re definitely the best mom”

**Milly**

I felt happier in my own skin, and Taron had a huge thing to do with that. We spent every minute with each other and our daughter and in the beginning, I was afraid I would find flaws I didn’t like.

But he was perfect.

I had started pumping too and it helped a lot. Taron got up and fed her while I slept, we actually took turns.

I was starting to lose weight and the cramps were getting better too. I still looked a bit pregnant, but it was nothing compared to the beginning.

I actually couldn’t believe the journey my body had gone through but I was proud of what I had achieved more than I was sad I might never get my pre-pregnancy body back.

We finally invited family and friends over and first up were Sofie and Richard. They even brought Nia.

“Oh, she’s so big already” I gasped when she saw her.

Sofie smiled “They grow quickly, let me tell you”

“How is Louisa?” she asked.

My smile widened “She’s great”

She was still into her eat, sleep, poop, repeat rhythm and I knew that would be going on for a while.

“I feel like all I do is feed and change her” I laughed.

“Tell me about it” Sofie smiled understandingly “But it will change”

I glanced over to Taron holding Lou “Yeah I couldn’t have done it without him either”

“It’s a great time” Sofie said “And you two look totally in love”

She looked over to Taron who looked over to me.

My smile widened “Yeah, we’re in love”

We hadn’t actually said the words yet, but I knew I loved him. And that he loved me. He didn’t need to tell me, with all that he did for me and our daughter he showed me.

“We should go for a coffee sometime, with our girls” Sofie suggested “And catch up”

I smiled “I’d love that. I feel like I’ve barely been outside the last few weeks”

Amanda came over too. I could tell she didn’t really know what to do with Lou, and I smiled thinking back to how I was the same a while ago.

“She looks so much like the two of you” she smiled when Lou woke up and I got her from her cot.

“Does she?” I asked.

“Yeah” she nodded “Definitely. So how are you doing?”

I sat down next to her and started feeding Lou “I’m good” I sighed “It took some getting used to though”

“I can imagine” Amanda said understandingly.

I loved her, but I wasn’t sure she could understand.

I smiled “Yeah. It’s a total change your body and mind have to go through”

Amanda smiled at me “But you seem like quite the pro to me”

She gestured towards Lou drinking.

I smiled “Yeah. I eventually got the hang of it”

“So, what about you and Taron?” she gushed.

My smile widened “We’re great”

“Aaaand?” she giggled.

I laughed “I know you told me so. I don’t know why it took me so long to figure it out”

She smiled “You are the cutest family ever”

“Thank you” I smiled back. “I love him so much. But I love her more”

I ran my hand over my daughters back as she pulled away from feeding.

I was sure Taron didn’t mind. Because he loved her daughter more than his own life.


	26. Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's talk about sex, baby... :)

**One month later**

_“I love you” Taron’s hands held my face and he ran his thumb over my bottom lip just before he kissed me._

_My fingers ran through his hair and he groaned._

_He kissed his way down my neck over my breasts that still felt so sensitive, before he went even lower. He knew my body better than I did._

_“Taron” I moaned as I wriggled under him._

_His lips crashed to mine again and I ran my hands over his naked back, as low as they would go._

_I felt that familiar ache for him and I knew I would never tire of this. Of the way he could make me feel, and only ever him._

_He entered me ever so slowly before drawing back and I whimpered._

_My whole body was drawn to him. As if we had done this so many times before._

_In fact, we had._

_His green eyes were on mine and I gasped when he pushed in all the way._

_We didn’t even have to say anything to know how we were both feeling for each other. He started moving faster and my head fell back._

_The skills he possessed were beyond me. But I knew there had never been a man who made me feel this way. And there never would be._

_He added a thumb to my clit and I was falling._

_“Oh, I –“ I moaned._

_“Let me feel you lose it” he groaned._

I woke up and tried to catch my breath. I ran my hands through my hair and looked to the other side of the bed to find Taron fast asleep.

These sex dreams were starting to haunt me. Taron and I were close, but our daughter would always come first. Whenever we could, we kissed which sometimes turned into a make-out session but never more.

I scooted closer to him and ran my hand over the side of his body and smiled when he was still sleeping.

My hand reached his cheek and I stroked it before trailing my fingers over his jawline, down his neck over his mole. I could see so much of him in our daughter already.

I heard him grumble and I wanted to pull my hand back, but Taron’s hand was faster than I was, stopping me by gripping my wrist.

“Good morning babe” he groaned.

I closed my eyes on exhale. I had to keep all the dirty thoughts at bay. I loved how he looked in the morning. It was my favourite look on him and it was something only ever I got to see. Whether he barely slept and looked tired as hell, or was covered in spit.

“Good morning” I smiled.

He started to open his eyes slowly, his beautiful green eyes. His lips curved upwards when he found me looking at him.

“Don’t stop” he whispered

He let go of my wrist and I put my hand on his cheek again while he wrapped his arm around my waist.

“You’re so handsome, it’s hard to handle” my voice sounded strange.

He chuckled “I could say the same to you”

I had gained more self-confidence over the last weeks, being proud to be a mom and my body being a reminder of it.

He leant in closer to me, his fingers rubbing circles into my waist and I closed the gap between us. His tongue pressed into my mouth and I kissed him back. Suddenly that dream felt so real as we kept kissing, our kisses turning fiercer and he rolled me onto my back.

Then I heard Lou crying and we broke apart. I let out a breath as I got up and looked after her, my knees wobbly as I walked next door.

“Hey baby” I whispered as I picked her up from her cot and tried to soothe her.

I tried to feed her and she stopped crying and started drinking.

“Hungry, are you?” I smiled at her as she looked at me while sucking.

“Is she okay?” I heard Taron behind me and found him in the doorway.

I smiled “Yeah, she’s hungry”

He sat down on the couch next to me and lightly stroked Lou’s back and I saw his eyes dropping to my boob.

Yeah, the sexual tension had changed between us. And here I had thought I would never want to have sex again.

Actually, I couldn’t wait.

I showered while Taron bathed and dressed her and I found them playing on the carpet in the living room. It was definitely a sight, seeing Taron with colourful baby toys. Lou rolled over from her tummy to her back and squealed while Taron laughed.

Oh, be still my heart.

Louisa was now two months old and things were just getting better and better. She had started smiling and cooing, and she was a daddy girl. I didn’t even blame her.

Taron sang to her quite a lot and my heart ached every time. Sometimes I would just wake up in the middle of the night because he would sing to her.

“Are you sure you’ll be fine?” I asked.

I knew he would be, but I was also worried.

He looked over to where I was standing and picked up our daughter, carrying her in his arms.

Oh boy. I felt like I would never get over that sight.

“We’ll be fine” he said while kissing our daughter’s head “You go have fun”

“Are you sure?” I frowned.

It was the first time I would go somewhere without my daughter. And it felt hard, even though I knew Taron would protect her with his life.

“Yes” he insisted “I’ll call you if we need anything”

“Okay” I let out a breath.

I knew I needed to learn to do things without my baby, but after carrying her for nine months and being around her non-stop for the last two, every step away from her felt like climbing the Mount Everest.

“Bye Lou” I caressed her cheek

She smiled back at me and mumbled something.

Such a cutie.

“Bye mom” Taron teased me.

I smiled and gave him a quick kiss on his lips.

“Bye dad”

Sofie and I met up at the exact café we had been when my water had broken. It felt odd to be back here, but also right.

“Hey, how are you?” I smiled when Sofie and I hugged.

“I’m great” she smiled back “How are you?”

I shrugged “I’m good”

We sat down at a table by the window.

“What’s going on?” Sofie asked once we had ordered.

I looked down “This is the first time I’m out without her”

“Ohhh” Sofie said knowingly “That was so hard for me”

“Yeah” I smiled half-heartedly “I know she’s in good hands but –“

I let out a breath.

“You still miss her and worry about her” Sofie completed my thoughts for me.

I looked at her “When will that get better?”

Sofie smiled lightly “Never”

I grimaced “That’s something to look forward to, eh?”

We laughed.

Our food arrived and we started to dug in. I ordered porridge and a croissant while Sofie ate a crepe.

“Where is Nia?” I asked her.

“Oh, Richard is looking after her. It’s his day off”

I rolled my eyes, remembering what happened this morning “I don’t think I’ll ever get over seeing Taron with our daughter”

“Tell me about it” Sofie laughed “It’s like an ovary explosion every time”

I laughed.

Then I thought back to my dream this morning. I shivered.

“Hey can I ask you something?” I asked eventually.

“Sure” she smiled before taking a sip of her coffee.

“How did you handle –“ I gulped and lowered my voice “how did you handle sex after having your baby?”

“Oh” she smiled “Well you should have stopped bleeding and feel well. It has to feel right. You shouldn’t try to force it”

I blushed “It wouldn’t be forced”

Her smile widened “Well that’s good then”

“Actually…” I couldn’t believe we were discussing this “I have all these sex dreams all the time”

Sofie laughed “Been there”

“Really?” I raised my eyebrows.

“Yeah” she sighed “After all that time not having it. We waited for a while after Nia because we were both really busy… And like you said, seeing Richard with our daughter did things to me, still does”

“Right??” I almost yelled.

“Sorry” I laughed “I’m overly excited but also super nervous”

“Don’t be nervous” she said “It’ll come naturally”

Why did I feel so scared all of the sudden?

“Oh, but maybe take a night off. We could babysit her”

I frowned “I’m not sure I can do that”

Sofie smiled as she met my eyes “I know it’s hard. But you need some alone time too. As a couple. That’s what Richard and I did and our friends babysat her”

I gulped. I didn’t even know if Taron was into that idea, but then I remembered the way he looked at me this morning.

“We will take good care of her. And she can play with Nia” she suggested.

Give her away for a night to have sex? Sounded selfish to me.

“I’ll talk to Taron about it” I smiled “Thanks though”


	27. Heat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter leading up to smut  
> Enjoy!

**Taron**

It was getting harder to resist her. Quite literally. I was worried it meant I didn’t love Lou, but it was a normal body reaction to having a sexy woman in my bed.

And from the way Milly looked at me, I hoped she felt the same way.

We were cuddled up on the couch, watching another one of my movies because Milly was into those. I was happy to watch it with her, because I was proud of Rocketman.

“I can’t believe it’s you” Milly giggled after we had just watched the Take Me To The Pilot scene.

I smiled over to her.

“What can I say?” I shrugged “It came with the job”

“I’m totally buying you’re gay” she laughed.

I cupped her chin and her smile faded.

I loved her eyes and how she looked at me. Hell, I loved all of her.

“Let me tell you I’m not” my voice was rough.

“I figured” she smirked and her eyes dropped to my lips.

I smashed my lips to hers. It felt like all was right in the world when we did that. She eagerly kissed me back, as if she had been waiting all day to do that. Her hands went under my shirt while I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer.

She straddled my lap and I groaned. I pulled her even closer to me, right _there_.

Her breath hitched and we forgot all about the movie.

I lay her down on the couch and moved over her, too caught up in the kissing to stop this before things got heated.

I was on fire.

Our kisses were growing deeper and needier and I could barely think straight.

“Taron” she moaned and that sound was music in my ears.

Our lips were merely apart and I looked down at her.

“Are you sure?”

She nodded and bit her lip.

I kissed her again before stripping out of my white shirt. I helped her out of her hoodie. She left me breathless when she unclasped her bra and ran her hands over my bare chest before pulling me down to her.

Skin against skin.

I closed my eyes on exhale. This was just too much to take in.

Then I realised she pushed her hands against my chest and I sat up.

“Did I do something wrong?” I asked, barely noticing what was going on.

Milly smiled and gestured for the baby monitor. Lou had started babbling again, so she was awake.

I ran my hands through my hair and closed my eyes. How had I not heard that?

“I’ll go get her” I said, my voice sounding strangled before I walked into Lou’s room.

“Heeey girl” I smiled when I found her looking up at me.

I got her from her cot and her tiny hands were on my shoulder.

“Did you sleep well?” I asked in my baby voice.

She babbled something nobody could ever deceiver. Except Milly maybe.

“Is that a yes?” I smiled.

I lay her down on the changing table to get her out of her sleeping bag.

Then I walked back to the living room to find Milly on the couch, still topless but she had put her nursing bra back on.

“Hellooooo” she smiled and got up when she saw us.

Lou still seemed sleepy. She took her from me and Lou cooed.

I would never get over how cute she was.

Milly started to feed her and I walked off to the kitchen, putting the kettle on and trying hard to get my mind off what could have happened a few moments ago.

“Should we talk about what happened?” she asked eventually when Lou was asleep again.

I didn’t even know where to start. I felt like a horny teenager.

“Sure” I shrugged.

She narrowed her eyes slightly but didn’t speak. How did she know me so well?

“You know –“ she started “I didn’t know if I was ready for this for a while now. If I ever would be ready. But –“

She put her hand on my thigh.

“But I’m ready”

I almost let out a sigh of relief.

“Did you talk to a doctor?” I asked “Are you -?”

She nodded. “Yeah. He said it would be all fine once I stopped bleeding and –“

She paused and I met her eyes.

“I stopped bleeding a week ago” she sounded excited.

My smile widened “So that means we can -?”

She nodded.

I kissed her, still not able to think straight. She smiled against my lips before she kissed me back. I ran my hands over her back before I reached her waist and pulled her to me.

Then I remembered we had been cockblocked by our daughter.

“Wait” I whispered against her lips and had a hard time pulling away.

She looked into my eyes, confused and worried.

“Let me take you on a date” I whispered.

She raised her eyebrows but her smile had widened “A date?”

I nodded “Yeah. I want to take you out”

She blushed as if we barely knew each other “What about Lou?”

“I talked to Richard. They could babysit her for a night”

Milly laughed “Really? Sofie said the exact same thing”

I smiled as I cupped her chin “Is that a yes?”

She looked down “Do you really think we should give her away for a night to have sex?”

It sounded strange but we needed this.

“Yes” I said “Couples do that all the time. We need this for _us_. It doesn’t mean we don’t love our daughter. It mean we will be relaxed to care for her more than before”

I hoped this wouldn’t sound like it was my cock talking.

But Milly smiled “Okay”

“Really?” I smiled.

She nodded and pressed her lips together “Take me on a date, Mr. Egerton”

**Milly**

Taron insisted I had a spa day to myself. I gasped when I arrived at Hotel Café Royal.

I smiled. I still couldn’t believe Taron did this.

It all started with a traditional afternoon tea and a 90-minute aromatherapy massage. I didn’t even know how much I needed it until then. I felt like a completely new person after. There was a pool and sauna too and I opted for a facial treatment with makeup and a wax which both wasn’t included in the package. I was sure Taron would like it.

On the way home I walked by a lingerie shop and went inside before I could change my mind. The last time I had worn lingerie felt like ages ago, and the pieces wouldn’t fit anymore anyway. I decided on a black lace bra and panties set and also took the lacy nightgown.

My spine was tingling thinking about what Taron would think of it.

When I got home later, I found a note from Taron on the dresser in the hall

_Lou and I are on the way to Richard and Sofie’s._

_Can’t wait to see you_

_Love,_

_Taron_

My heart ached for him. I walked into our bedroom to get dressed and I had never felt that sexy. Once I had put the underwear on, I decided on a black cocktail dress that hid my belly perfectly. I shoved the nightgown into my handbag for later.

My knees were weak on the way to the Tube. I got off at London Bridge and Taron had told me to meet him outside the Shard.

My smile widened when I saw him standing there in a suit. He turned around and smiled when he saw me.

My next steps were faster until I reached him and he hugged me.

“Hey” he whispered into my neck “You’re so beautiful”

My skin tingled and my smile widened.

We pulled away, but he held on to my waist.

“You’re handsome” I smiled, suddenly feeling shy.

There was something about Taron in a suit, no tie. It felt like I was dreaming that this man actually wanted me.

“Are you ready?” he asked quietly.

I smiled and nodded “Yeah”

We took the elevator up and I had thought we would go to the viewing platform. But we didn’t. I frowned and wondered what he had planned.

We reached 31st floor and entered a bar I had no clue existed. Aqua Shard.

They let us to a table and Taron had his hand on my lower back the whole time. We reached a table by the window and I gasped at the view.

“That” I muttered “That’s Tower Bridge”

Taron chuckled “It is indeed”

It was already dark out and the city was lit up.

We sat down at our table and I ordered a non-alcohol drink and Taron did too.

“You can order alcohol if you want” I smiled.

I just didn’t want to be tipsy. Since I hadn’t drunk in ages, I would be drunk in no time. And I wanted to remember every detail about tonight.

“I’m fine” he smiled and put his hand on mine.

He blinked a few times, then shook his head “I can’t get over how beautiful you are”

I blushed and smiled.

Why was I blushing? I loved him. And he was the father of my child.

“Thanks”

Our drinks arrived and I took a sip. Maybe I should’ve ordered alcohol after all, I was nervous.

“How was your day?” he asked.

“I don’t know how to thank you” I smiled “I feel like a completely different person”

“Well from what I can see, you’re still the same” he chuckled.

“No seriously Taron. Thank you” I smiled at him.

He frowned ever so lightly “You’re welcome”

“How is Lou?” I asked.

Then I wondered if our daughter was off topic for our date night. But she would never be off topic for me.

Taron smiled “She was fine. We discovered the piano today”

I laughed “You did?”

I could tell our daughter already loved music. And she got that from her daddy.

We had bought her a mini piano that had five keys a while back but she hadn’t been interested in it yet.

“I love when you sing to her” I blurted out.

I didn’t even know what had hit me to say that. But it was true.

The corners of his mouth turned upwards “You do?”

I nodded “Yeah. It does something to me”

“Good to know” Taron smirked.

There was something in his eyes I hadn’t seen before. Something kinky.

Holy hell, I had never been so excited to get into bed with a man.

“Hey” Taron put his hand on mine again “We can just go home if you’re uncomfortable”

I gulped “No, no. It’s not that, it’s –“

I wasn’t uncomfortable. I was nervous. I couldn’t even remember the last time I had sex and I didn’t want to think about it either. And what if we wouldn’t fit? Or it wouldn’t feel right?

“You think too much” Taron chuckled.

I met his eyes again, smiling “How do you know me so well?”

He caressed the back of my hand with his thumb “We spent almost every minute together since Lou arrived”

I smiled. He was right.

“That’s true” then I laughed “I actually waited to find out your flaws. But nope”

He raised one eyebrow “Really?”

“Yeah. You’re perfect” I had to stifle giggling.

“Just wait, you might change your mind” he said quietly, looking at our hands.

It had me wondering if he talked about sex, or life in general.

“I’m sure there is nothing I couldn’t like” I insisted.

He looked up to meet my eyes again.

“How did I get so lucky to have you as the mother of my child?” his voice was smooth.

My skin was covered in goose bumps at his words.

I thought about it for a second and smiled when I had an appropriate answer.

“How did I get so lucky to have you as my accidental artificial inseminator?”

He smiled, his eyes sparkling.

“You know –“ he let out a breath “I don’t believe in fate, but I have to say this feels like it”

I nodded “Yeah, I get what you mean”

“Hell, we met almost 8 years ago –“

“Language” I said out of reflex but our daughter wasn’t even here.

Taron chuckled, then that sparkle in his eyes appeared again.

“You might want to change your mind when you start cursing later”

“When?” I giggled.

Not if?

“When” his voice was a promise.


	28. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2700 words on smut so beware :)

His eyes were soft, his face was the definition of love. He turned my hand around so he was caressing my palm.

“I’m glad you’re the mother of my child”

Ovaries explosion right there.

“So, what do you have planned after this?” my voice was trembling.

Taron smiled “Want to get out of here?”

“Yes” I nodded.

I could not wait.

He took my hand in his and I could barely walk straight. We reached the elevators and I thought we were going down. But we were going up.

Taron’s hand was still in mine as we were standing next to each other and I glanced over to him. His green eyes met mine and he smiled while caressing my hand with his thumb.

I gasped when he handed me a key card. I couldn’t believe we would spend the night here.

We reached 44th floor and I squealed when we were standing in front of our room door. I swiped the card and opened it.

Taron held the door open for me and I walked inside first. I gasped when I looked at that view. I was practically glued to the window. We had a view over the river to the Gherkin and Sky Gardens. This must have cost him a fortune.

I glanced around the room and found lit candles and a bouquet of flowers on the table by the window. Taron was watching me as he got out of his suit jacket and lay it over the couch.

“You’re insane” my voice was barely above a whisper as I walked towards him.

I smashed my lips to his and caught him off guard for a split-second until he wrapped his arms tightly around my waist and kissed me back.

We pulled apart eventually, our foreheads resting against each other. He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me again. That move right there had my heart aching for him even more.

I felt my head spinning when his tongue met mine, ever so slowly and sensually. He had his hands on my waist and I could feel the bed right behind me. I would only have let myself fall down on it, but he didn’t let me. Not yet.

My fingers ran through the stubble along his jawline and I sighed into his mouth.

Then his lips left mine. I opened my eyes in confusion.

The way he looked at me had my heart racing and he didn’t take a step back. Neither did I.

“There is something I wanted to give you” he whispered “before we –“

I was drowning in his beautiful green eyes that reflected so much of his feelings.

Then he took a step back and headed for his suit jacket, rummaging through the pocket inside.

He pulled out a small box and my breath hitched.

“Here” he handed me the small box.

I looked at him and he frowned. He seemed nervous.

I opened the box to find a tiny baby bracelet inside.

“Ohhh” I whispered as I pulled it out and looked at the engraving.

It read _Louisa_ on the front and her birth date on the back.

“I wanted to give this to you as a present for when you give birth” he whispered “I actually picked it out on that day right before I got the text that you were in the hospital”

The sincerity in his voice and his eyes had my eyes filling with tears.

“Hey” he cupped my face in one of his hands.

“I love it” I sniffled “I can’t believe it was the same day”

“Me neither” he whispered back “And it was the best day of my life”

“Really?” my voice was hopeful.

“You gave me everything that day” he whispered, stroking my cheek with his thumb.

“I was so happy you were there” I breathed out.

We were standing like that for what felt like hours. And I could have stayed there with him like that for longer.

“Do you mind if I check my phone?” I asked eventually.

Taron smiled and nodded “Please do. I’m worried about her too, you know”

The weight on my chest lifted when I saw I had gotten a text and photo from Sofie

_< <She is perfect. We fed her just now and she’s about to go to sleep. Have a great evening>>_

The photo was of our daughter, her eyes looking so much like her daddy’s.

I showed it to Taron and we smiled at each other.

“We made a beautiful human, eh?” Taron smiled.

My smile widened “That’s all your genes”

“No, it’s not” he chuckled.

“I just still can’t believe she is a part of both of us” I whispered.

Taron’s lips parted “She is. And she will be. Forever”

He was so romantic I couldn’t take it.

His lips met mine, so tender and soft my knees were giving in. Taron held me upright, my body flush against his.

I tilted my heat, deepening the kiss and his tongue met mine. I poured all my gratitude for his actions in there, how he worshipped me and my body.

He groaned as his hands went under the skirt of my dress and felt my lingerie panties.

I smiled against his mouth before I kissed him again.

Our kisses turned so much more passionate then and we both fell down on the bed together. It had me wondering if Taron was as needy as I was.

“Are you sure you want to continue?” he whispered as I stared into his eyes.

“Yeah” I nodded “But it’s been so long and –“

He ran his thumb over his bottom lip I hadn’t realised I had been biting.

“Don’t be nervous” he whispered.

His lips dropped to my neck and he kept kissing me there. I started to relax and wriggle under his body. I wanted more.

He left a trail of wet kisses as he headed lower, towards my cleavage. Everything else was covered by my dress.

“Wait” I breathed out and Taron stopped.

I sat up and unzipped my dress, moving out of it.

His eyes were on my body and I was glad I bought that lingerie. Because the way he looked at me told me he loved it.

“Do you like it?” I smiled.

His eyes met mine and they were darker than before.

“I love it” he whispered as he softly and carefully ran his hand over the side of my body. I shivered under his touch.

I lay back on the bed, excited for where his hands would go next.

He moved on top of me, wrapping his arm around my back, pulling me closer to him. I felt his erection right where I needed it and gasped.

“That’s what you did to me for _months_ ” he groaned.

His other hand was in my hair and I gripped his wrist. He let me lead his hand to where I needed it most. His hand reached my panties and he groaned. I knew they were damp already.

“I could say the same thing” I whispered, my voice hoarse.

I withdrew my hand to run it over his shoulders before heading lower while he kept his hand right there. And he started to rub small circles into me over my panties.

My breath hitched. I would be gone in no time.

I kept staring into his eyes as I could feel myself falling. I could hear him gulp and his eyes were darkening.

“Taron, I –“ my voice was a whisper.

“Keep going?” he breathed out.

I nodded and closed my eyes when the sensation was too much. I felt so overly sensitive, so needy after all this time.

Just when I thought I couldn’t take any more he brushed my panties to the side and sank a finger inside of me.

I gasped as my back arched, wanting him closer. I grabbed his neck and pulled his lips down to mine. Our kiss was so deep, so sexy. I felt like I had been kissed for the first time.

I rolled my hips and he groaned as he added a thumb to my clit, hitting it dead on.

I started to come and he broke the kiss, nibbling and biting the skin on my neck. He sent me over the edge and I moaned.

I started to shake under him, finally feeling all that pleasure I had missed and he kept going until I was completely spent.

I let out a breath and opened my eyes to find him looking down at me. He dropped his lips to mine for a soft kiss this time and I needed him even more.

“Please” I whispered against his mouth.

He got up and started unbuttoning his shirt. I sat up and helped him, running my hands over that skin and through his chest hair. I think he started to rip the rest of the shirt off him and I giggled.

He headed for his pants, unzipping before stepping out of them. I gulped at the sight of his black boxer briefs and his thick thighs.

And he wanted me of all women?

“Your body is amazing” he whispered.

I smiled as I headed for his neck and kissed him just like he had kissed me. He let out a breath and let me lay him down on his back.

His eyes were full of longing and mischief as I straddled him and let my kisses trail lower over his collarbone and further down.

I watched him when he closed his eyes lazily and had his hands on my waist. I lay down on top of him, skin against skin and brushed a stray of hair out of his face.

He opened his eyes, his lips parted as he ran his hands up and down my lower back.

“I want to tell you something” he whispered.

I smiled down at him.

“And I don’t want you to think I’m saying it because we’re about to have sex”

His words alone almost sent me over the edge.

“What is it?”

He took a deep breath before he spoke “I love you”

I smiled from ear to ear, my heart feeling so incredibly warm. Because I knew he meant what he said and he would be there for me no matter what.

“I’ve been searching for you for so long. And now you’re finally here. With me. And we have a baby together. We’re a family”

I felt my eyes getting wet.

“Hey” he sat up, holding me close to him.

I sniffled “Sorry I’m so emotional”

He grinned and cupped my cheek again.

“I love you too” I whispered back and Taron’s face lit up with love and relief.

“I’m sorry I fought this for so long. You were always there for me when nobody else was”

“That’s how it’s supposed to be if you love someone” Taron whispered, his eyes a little wet too.

We smiled at each other so our teeth clashed when we wanted to kiss. Our smiles faded and our kiss deepened, a whole different meaning in it now.

Taron rolled me to my back and I was ready for everything coming our way. Because we were together, physically and mentally.

I didn’t want him to ever take his hands off my body as he started to cup my breasts over my bra.

“I’ve been going insane looking at these” Taron whispered before he dropped his mouth to one of my nipples.

My breath hitched “I wasn’t sure you noticed”

“Since day one” he breathed out before reaching behind my back to unclasp my bra.

I was relieved when it was gone and his hands cupped my bare breasts that felt so full and tight.

Then his hands moved lower until he reached my panties. He slowly moved them down as he kissed his way down my belly, over my waist and hipbone, down my thigh.

He moved out of his boxer briefs and I gasped at the sight of him. I almost wasn’t sure if he would fit, but then I remembered I had pushed a baby out so I was sure I would be fine.

He grabbed a condom and rolled it on, his breathing uneven.

I watched him and could barely breathe.

He lay down on top of me, his eyes looking into mine and right through me.

“Don’t be scared” he whispered “You tell me to stop and we’ll stop, okay?”

I nodded and gulped. I knew I wanted this, needed this.

“I want you” I whispered as I ran my hands over his back and pulled him even closer down to me.

We both gasped.

His lips dropped to mine and I started to relax, spreading my legs wider. I felt him moving up and down my entrance and my body was on fire. I gasped into his mouth.

“Oh, I -”

He slowly moved inside of me as if he didn’t want to hurt me and I stretched around him. My eyes were glued to his, our lips mere inches apart.

His hand was on my waist, pulling me closer to him while his other hand was on my neck and his thumb on my cheek, caressing me. I whimpered. I loved this man so much.

He retreated before pushing in deeper than before and I moaned.

He pulled out again before thrusting in all the way. My hands held his waist close to mine as my eyes fluttered closed. I was so full and my body was trembling.

“Are you okay?” he breathed out.

I nodded heavily “Please move”

He groaned and pulled his hips back slowly, before pushing back in. I moaned and opened my eyes to find him staring down at me. I wanted to see him, take in every moment of this.

“You’re perfect” he breathed out as his hand went through my hair.

“You are” I whispered back.

Another deep thrust rocked my body and it was as if he knew me better than I knew myself. What I needed. What I wanted. What I loved.

“Taron” I moaned

He grinned lazily and that alone almost threw me over the edge.

“You are all I ever wanted” he breathed out.

And I felt the exact same way.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and he hit that spot inside of me. I whimpered as I felt a tear fall from my eye.

“Hey” Taron whispered and cupped that tear away.

“I’m sorry” I whispered “I’m just overwhelmed”

The feelings I had for him. That we were a real family that cared and loved each other through all ups and downs.

“I know, me too” he whispered back.

He rocked my body and my world. I never wanted to leave his side. Ever. The sounds we made were the only one in the room, and he was all I saw.

I felt my insides starting to quiver deliciously and Taron groaned.

His mouth was next to my ear, his heavy breaths warming my body “I love you”

I smiled, then furrowed my brows. I could feel myself reaching the edge when he moved as deep as he could go and my breath hitched.

I held on to his arms and let my hands travel higher, over the mole on his right arm, up to his shoulders. The shoulders he carried our daughter on. Literally and figuratively.

I was almost there, but Taron didn’t quicken his pace.

“Faster, please” I whimpered.

He groaned “This will feel better. Just let go”

He kept his pace, not quickening, not slowing down. I met his thrusts as well as I could and his muscles were straining under my hands. He seemed to be having a hard time keeping it together for me.

I moved my hips ever so slightly and we both groaned.

I was right there and pulled Taron down to me, his lips meeting mine in a soul shattering kiss. I let it all go as my body started to shake so familiarly, yet so differently.

Much more passionately.

“Shit babe” he groaned into my mouth as he grinded inside of me.

He broke the kiss and I opened my eyes to watch him fall over the edge, his brows furrowed and his jaw clenched before he let it all go and his muscles relaxed.

“Language” I whispered, smiling, while trailing my fingers over his bottom lip.

He smiled lightly “Not tonight”

He kissed me again, our kisses soft and full of love.


	29. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set directly after chapter 28. Hope you like this!

**Taron**

“I’m in love with the shape of you” she whispered, laying in my arms.

This evening was perfect and I would say it was the best night of my life, if it wasn’t for our daughter’s birth.

I chuckled “I see what you’re doing there”

Her eyes were soft, but also full of mischief “Do you?”

I cupped her cheek and pulled her mouth to mine. I kissed her deeply, wasting no time, as she moved closer and on top of me.

Her lips moved off mine before she started kissing my neck while running her hands over my chest.

I sighed, her weight on top of me perfect, her bare skin against mine with nothing between us.

“I can’t believe you picked that song” I whispered, my voice low.

She grinned, looking up from my chest to my eyes, not making a move on top of me “It’s the only song I could think of then and there”

I felt her hands on the sides of my body, moving lower and my lips parted.

“You know it’s a song about sex though, right?”

She blushed lightly, it was cute. “I do know that”

“I wanted to kiss you so badly” I whispered.

She smiled, giving me that bright smile that lit up her whole face and all of my body.

“Me too” she whispered back, almost sounding shy.

Her hands stopped on my waist and I knew what she had found.

“Wait” she looked at me “Is that -?”

I gulped “From the accident? Yes”

“Oh my God, Taron” she moved off me.

I smiled half-heartedly “It’s not that bad”

I moved the duvet off me so she could see the scar more clearly. It was a small scar, considering I had a pelvis fracture that could have been much worse.

I looked over to her and almost forgot everything about that scar since we were both naked. She seemed focused on my scar though.

“Do you mind if I -?” she asked, holding out her hand.

I shook my head and exhaled.

She ran her finger over my scar on the left side of my hip. It had stopped hurting a long time ago, but she had also healed me of the phantom pain.

“Does it hurt?” she whispered, not looking up into my eyes but staying focused on the scar.

I shook my head “No, I –“ I stopped.

She looked up at me and I saw worry and guilt there.

“It stopped hurting years ago. I used to have phantom pain though and –“

I had had issues having sex in the beginning, that was why I had always blamed myself for not getting Emma pregnant. But I didn’t want to think of her now.

Milly’s eyes were glued on mine “Phantom pain?” she asked quietly.

I nodded “Yeah. They couldn’t find a physical cause anymore. But you took that off me”

She raised her eyebrows “What? That’s impossible”

I smiled and pulled her closer to me so we were facing each other, laying side by side “It’s not”

“What happened to you?” she whispered “After the accident I mean?”

I shrugged, thinking back to that moment “I woke up in a lot of pain. I had to have surgery for my leg and my pelvis and –“

I sighed.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to” she whispered.

“I want to” I insisted.

I just had never told anybody in detail. But I wanted to tell her. I wanted her to know everything.

“I was in a lot of pain for quite some time until I had healed. But I still had mental problems with –“ I gulped “with having sex”

She met my eyes, clearly interested in my story and not worried about what I had just told her.

Then she smirked “Well I guess you got over that issue”

I smiled. I hoped it also meant I could have more children without insemination.

It was too early to talk about more children, wasn’t it?

“Why did you leave?” I whispered.

Her eyes met mine and she frowned “What do you mean?”

“Why did you come to the hospital with me but left after I had gotten there?”

She didn’t meet my eyes “I don’t know what hit me. I wanted to make sure you were okay because I blamed myself for you having that accident”

We had talked about it before and I knew it wasn’t my fault to begin with.

“But once we were in the hospital and they were getting you ready for surgery, I –“

I met her eyes so full of feelings.

“I thought I had no right to be there anymore”

I wrapped one arm around her hip and pulled her closer “You had every right”

“Why?” she whispered.

“I asked how I had gotten there because I seriously couldn’t remember. They told me a woman had been with me but she left. I just remembered –“ I exhaled “just fragments like the blood and –“ I had to smile “Your scarf”

Milly scrunched her nose “Really?”

“Really” I whispered, cupping her face “I dreamt about you so many times. More details coming back every time, the coffee, your hair –“

I ran my fingers through her beautiful brown hair.

She smiled but didn’t meet my eyes.

“You saved me, after the accident and even from my nightmares” I whispered.

“And you make me so unbelievingly happy and proud of myself” she smiled.

I cupped her face in my hands “I went looking for a year after the accident and was devastated when I couldn’t find you”

**Milly**

“One way to kill the mood” he chuckled “I’m sorry”

“Don’t be” I whispered “I’m sorry I didn’t stay”

“It’s fate we’re here now” he said quietly.

I smiled “It all worked out in the end”

Why had I ever doubted we could be a real family?

He leaned in closer to me, his green eyes on mine until the last second before our lips met. Our kiss was so soft, so full of love, I could barely cope.

He rolled me to my back and I moaned.

This was one of the best nights of my life.

My belly started grumbling and I remembered I had barely eaten anything today.

Taron chuckled when he pulled away “Are you hungry?”

I hated to admit I was. I bit my lip and nodded “Yeah”

“Should we order room service?” he asked.

I hated the idea of somebody coming inside of our room, disturbing our mood, our moment, our night.

“Let’s check the mini bar” I smiled as I got out of bed.

I went to grab Taron’s shirt to cover myself when I remembered something.

“Oh, hold on” I smiled, heading for my handbag.

I pulled out the black lace nightgown I had forgotten to put on earlier and put it on. It fit perfectly.

I looked up and Taron’s eyes were glued on mine “Where the hell did you get that?”

He got up from the bed too, putting on his black boxer briefs and I gulped.

“I bought it earlier, together with the underwear”

He reached me and wrapped his arms around me “I love it”

I smiled and could feel my cheeks heating up “Do you?”

“I do” he nodded “Should we look for that minibar?”

“Definitely” I smiled.

We found the minibar in a cupboard and started to eat our way through it. They had pretzels, Haribo, nuts and chocolate.

We made a mess in bed but laughed and talked and I loved this time so much.

“Are you full?” Taron frowned after we had eaten everything.

I shrugged. I didn’t feel full but I didn’t mind.

“Not really” I giggled “You?”

“Not really” he repeated, chuckling.

Our eyes stayed fixated on each other’s and the mood in the room changed. We weren’t hungry, or not for food at least.

Taron pulled me closer to him again, rubbing circles into my lace gown and I shivered under his touch.

“You shouldn’t be allowed to wear this” he said absentmindly.

I smiled “I’m glad you like it”

His eyes met mine, amused “Like it? Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Language” we both said in unison and laughed.

“I love it” he said, his voice full of meaning that went deeper than what he said.

“Get me out of it” I whispered.

His eyes darkened and he groaned.

“I think you should keep it on” he leant in closer and whispered into my ear “while we make love again and I don’t want you to wear anything else ever”

My eyes rolled into the back of my head and I sighed as he nibbled on my earlobe before moving lower, down my neck.

I was all his. He could do to me whatever he wanted.

He kissed my nipples over the lace and I gasped, so oversensitive, especially there.

I moaned and wanted to tell him to stop before I would start leaking milk but I could only mutter something that sounded a lot like “keep going”.

He groaned and grazed first one, then the other over the fabric.

I had no doubt he could make me come with that move only.

Then his lips were on mine again and I sighed, feeling impatient.

Taron pulled away “Are you sure?”

I nodded, running my hands over his bare back until I reached his waist “Please”

He gulped and closed his eyes in a long blink “I don’t want to hurt you”

“You won’t hurt me” I whispered.

Actually, I was looking forward to being sore tomorrow.

“Please Taron” I whimpered.

He groaned as he rolled on to his back and moved out of his boxer briefs. Then he rolled on a condom and looked at me expectantly.

I smirked as I straddled him and positioned myself.

My eyes stayed on his as I slowly sank down on him, even though I had a hard time to keep my eyes open as he filled me so deeply.

Our breathing became shallow and I just enjoyed that feeling, moving ever so slightly.

My night gown had ridden up to my waist and I was about to get out of it when Taron sat up.

I gasped at the change in angle, feeling so much fuller than before.

“Keep it on” he groaned.

I grinned and gripped his shoulders as I started to rock back and forth ever so slowly.

We both moaned while we stared at each other, enjoying this feeling of being with each other.

Taron’s hands reached my ass and moved with me while I intertwined my legs behind his back. We couldn’t get closer to each other than this.

“Please” I whimpered, ready to give up control.

Taron’s eyes looked into mine searchingly for a second while I could barely keep my eyes open.

Then he flipped me over to my back and I almost came from that move alone.

I sighed in relief and he groaned, thrusting in hard.

I moaned, barely able to keep it together as I could feel my eyes watering again.

“Babe” he groaned “I can’t keep it together anymore”

“Please don’t” I whispered as I could feel myself falling over the edge.

He thrust in me again, hard and deep and I started to clench around him.

I grabbed his face and kissed him as we both let it all go, gasping into each other’s mouth as we came together.

I lay on my back, trying to catch my breath, drowning in Taron’s eyes.

“I want to stay here forever” I whispered, still in a daze.

Taron chuckled lightly before he kissed me tenderly “We do have forever”


	30. Apology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somebody makes a surprise return. Hope you enjoy!

“Hey babyyyy” I drew out the word as I saw my girl again the next day.

I had missed her so much, even though Taron and I had had an amazing time.

The corner of her mouth twitched when she saw us and Sofie handed her over to me.

“How was everything?” I asked.

Taron was standing next to me and had one arm around my waist and one on our baby’s back.

“She was great” Sofie smiled “She and Nia had the best time”

I smiled “That sounds great”

I could barely drag my eyes off my daughter, as if I hadn’t seen her for a month.

Taron leant down and kissed our daughter’s temple while he rubbed circles into my waist. I didn’t know how he could do it all.

But he could. And I was quite distracted.

“Uh” I smiled “I think she needs a fresh diaper”

“Oh” Sofie said “Let me show you where you can change her”

“Great” Sofie showed me to Nia’s room.

I looked around to find Taron and Richard standing there talking. Taron’s eyes met mine and he shot me a wink. My smile widened before we walked around the corner and he was out of sight.

I lay my girl down on the dressing table and started unbuttoning her onesie.

“So how was last night?” Sofie asked quietly.

My smile widened and my skin tingled at the thought. The night flew by in no time with chatting, eating and having sex.

“It was great” I grinned for ear to ear.

Sofie’s hand was on my shoulder “I’m happy for you”

I glanced over at her and she handed me a wet wipe “Thank you”

“I just –“ I let out a breath “I never imagined it being better after having a baby”

Sofie glanced at me for a second before her smile widened “That has nothing to do with having a baby normally. If I’m being honest, I struggled for a while”

I frowned. What was it then?

Taron.

“Oh, I had no idea” I said, truly shocked

“Wait have you two never –?“ Sofie didn’t finish her question when I shook my head.

“No. I mean we were with other people to begin with. I don’t know if Taron told you the whole story”

Sofie looked at me “I was rooting for you from the start” she smirked “I didn’t like Emma”

I grabbed a fresh diaper “Yeah well I can’t believe what she did to him”

“I’m glad you’re together now” she said “You seem perfect for each other”

I smiled and started blushing “Thank you”

“That’s a really good sign it was great then” she smiled.

“He was so romantic” I swooned.

I definitely hoped it would last forever.

We arrived back home and Taron took Lou over to our baby blanket. Lou crawled over to where the piano was laying and I laughed.

“She will totally be a musician like you”

Taron smiled as he handed it to her and sat next to our daughter “Why? I’m no musician”

I gave him a look “You’re a great singer”

“Am I now?” he smiled and there was a twinkle in his eyes that told me he remembered what I had told him during our date.

“What do we want to cook?” I asked him.

Taron walked into the kitchen “Take out?”

I rolled my eyes at him, but smiled at the same time “Take out?”

“Yeah” he pulled me closer to him and against the kitchen counter “I’m all for take out”

“But we’re not alone” I smiled over to Lou laying in her crib.

Take out it was. Lou was napping and Taron and I dug in our pizza.

“I’ve missed this” I moaned.

“Take out?” Taron asked, smiling.

I nodded “Yeah. No dirty dishes or anything”

“I’m happy you like the perks” he grinned.

“Are there others? Do tell” I teased him.

“We get to do more of this” he leant in, one hand on my neck before our lips met.

I smiled against his lips before we deepened the kiss. He was totally right about that perk. I wanted him every minute I could get him. It brought back memories of last night and I shivered at the thought.

The things he could do to my mind and my body were beyond me. I had never felt more at ease, more relaxed or more loved around anyone.

We broke away eventually, both breathing hard.

His eyes met mine searchingly and I smiled.

His mouth met mine again, more urgently this time and he picked me up and carried me to our bedroom. As long as Lou was asleep, we had time.

“I love you” I smiled when we lay in bed afterwards.

I ran my hands over his chest, laying my head on his collarbone in the process.

Taron pulled me closer to him and kissed me on my hair “And I love you”

I smiled and sighed. How was this my life now?

The door bell rang and I sat up, glancing at Taron. We looked at each other worriedly and then Lou started crying.

Urgh, just great.

“I’ll get her” I said “You get the door”

He jumped into his sweat pants without putting his boxer briefs back on and I gulped at the sight. I walked into Lou’s bedroom while Taron took his tee and headed for the door.

“Hey baby” I smiled as I got Lou from the crib.

Whoever had rung the bell had woken her up. She cooed a little and I swayed her lightly.

I headed for the living room to get her teddy bear when I froze. Wait, was that really her standing in the doorway?

“I have nothing more to say to you” Taron’s voice was harder than I was used to.

“Well I hope you think about it” she said quietly before she turned around.

Taron shut the door and ran his hand through his hair. He turned around and found me standing there with our girl.

“Was that Emma?” I asked, my voice quivering.

“Yeah” he let out a sigh “I don’t know what gives her the right to come by”

Lou wriggled in my arms and reached out for Taron who took her from me.

“What did she want?” I asked, unsure.

Would he ever consider taking her back?

“She wanted to apologise” he said quietly

Holding his daughter seemed to have calmed him down.

“That’s it?” I asked.

Taron smiled “That’s it. I’m not taking her back or anything”

“Would you want to?” I was shocked.

“Never” Taron said “I love _you_ ”

I sighed in relief “Okay. It’s still odd she came by though”

“It is” Taron grimaced “And she woke our daughter”

Lou was growing sleepier again and Taron lay her down in her cot again.

I watched him and how much he cared for our daughter. I knew family meant a lot to him, but I also knew he had loved Emma for years. He turned around while I was still standing in the doorway, watching him.

“What can I do to take your mind off it?” he asked.

“What do you mean?”

We walked out of Lou’s room and shut the door.

“You’re worried that she came by”

“I am” I answered honestly “Because I… you loved her once”

We sat down on the couch together.

“You know what she did to me and I’m not sure I ever loved her. I would never take her back even if hell freezes over”

I had to laugh at that “Okay. I’m sorry I’m freaking out”

“Don’t be sorry” he cupped my chin and I relaxed under his touch

“It’s a weird situation. But I told her to never come by ever again”

“What did she say?” I asked.

“She said she just wanted to apologise for how she acted and that’s it” he shrugged.

“After all that time” I frowned.

“Apparently” Taron’s voice was thick with disbelief too.

“But –“ he continued “Don’t you ever think I would put _us_ at risk”

I smiled at his words and leant against him “I’m sorry she hurt you”

Taron held me tightly to him as we lay there, cuddling “She did hurt me. But I love you and I always will”

My smile widened “I can’t believe we’re a real family now”

“Better get used to it because you don’t get rid of me any time soon” Taron kissed the top of my head.

I sat up and looked into his eyes, so full of sincerity and love “And I don’t want to get rid of you ever”

His lips met mine again and our kisses turned more passionate in no time. I straddled his lap and he groaned as I stroked him over his sweat pants.

“Please tell me you don’t normally do that” I moaned.

“Do what?” he breathed out.

“Put no underwear on” I was already feeling so hot and bothered.

“Not normally, no” he grinned before he kissed my neck and whispered “Just for you”

I had fed Lou and she had gone back to sleep during some skin on skin contact with her dad. These moments would be itched into my brain forever.

“Can I ask you something?” I asked Taron when we were laying in bed that night.

“What is it?” he smiled.

“When was the last time you –“ I gulped “you know”

Taron frowned “The last time I did… what?”

I let out a breath “It’s stupid”

“It’s not” he cupped my face “The last time I did what?”

“The last time you had sex?” I winced.

He smiled lightly before he thought about it “Must have been before the insemination”

I raised my eyebrows, surprised “What? Really?”

“Really” he stated.

“But… but why?”

“We had problems” he let out a breath “And once I had broken up with her, there was just no one even –“

His eyes met mine “I was falling for you, but couldn’t have you”

I shivered “You were falling for me?”

He nodded as he pulled me closer to him “You were carrying our baby. And there was something so familiar about you I couldn’t put my finger on”

“You mean because of the accident?”

“Yeah” he answered “I didn’t want anyone but you”

I smashed my lips to his, too caught up in my feelings and what he told me to act any differently. He groaned as I rolled him to his back and kissed his chest, before moving lower.


	31. Worries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teething and other issues. I hope this doesn't suck completely.

I tossed and turned all night. This summer was brutal. The sun was already shining even though it was still very early.

I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes, trying not to wake Taron. I was only wearing a top and panties while Taron was in his boxers only. I watched his back rise and fall peacefully as he breathed. I still couldn’t quite believe we were a real family.

I moved closer to him and he mumbled something before wrapping one arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. I fell asleep again in no time, listening to his breathing and talking in his scent.

I woke up to Taron’s voice and it took me a second to register he was singing to our girl again. I smiled and listened to his soothing voice which almost sent me right back to sleep.

He quietly came back to bed, unaware I was awake and lay down next to me. I smiled lightly and wrapped my arm around his hip

“You’re quite the singer” I mumbled.

I heard him chuckle “If it makes her fall asleep, I’m here for it”

I smiled “Me too. And I’m here to listen to you sing all day and night”

I didn’t even open my eyes but I could feel himself leaning in closer to me. Our foreheads touched and I let out a sigh.

I loved this man so much.

We fell asleep again, entangled in each other and life couldn’t get more perfect. I was so unbelievably happy with this man by my side and having our daughter, something I never thought I could have.

I woke up again when I heard Lou crying and Taron groaned. He was the one to get up though.

“Let me feed her” I mumbled.

He got our sweet baby girl from her cot and lay her down between us.

“Hey Lou” I smiled “Good morning”

She didn’t stop crying though. I tried to feed her but she didn’t want to.

“What’s wrong?” Taron asked worriedly.

I shrugged “I don’t know”

“She hasn’t slept well for days” Taron mumbled.

I felt like I hadn’t slept in years.

“Maybe she’s teething?” I asked.

Taron frowned “Isn’t that too early?”

It would be pretty early. She was four months old now.

I checked Lou’s mouth and she was drooling a lot and had red inflamed gums.

“Okay she’s definitely teething” I sighed.

Here were to more sleepless nights.

We got up and Taron bathed her while I googled teething remedies.

“Okay this says something to bite on, something cold or just distract her”

In fact Lou had stopped crying since Taron was having a bath with her. I watched the two of them in the tub and gulped.

I would never get over seeing Taron like that, his hair still dry, but him being naked in there.

“Something to bite on?” Taron asked “Do we have something she could use?”

“I think I got one a while back, just in case” I walked out of the bathroom and into the living room to rummage through Lou’s toys.

Once I found a toy I thought we could use I put it in the freezer to have it cold to soothe her.

“Did you find something?” Taron asked and I glanced up to find him walking into the living room with our daughter.

“Yeah” I sighed “I found a toy and just put it in the freezer”

“Okay good” he said.

The teething toy worked and Lou seemed more satisfied. I was knackered, we wouldn’t get much sleep with her teething and she surely would start with separation anxiety soon.

I met Poppy and her baby, at the mommy and toddler group. They had decided to name him Sam instead of Declan. I guess that was a thing that happened.

“So good to see you” I hugged Poppy tightly.

“You too” she smiled “Look at Lou, she’s growing so much”

I smiled “I know. Sam is the cutest” I smiled at her boy.

He was a bit younger than Lou, because she had arrived a bit early.

I enjoyed these weekly sessions, getting talking to mom’s who were going through the same difficulties and getting closer to my baby.

I felt a bit better afterwards, after having learnt some of the other babies were starting to teeth too. Actually, some of them struggled because their babies had high fever so I was relieved Lou was fine.

Lou was taking her nap while Taron was cooking pasta and I was sitting on the counter opposite, pumping milk.

“Hey, can we talk?” he asked.

“Sure” I smiled.

Normally we just talked whatever we thought about, so I felt a bit uneasy.

“You know I took a year off work, right?” he said “I’ll have to go back in a few months and I got an offer for a new project”

I gulped “Oh cool. Which project?”

He looked up from the pot of pasta “Kingsman 3”

“Oh Taron” I giggled “That’s awesome”

“Yeah” he looked down “But I wanted to talk about how we handle everything or if I should even take on the project –“

I thought about it “I could stay at home one more year before going back”

It wasn’t like I loved my job anyway.

“Are you sure?” Taron frowned “I don’t want to keep you from your career”

I had to laugh “Career? I hate my job”

Taron looked at me “Or you can go into a different direction career-wise”

I let out a breath “I’ll think about it. But you should definitely take on that project”

Taron smiled lightly “You think?”

“Definitely” I unplugged the pump and straightened my bra and clothes “You’ll love it”

I hugged him from behind and he exhaled “I just want to be there for my family”

He turned around and pulled me closer to him.

“You can still be there for us” I smiled.

What would it really mean for him and us as a family? Long hours shooting for sure.

“I’ll be pretty busy if I take it on” he said.

“We will find a way” I caressed his cheek “Don’t worry about it”

He smiled lightly “I love you”

I gave him a quick kiss on the lips and we kept it soft and tender

“And I love you”


	32. Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Lou's birthday. And there are also other turn of events :)

**Some months later – Taron**

I was nervous as fuck. I tried not to show but I wasn’t sure Milly didn’t notice. She knew me too well by now. And I loved her so much I couldn’t imagine ever letting her go.

I tossed and turned all night and luckily Milly didn’t wake up. I sat up in bed eventually, rubbing my eyes, trying not to wake her. She was laying on her side, facing me and I took in her beautiful features.

I caressed her cheek ever so lightly and brushed a stray of hair out of her face.

“Good morning” she mumbled and reached for me.

I smiled “Good morning babe”

I lay down again and wrapped my arm around her waist.

She slowly opened her eyes and my heart leaped every time she looked at me in the morning. I never imagined I could ever be this lucky. She gave me the world, and more.

“Are you ready for today?” she smiled.

I nodded, smiling “I can’t believe our baby is turning one”

“Me neither” she whispered “It feels like yesterday”

As if on cue we heard Lou from her bedroom and we got up. She was standing inside her crib and her eyes lit up when she saw me.

“Dada” she smiled.

I felt like my heart exploded every time she said dada.

“Good morning Lou” I smiled and picked her up from her crib.

“Happy Birthday Lou” Milly whispered and kissed her on the forehead.

“Mama” she mumbled and I handed her over to her mommy.

I watched the two of them and it broke my heart thinking about the fact that I had to go back to work in a few days.

Milly prepared breakfast for her while I showered. I towelled off and put on jeans and a tee before I headed for the living room.

She was in the middle of feeding Lou with fruit mashed and I watched the two of them before Milly saw me.

“Hey” she smiled.

Her eyes quickly travelled over my body before she met my eyes again.

Holy hell. We didn’t get nearly enough time to ourselves.

“Do you want to take over?” she asked.

“Sure” I smiled.

I took her place and Lou was waiting for a fresh spoon of mush.

“You like that, don’t you?” I smiled at her.

She ate eagerly and I still couldn’t believe she was one year old today.

Milly brought coffee and porridge over for the two of us and we had breakfast together. One of my favourite moments of the day.

I changed her diaper while Milly showered. I took Lou to the bathroom and found Milly brushing her teeth.

“Do you have any special outfit planned for today?” I asked her.

She rinsed her mouth “Check the cute little red dress in Lou’s closet and some leggings”

“All right” I smiled and turned around to leave with Lou.

“Taron?” Milly asked and I turned around.

“Do you think I should put makeup on?”

I smiled and walked to her again, kissing her on the cheek with our daughter on my arm “You’re the most beautiful with no makeup on”

She grimaced. She didn’t seem so sure I was right

“I love you” she whispered.

I smiled and took Lou over to her room, to dress her in the red dress Milly had referred to.

Once I was done Lou looked like the little princess she was.

“Happy birthday baby girl” I kissed her on the forehead and she cooed.

She had no clue what was going on today.

Milly walked in, dressed in jeans and a red jumper. Our girl was as beautiful as her mom was.

“You’re beautiful” I whispered to Milly.

She smiled. I could tell she had light makeup on. I personally enjoyed the way she looked when she had just woken up, when Lou had spit on her, or whatever else had happened. Because only ever I got to see her like that.

“Thanks” Milly smiled, hugging me and our daughter.

“Look at my girls” I whispered as I kissed our girl to the forehead before I gave Milly a quick kiss on the lips.

We had decided to invite our friends and my family over for a playdate. We set up a small buffet and a cake. Poppy, Andy and Sam arrived first and Lou and Sam started playing on the baby blanket.

I watched them and couldn’t help but wonder how Milly felt about a sibling for Lou. I grew up as an only child for a long time since my sisters and brothers were so much younger than I was. I didn’t want that for my own child.

I was just waiting for the right moment to ask her. And to ask her if she wanted to marry me. My grandma’s ring had burned a hole into my pockets for weeks now. I was waiting for the right moment, but there always seemed to be something that could distract us or wouldn’t make the moment perfect.

I just needed to get a grip already.

Milly opened the door for Richard, Sofie and Nia.

“Hey” Richard pulled me into a hug.

Next up was Amanda with her boyfriend Paul. She seemed so much happier since she had gotten together with him, or maybe it was just me.

My family arrived next. I couldn’t believe they had come all the way from Aber but it meant so much to me that they were here and that they would stay a few days.

“Hi mom” I hugged my mom tightly

“Hi darling” my mom gave me a knowing look.

I had talked to her about proposing to Milly and she was so excited. But she also knew I hadn’t asked her yet.

“Thank you so much for coming” Milly said to my mom before they hugged.

She knew how much it meant to me that they were here.

I hugged my little sisters too, they had grown so much.

**Milly**

The kids had fun while the adults ate cake. Lou had no clue it was her birthday. I wondered how she would react to us unwrapping her presents together later.

The guests left eventually, but we decided to have lunch with Taron’s family tomorrow. I knew it meant a lot to him that they were here and that he wanted to see them more often than we could.

Lou was tired, she was starting to whine. I changed her into her PJ’s and put her down in her crib.

“Look what we got you” I smiled and plugged in her night light.

She stared at the wall, following the beautiful stars and hearts dancing on it.

I felt Taron’s arm around my waist “She likes it”

His voice was quivering.

I smiled at him “She does”

She watched the stars before she mumbled something. I didn’t think I had ever seen her that tired.

“Sleep well Lou” I ran my hand through her hair and kissed her on the forehead.

She murmured something and Taron kissed her too.

We walked into the living room. Taron put the kettle on while I sorted through Lou’s toys.

We slumped down on the couch together and I felt pretty knackered. But something felt off with Taron. I wondered if he was overthinking going back to work.

“What’s wrong?” I asked quietly.

I was snuggled up against him and he tightened his grip around me

“I just thought about what happened a year ago”

I smiled lightly. I couldn’t even remember the pain. I could only remember how happy I had been.

“Best day of my life” I grinned.

I wondered if that would ever change. Maybe if we had more kids, a topic we hadn’t really discussed.

“Mine too” Taron whispered “And it was the first time we kissed”

My heart leaped. I could never forget about that either.

I brushed a bit of hair behind his ear “That was long overdue”

I couldn’t get enough of him since.

He kissed the top of my hair and held me to him “I wouldn’t want to change it”

“Me neither” I lay my head down on his shoulder.

He was my shoulder to lean on. And he always would be as far as I was concerned.

“Should we cook lunch?” I asked him.

He groaned “I feel pretty full from the snacks and the cake”

I laughed “Yeah, me too. And anyway, I still have to lose some weight”

He shook his head and sat up so I was facing him “You’re perfect, the way you are”

“And anyway” he lowered his voice and ran his hand over my hip “I love these curves”

I already shivered under his touch “Oh really?” I teased him.

“Really” he teased me back “Actually, I wouldn’t mind some alone time for us”

I smirked “Alone time?”

“Yeah” he whispered before his lips met mine.

His lips were soft against mine but our kisses turned more passionate in a matter of seconds. I moaned into his mouth and he lay me down on the couch, hovering over me.

Something about his kisses was different. As if he wanted to worship me more than ever, as if he was afraid to lose me.

We broke away eventually, both breathing hard.

“Taron?” I whispered.

His lips were parted and his eyes hazed. I still couldn’t believe I had the same effect on him he had on me.

“Want to take this to the bedroom?” he whispered, his voice hoarse.

I grinned and my spine tingled. We didn’t nearly get enough time for just the two of us. But I wouldn’t want to change it for the world.

“Lead the way, Mr. Egerton” I grinned.

He smirked devilishly and instead of getting up and walking there, he kissed me and carried me there.

I smiled into his kiss and the intensity of those rocketed when we fell down on the bed together.


	33. Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut, fluff, feels... just perfect!

I moaned as he pushed me up the mattress with his first thrust. It was as if we both couldn’t get enough of each other. He stilled deep inside me, panting against my neck. This was one of my favourite moments I had with him, when we both let down all of walls and there were just pure, raw feelings.

“I missed this” I moaned.

It had been what? Two days?

He groaned and dragged himself out of me. I already missed him, I wanted him as close as I could get him. His eyes met mine and the way he looked at me almost sent me over the edge. Something about this felt different, even more intimate than usual, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

He slowly pushed inside of me again, more controlled this time, never taking his eyes off mine. His brows were furrowed like they always were.

I ran my fingertips over his forehead and he relaxed under my touch. Then I trailed my fingers down his neck over his chest, enjoying the heat between us. I wanted to share everything I could with him. I squeezed him and he groaned, the wrinkles on his forehead back in full force.

“You’re perfect” his voice was hoarse.

“Taron” I sighed “You know that’s not true”

I had my flaws, just like any other person.

He continued to move in and out of me and that familiar tension started building deep inside of me.

“You’re perfect for me. We are perfect for each other” he breathed out.

And I got his meaning. I wanted this to last forever, him loving me and me loving him. Perfect for each other didn’t mean getting everywhere right, it just meant not giving up, trusting each other and being in it forever. And life had been horrible for the both of us at some point, but it also brought us here, being together and having our one year old girl who meant more to us than anyone else in the world. I had never been more happy.

His fingers changed direction and I squirmed under his touch, wanting to hold off my orgasm, wanting to stay like this for a while longer.

“Don’t hold back” he groaned and he added a thumb to my clit.

My breath hitched and I opened my mouth to speak, but only moans came out.

His eyes bore through mine as he sped up his hip movement and bent towards me, heading for my lips. I wanted him to kiss me but he moved away, heading for my collarbone.

I moaned. He was such a tease.

He licked a hot line across my collarbone and my hands threaded through his hair.

“I’m going to spend the rest of our lives making you feel like this” his voice was breaking.

My heart stopped for a split-second before picking up pace. I gave in and let my orgasm overtake me, flowing from my skin and across his as he jerked inside of me, groaning my name.

This had felt more like forever than everything else before.

He kissed my neck as he stayed on top of me and I wriggled under him, enjoying the feeling of his thighs against mine.

“You’re killing me” he groaned as he got up to take care of the condom.

He came back in no time and I sighed. “Right back at you, you tease”

He grinned. Oh, he knew exactly what he could do to me.

I ran my hand over his chest as my head lay on his collarbone and I could hear his heartbeat starting to slow down.

“We don’t get to do this quite often enough” I whispered.

His grip around my waist tightened “I know”

He kissed me on my hair and I looked up to him. He caressed my cheek before dropping a soft kiss to my lips.

I wanted moments like these to never change. And I was sure he would struggle when he would have to go back to work in a few days. I was a bit worried not having him around all the time but I was sure I could manage. But Taron seemed really uneasy thinking about being away all day.

We broke away eventually, at our own pace while our daughter was still fast asleep.

I ran my hands through his hair and he sighed.

“There is something I wanted to ask you” he said quietly.

I met his beautiful green brownish eyes and I knew there was something on his chest. I thought it was all about work, but right now I wasn’t so sure anymore.

“What is it?” I asked.

He exhaled audibly before he took in a deep breath.

“Have you ever thought about –“ his eyes moved between mine “about having more children?”

I gulped as I felt my body tingling. Of course I had. How could I not when I saw him with our daughter every day?

“I have” I answered honestly, never taking my eyes off his “I do want more”

“Really?” Taron’s face lit up with happiness, his smile spreading across his face.

“Really” I felt like swooning “I don't want Lou to be an only child”

He kissed me on the cheek as he pulled me into a tight hug “It’s like you read my mind, babe”

“Actually –“ he sat up and moved out from under the duvet, walking away.

I whined “Come back to bed”

He chuckled and I watched his naked ass in all its glory as he opened the closet and looked for something.

“I know it’s Lou’s birthday and not yours but I got you something anyway”

He smiled as he turned around and I barely noticed the box in his hands because I was too focused on his body. He knew I had checked him out when I met his eyes, they were narrowed and he smirked.

I shivered at the thought of what he could do to me, body and soul.

He handed me a small box and I cuddled myself against him when he was under the duvet again. He wrapped his arm around my waist, rubbing tiny circles into my skin.

Nobody would ever comfort or love me like he did.

“You didn’t have to get me anything” I smiled.

“I wanted to” he cupped my face with his other hand.

I smiled as I looked at him, but I saw worry in his features.

What was wrong?

“Open it” he whispered.

“Thank you” I whispered and dropped a quick kiss to his lips.

But whenever we kissed I had a hard time pulling away quickly. But he seemed nervous about my reaction so I didn’t want to keep him in suspense any longer.

I removed the lid and giggled when I found little red baby shoes inside.

“I know she can’t walk yet” he whispered as he pulled me closer to him “but I thought these would be great first shoes”

I took them out, admiring how little and cute they were “They’re lovely, Taron”

He smiled “I hoped you like them”

“I love them” I whispered and cupped his cheek “And I love _you_ ”

His smile widened and I saw a sparkle in his eyes I hadn’t seen before. He seemed so unbelievably happy. And I got it, because I felt the same way.

“Turn the left shoe over” he whispered.

I frowned while I smiled at him, but did as he said.

I gasped when a ring dropped on the duvet between us.

“I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you" Taron whispered “And us being surrounded by our children. You saved me and I’m finally happy. So happy I never thought I could be”

“We saved each other” my voice was breaking and I started sobbing.

Taron smiled at me and I saw that tears filled his own eyes too.

“We have been through so much. And life brought us together after everything. I know we can face everything coming our way” he cupped my face and I wiped the tears from my eyes so I could see him more clearly.

“Because we are stronger together”

I nodded, my lower lip and chin quivering.

He ran his hand through my hair and wiped another tear from my face.

“Will you marry me?” his voice was breaking, his eyes so full of tears “And make me so much happier than I already am?”

My smile widened and I had to laugh when a tear made his way down his face too. I reached up and cupped it away and he chuckled.

“Of course I will marry you” I whispered, my voice hoarse.

His smile was brighter than anything I had seen before.

“Don’t tell me you worried about my answer” I smiled “I love you beyond belief”

He chuckled and rolled his eyes playfully “I have been waiting for the right moment for weeks. But I just couldn’t take it any longer”

“Every moment is perfect as long it’s the three of us”

Taron moved in closer and I was waiting for him to kiss me. His lips were mere inches from mine.

“I never thought I could love someone the way I love you”

My heart leaped. How was my man such a hopeless romantic?

I smiled against his lips and ran my hands up his arms and to his neck to pull him to me. His lips met mine so softly, so tenderly. We poured so much love into the kiss I felt like I had gone to heaven.

“Wait” he whispered between kisses.

I frowned as he pulled away.

“Give me your hand” he smiled.

I had a hard time dragging my left hand away from his naked back. I had totally forgotten about the ring. He took it from the duvet and put it on my ring finger while my belly fluttered.

I gasped, only now taking in the beauty of the small ring, with a small diamond. It was perfect.

“It was my gran's ring” he whispered.

My belly flipped at what it meant for him to give it to me. I knew his gran had been so important to him. New tears formed in my eyes.

“It’s so beautiful, Taron” I smiled, looking up from the ring to his eyes.

“You’re so beautiful” he whispered as he oh so slowly rolled me to my back.

My breath hitched and I smiled up at him, enjoying the feeling of so much happiness I felt like my chest would burst.

“Future Mrs. Egerton” he whispered before he dropped his lips to mine but I pulled away.

He frowned and I had to hold back grinning “Who said I would take your name?”

He knew me well enough to know I was teasing him. He chuckled.

“You’re such a tease” he smiled.

“Right back at you, Mr. Egerton” I grinned.

“You love it” he winked as he pinned me down under him.

“I love you” I whispered.

He cupped my face in both of his hands and smashed his lips to mine.

Being with him felt perfect. Our own kind of perfect.


	34. Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some twists and turns and both POV.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

**Taron**

We told our friends and my family and they were so excited and happy for us. I felt like I would burst with pride and happiness. It had me wondering if Milly would ever tell her family about us. She always swerved the topic and I knew she was sensitive but it had me wondering what was going on. I was sure it meant a lot to her for her family to come to our wedding. But then she also never told them about Lou either.

My heart was focused because I had to go back to work. I loved my job, but I dreaded not seeing my girls all day.

“Bye babe” Milly kissed me while she held our daughter and I pulled them both to me.

I gulped when we pulled away and I knew this was it. I had to leave.

“Kick their asses” she smiled at me.

I grinned “I’ll be home as soon as I can”

She caressed my cheek and I knew I would miss her touch too “We will still be here when you get home” she whispered.

I laughed “You better” I winked

I kissed our daughter on her forehead and she waved me goodbye.

This might have been the hardest walk I had ever had, walking away from them, even if it was only for a few hours.

Once I was at work I focused on the task at hand and quickly became all caught up with my role of Eggsy again.

But week after week flew by and I missed my family more than anything. I watched the videos and photos Milly sent me every day, and Lou started speaking more, she started trying to walk and I wasn’t there.

I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my body. What would that mean to my job and my family?

“Taron” I heard a familiar voice behind me.

I turned around and smiled “Colin, hey. How are you?”

“Good, good” he said “How are you? I heard you’re engaged?”

My smile widened “I am. Could be happier if it wasn’t for work” I grimaced.

“Well who wouldn’t want to quit all this for family” he gestured around and I knew what he meant.

Set life wasn’t all that glamorous what it was made out to be.

“Yeah” I sighed.

“You’re lucky, Taron” he said as he put one hand on my shoulder “Hold on to her, she’s a keeper”

“All of this –“ he referred to set life “isn’t important if you have a love like that”

I smiled. I knew that. And I would never let her go.

I was at home late one night and Lou was already asleep. I watched her sleep while I looked at the memories pinned on the wall. There was a picture of Milly and Lou after birth, of the three of us and of Lou’s first birthday. But then there were pictures I could only look at and not know what that moment had been like.

“Taron”

I turned around to find Milly walking towards me. I lightly smiled at her before I focused on the pictures again.

“Memories to be made” she smiled, repeating the exact wording I had told her when I had shown her this room.

I gulped “Yeah. Except I’m not a part of all of them”

Her hand went around my lower back and she pulled me into a hug. This was what I had needed. I relaxed against her and pulled her tighter to me.

“I’m not sure how much longer I can do this” I whispered.

I felt her breath against my neck and she loosened her arms around my waist so I let go of her.

“What other options do you have?” she asked calmly.

I thought about it. I had to finish shooting and promoting this movie for sure. But after that?

“I could take a break after this movie” I said.

Milly’s eyes widened slightly “I don’t want you to put your career at stake”

I cupped her beautiful face in both my hands “The only thing I care about is my family”

**Milly**

My heart jumped. I loved him so much and he was willing to sacrifice his career for me and our child?

“I mean –“ he sighed “What about when we have more children? I want to be a part of their lives and their development too”

Ovaries explosion right there.

“Taron, I –“ I sighed “We will find a way”

“I want to do this” I felt his breath on my face “Let me do this”

I smiled, drowning in his green eyes. Our daughter looked more and more like him every day.

“Whatever you decide will be great” I said.

I believed in him. And I trusted him.

The corners of his mouth curved upward ever so slightly “Yeah?”

“Yeah” I smiled.

I reached up and ran my hand through his beautiful thick brown hair and had to stifle giggling.

“This is giving me Eggsy vibes”

Taron tightened his grip around my waist “Maybe because I _am_ playing Eggsy?”

He was such a tease.

“Maybe” I grinned.

His mouth met mine in a soft kiss and I already felt my knees weakening. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he picked me up, not breaking the kiss until he lay me down in our bed. The moves this man was capable of, and to think I would get to experience this until the rest of my life until we were both grey and old.

I woke up the next morning and reached over to find the bed beside me empty. I whined and slowly opened my eyes to find a note on his side of the bed.

_Had to go to work early._

_Love you and miss you_

_T_

I sighed and sat up before focusing on our daughter. She was so confused because she was missing dada every day. I didn’t even tell Taron, because it would break his heart even more.

I dressed her and took her to the nearest park where we met up with Amanda.

“Hey you” she pulled me into a hug before looking at Lou in her stroller.

She stared back at Amanda and smiled lightly.

“Hey, how are you?” I asked.

She smiled “Paul and I are better than ever”

“Oh, I’m so happy for you” I really was.

“Thanks” she said as we sat down on one of the benches overlooking the London skyline.

“But what about you?” she grinned “Did you talk about a wedding date yet?”

I looked down “Not yet”

If anything, it would make sense to set the wedding for after Taron was done shooting Kingsman.

“What’s up?” Amanda asked.

I glanced over at her “I thought about my family recently. You know, I always imagined them being at my wedding –“

I gulped.

“You could invite them” Amanda shrugged “And leave the past in the past”

I sighed as I glanced at my beautiful daughter. I was so scared.

“I don’t know if I want that. If I can do that” I let out a breath.

“That depends on how important it is to you to have your family there”

But there was one person I would always miss.

I sighed “Yeah. I’ll have to think about it, but –“

Change of topics.

“Will you be my bridesmaid?” I asked her.

Her smile widened “I would love to”

I got back home later that day and realised Taron still wasn’t home. I missed him, but I also loved him so much for putting his career on hold for us once this was over.

I picked up my phone and sighed as I strolled through my contacts.

I glanced at Lou who was playing with one of her toys and babbling. Was I a good mom? Surely, I was making mistakes too.

I inhaled deeply and hit “Call.”

“Hello? Milana, is it really you?”

My breath hitched. Nobody had called me by my real name for years.

“Mom?” I answered.

She gasped “I’m so happy you’re calling. How are you, dear?”

I smiled lightly. Had it been my fault for breaking the bond between us? But I knew the answer to that.

I gulped “Hi mom. I just wanted to tell you that – that I’m getting married”


	35. Brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Want to know why Milly never talked about her family? Find out!

**Taron**

I took the car back home that night and checked my phone. Milly hadn’t texted me for the last three hours and I was starting to worry. Normally, she sent me a picture or video almost every hour and I loved her even more for it. It felt like I was there, even if I wasn’t.

I quietly unlocked the front door because Lou was probably already asleep.

“Hey Taron” Milly walked towards me and pulled me into a hug.

I sighed against her “Hi babe. How was your day?”

She pulled away and I saw her chin was wobbling.

“Hey” I whispered as tears welled up in her eyes.

“Is something wrong with Lou?” Worry panged through me.

She shook her head “No, Lou is perfect” she sniffled.

“Then what is it?” I whispered.

She just shook her head and shrugged “Sorry. I don’t even want to bother you. I’m sure you had a stressful day”

Today had been stressful but I wanted to know why she was upset. I loved her and wanted to make her feel better.

“Come on” I wrapped my arm around her and we walked towards the couch.

She sighed and moved away from me. I frowned.

“What’s wrong?” I asked quietly.

“I don’t know how to tell you” she whispered “I –“

I had never seen her that upset, so hurt.

“We can face everything together” I whispered, laying my hand on her thigh.

She let out a breath “I called my mom earlier. I wanted to tell her about the wedding and –“

She sobbed.

“Oh babe” I pulled her to me and hugged her “What happened?”

She cried into my shoulder and I knew that this was what love meant. A shoulder to lean on, being there for each other no matter what. It broke my heart to see her like this.

“It just brought up all these memories” she sobbed.

“Which memories?” I asked as I stroked her back.

Maybe she wasn’t ready to tell me.

She pulled away and wiped the tears out of her face. I handed her a tissue and she blew her nose.

“I should’ve told you a long time ago” she rolled her eyes.

“Hey” I cupped her face “I love you. You can tell me everything”

“Okay” she let out a breath “I have been in an accident years ago” she sniffled.

My heart stopped for a second. Her too?

“What?” I asked quietly “When?”

She looked at me and her eyes were so full of tears I almost started crying too.

“I –“ she exhaled.

I wrapped my arms around her to comfort her.

She glanced at me “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you”

Why was she sorry? She must have had her reasons for not telling me.

“Do you want to talk about what happened?” I ran my hand through her soft hair.

She blew her nose again “It was years ago, before I even moved to London”

I ran my hand over her back, waiting for her to continue.

New tears filled her eyes and she started sobbing again “My brother died”

My heart skipped a beat. I had no idea she had lost her brother. I basically knew nothing about her family.

“We were driving home after being at the National Athletics championships” she started “And we were all in the car, singing to the music”

She wiped the tears from her eyes and let out a breath.

“We got hit by another car and –“ she cleared her throat “My dad lost control of the car and –“ her voice broke.

Tears filled my own eyes. How could she have been through so much and still be that wonderful woman I loved so much?

She sniffled “I only remember the slicing sound of the car, sliding along the central barrier and everything after that is a blur” she shivered.

“Oh babe” I whispered, my own voice hoarse “I’m so sorry”

She didn’t meet my eyes as she spoke “Apparently the car flipped over and hit a bridge and my brother sat on the side that got hit and –“

She started crying again and I pulled her into a hug “I’m so sorry this happened to you”

She cried into my shoulder and I tried to soothe her but I couldn’t even imagine what she had gone through.

**Milly**

I snuffled as I pulled away from him. I should have told him months ago. He would hate me for not telling him.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I understand if you don’t want to marry me anymore”

I felt him freeze and just couldn’t meet his eyes. I imagined the worst-case scenario, and I couldn’t even blame him.

“Why would I not want to marry you?” he whispered “I love you”

I finally met his eyes and found tears in his own eyes too “I should’ve told you”

He ran his hand over my arm. I could only ever relax under his touch. Only he had made me feel at home after all these years not seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.

“It doesn’t change anything” he said “I still love you. Hell, I will always love you”

I smiled lightly even though I still had tears in my eyes.

“You know –“ I exhaled “I was so scared when you got hit by a car and –“ I gulped.

“Hey babe” he kissed me on the cheek and pulled me to him again “I get that. It’s no surprise you were so worried after everything you have been through”

I let out a breath “I tried to move on but –“

Losing my brother was the worst thing that had ever happened to me.

“You’ve been through so much” he whispered “I can’t even imagine what it’s like to lose a family member –“

He stopped speaking when my brows furrowed and I sobbed again.

“Yeah” I fiddled with my fingers “I was so close to my brother”

“I’m so sorry babe” he ran his hand over my back again.

I loved him so much for comforting me. For not being mad at me.

“I just thought that –“ I exhaled “that I could move on”

I shrugged “I tried for years but I couldn’t. So I did the only thing I could think of. A new environment”

Taron smiled half-heartedly before he dropped a kiss to my hair as I lay my head on his shoulder “Thank fuck for that. Or we never would have met”

I had to grin, even though I was so sad.

“Language, Taron”

I heard him chuckle “It’s a special occasion”

“I was a coward” I whined “I ran away from my family and left everyone behind”

“I’m sure they understood” he whispered. “Everyone copes differently with a loss like that”

I shrugged. I wasn’t so sure. My parents basically lost both their children because I had been so selfish.

“I didn’t talk to them for so many years. Because I just couldn’t bring myself to relive these memories”

Nobody knew except for Amanda and now Taron.

“You were so brave” he whispered and ran his hand over my arm “For leaving everything behind and starting fresh”

I had never seen it as such. I had always felt like a coward, and that people died around me. That was why I had been so anxious about Taron’s accident, and almost losing the baby.

“I don’t know what I would have done without you” I whispered.

“Right back at you” he chuckled “And none of what happened was your fault”

How did he know that I blamed myself for everything that had happened?

I let out a sigh “I was a horrible sister and daughter. I just hope I’m not a horrible mother”

Suddenly, all my worries and fears seemed to make sense.

“You could never be a horrible mother” I felt Taron’s hand tighten around my waist.

“You’re biased” I had to smile.

“No, I’m not”

I looked up to meet his eyes and he was so sincere, so genuinely sad about what I had gone through.

“I love you” he whispered again “And I’ll be there for you and Lou, no matter what happens”

“And I love you” I whispered back “so much”

I was so incredibly scared of having them ripped out of my life like my brother.

Taron pulled me into a hug again and I relaxed against his body.

I sighed “I have thought about inviting them to the wedding, but I don’t know if I should”

“It’s your choice babe” Taron said “But I’m sure they would love to be here”

I grimaced “I thought they would never forgive me for running away, but my mom was so relieved to hear from me”

I paused “But I miss my brother so much and he will never be able to be there”

“You don’t know that” Taron said quietly “He is with you all the time”

He put his hand over my heart and it jumped.

I looked up at him again “Do you really believe that?”

He smiled lightly “I do”

“I have never been so close to anyone as I was to him. He was like my soulmate” I sighed.

Then I glanced at Taron, his eyes so green.

There was one more thing he had to know “He was my twin”

Taron’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline “You’re a twin?”

I smiled half-heartedly before I turned sad again “I was. Not anymore”

He cupped my cheek and I looked into his beautiful green eyes again.

“Don’t blame yourself for his death. It wasn’t your fault. You spent all your life together, of course you miss him”

I nodded slowly and Taron pulled his hands away “I guess. It broke my heart to lose him”

“Thank you for being there for me, Taron” I smiled lightly.

“Always” he whispered.

I couldn’t believe he accepted me just the way I was, and even after everything that had happened.

“I love you” I whispered, and now I was the one who pulled him into a hug.

He wrapped his arms tighter around me and I sighed in relief.

We slowly pulled away and our lips met as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Because it was.


	36. Firsts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know I haven't updated this in a while. I hope this chapter is what you have been waiting for!

A few weeks had passed since I had told Taron everything about my family. But he still loved me no matter what. I didn’t know what I had done to deserve a man like that. Lou was growing so fast I felt like I could barely keep track.

I was so thankful Lou had taken her first steps when Taron was around and not at work. I really did believe it would have crushed his heart otherwise. She was still walking a bit unsteady and her dad was there to catch her from falling.

I waited for the happiness to fade, but it didn’t. Yet I was so incredibly nervous about meeting my parents again after all these years, even though it was my family. I was scared they hated me for not talking to them in that long. And for keeping their granddaughter from them.

The door bell rang and my eyes shot to Taron’s.

“You can do this” he reassured me, putting one of his hands on my thigh while Lou was sitting on his lap and he held her with the other.

I got up and pressed the buzzer for them to come up.

“Mom, dad” my voice was quivering when I saw them appear in the hallway.

I almost started crying. Because I only now realised how much I had missed them.

“Darling” my mom pulled me into a hug and I knew she had missed me just as much, probably more.

“Dad” I sniffled once we had broken apart and my dad hugged me too.

“Come on in” I stepped aside, wiping my nose with a tissue.

They walked past me and I turned around, closing the door. Then I saw Taron and Lou walking towards us, her little hand in his big one. I would never get over seeing the two of them together.

“Meet my fiancée Taron and our daughter Louisa” I said, my voice full of emotions.

“Hi, how are you?” Taron asked, and I didn’t think I had ever seen him that unsure before.

What my parents didn’t expect was that Taron was a hugger so he pulled both of them into a hug.

And it turned out my parents were totally smitten with him and our girl. We sat down on the couch and Taron eventually stared to play tea party with Lou to distract her. I could watch them for hours and every moment with the two of them seemed perfect. Even Taron drinking imaginable tea out of an empty cup.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you earlier” I said to my parents “I was just –“

I let out a breath. I didn’t even know how to explain in which kind of state I had been in.

“Don’t worry about it darling” my mom said “Of course we have missed you but we understand why you left after Tom died”

I shivered. I hadn’t heard his name for the last eight years.

“I know” I gulped “But I still should have stayed with you. I didn’t want you to lose us both”

My dad wrapped one arm around me “The most important thing is that you’re happy”

It almost sounded like a question.

“I am happy” I looked up when I saw that Taron was back with Lou. “I have never been so happy” I smiled at him and he returned my smile.

“I have never seen you so happy” my mom smiled “And I’m happy you have found such an amazing man to share your life with”

I grinned over to Taron and his eyes sparkled.

My man. My little family.

Taron’s nervousness had been replaced by happiness. He seemed relieved I got along well with my parents, but also that they loved him. I told my parents everything there was to tell about the last few years and about how Taron and I met. My parents were astonished to say the least. Our story was definitely extraordinary, as was our love.

“We’re so excited for the wedding” my mom said, her voice full of excitement.

I smiled “Yeah” I met Taron’s eyes reflecting the love I saw in them every day “We are too”

“It won’t be a big ceremony. Just our closest friends and family” Taron added.

The wedding felt like it was far away even though it wasn’t. Taron had wrapped up filming and he still had to attend a few events such as press conferences and red carpets for the premiere. He had insisted I should come with him for the premieres and I was pretty nervous about all of it.

Actually, the first premiere was in London. And it was tonight.

“Thank you so much for coming and looking after Lou” I smiled.

“Of course, darling” my mom smiled “We’re so happy to be here”

“And hopefully we can meet more often and you could come visit us sometime”

I glanced at Taron and he seemed to agree “We would love that”

I almost started crying again. If I didn’t know any better, I would think I was pregnant again.

Lou loved her grandparents. They pampered her just like it was supposed to be and I watched them. I knew she would be in great hands tonight, yet it still felt wrong to not have her with us tonight.

But Lou didn’t seem to mind that she would be away from us. And that had me relieved. I would still bring my phone with me, just in case.

I was scared shitless about facing the media. I still didn’t have my old weight back and I was worried about what they would think of me. Taron said it didn’t matter, but it did matter to me.

**Taron**

Today had been amazing. I knew how worried Milly had been, how she had thought about whether or not she should invite her parents. I had always told her family was everything and I knew she agreed with me. Because our family meant the most to the two of us.

And her worries had been for nothing. Her parents had been so lovely and happy. They seemed to quite like me too which had me relieved. I didn’t know what I would have done otherwise.

They were taking care of Lou while we hit the red carpet for the world premiere of Kingsman 3. I was dreading it, even though I was proud of how the movie turned out. But I would much rather spend the night at home with my family than being surrounded by tons of cameras.

I adjusted my cuff links and straightened my suit.

“What do you think?” Milly turned around so I could take in her outfit.

I took her in, wearing a simple dark blue lace dress. I was matching her with my dark blue velvet suit.

I smiled “I love it”

“You do?” she sounded worried. And nervous.

“Yes” I wrapped my arms around her waist “You’re beautiful, no matter what you wear”

“You say that” she pointed her forefinger at my chest “But I don’t want to look like I don’t belong there”

“There is nothing wrong with that” I reassured her “I don’t belong there either. Not anymore.”

She grinned “Maybe. But you look the part”

She reached under my suit jacket and wrapped her arms around me.

I sighed and pulled her closer to me.

After our stylist had done Milly’s hair and makeup, as well as mine, we headed for the premiere. It was all part of the circus and Milly was stunning. I still preferred how she looked when she woke up in the morning, smiling at me even though she was tired as hell.

“What are you thinking about?” she asked as she lay her hand on top of mine.

I turned my hand around and intertwined our fingers “I thought about how much I love how you look like when you wake up in the morning”

She grimaced “That’s not beautiful”

“It is” I said, my voice sincere “I love you that way”

Her lips twitched and curved into a smile “I love you every way”

I raised my eyebrows “Oh really? Do tell”

She leaned in closer and I felt her breath against my ear. I shivered. Then she whispered ever so quietly what she wanted to do to me tonight. And what she wanted me to do to her.

I closed my eyes when I exhaled. We were almost there, but I still turned my head and crashed my lips to hers.

She smiled against my mouth and kissed me back before she quickly pulled away.

Only then I heard people screaming outside of the car and adjusted my clothes.

“Don’t be nervous” I said as I put my hand on her bare knee “They’ll love you”

“You say that because you love me” she playfully rolled her eyes.

I didn’t think I had ever seen her that nervous before. Not even this morning when her parents arrived.

“You’re smart, kind, cute, sexy and beautiful as fuck”

She giggled “Language, Taron”

“Not tonight” I grinned, repeating the words from our night together a few months ago.

And I knew she had gotten the hint. Because she seemed quite distracted with the memory and her worried vanished.

“Are you ready?”

She gulped “As ready as I’ll ever be”

They opened the door for me before they opened the door for her. We both got out of the car and I couldn’t focus on what happened around us. Cameras clicking, people screaming. I could only focus on her.

I turned the car and took my hand in hers.

“Okay?” I asked.

She smiled nervously “I think so”

We walked down the red carpet together and I never took my hand off her. It was surreal to have the journalists call our names from the top of their lungs. I had been used to it in the past, but everything felt so different now.

Especially when they realised Milly was wearing an engagement ring. That was when shit got real. We smiled at each other as we moved over the red carpet and I knew they loved her. Because she made me so unbelievably happy.

I had to head for some interviews while Milly stood away from the cameras. I hated that I had to leave her side, but it was what it was. I looked over to her every now and then to see how she was doing and she seemed to relax more.

Once the interviews were done, I walked back to her and took her hand in mine again.

“All right?” I asked.

She smiled “Yeah. You?”

“I’m good” I smiled back at her.

I loved to have her by my side.


	37. Wedding

We were on a high when we left the premiere. It was as if a weight had been lifted both of our shoulders as we arrived back home.

I finally stepped out of my heels and groaned. My feet were hurting like hell. I wasn’t a heel person as it was. I loved my trainers to run after my girl.

“You were great tonight” he whispered as he pulled me closer to him

“Thank you” I smiled at the man I loved so much “It was all a bit surreal”

Taron chuckled “Yeah. I know”

But I felt like there was something he wasn’t telling me.

I hesitated “I don’t want you to give all that up just because of our family”

He frowned before he dropped a quick, soft kiss to my lips. My man was seriously too much to handle sometimes.

“It was my choice” he said quietly “And I choose my family”

My heart leaped every time he talked about his family. Our family.

My smile widened and I groaned “Urgh. I can’t wait to marry you”

He chuckled and ran his fingers over my bare arm, tender and softly.

“So” he drew out the word “What do we do tonight all by ourselves?”

Our foreheads rested against each other and my hands were around his back. It was weird to not have Lou around, but we knew she was in good hands. And I couldn’t wait to have my almost husband all to myself all night long.

I grinned “I can think of a few things”

There was a fire burning in his eyes that lit up my body “Oh do tell”

His voice was low.

I leaned in closer and whispered sweet and naughty things into his ear. I could hear his breath hitch before he pulled me to him and our lips met for a passionate kiss. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried us to our bedroom.

For a night of pleasure.

I woke up the next morning and smiled. Taron was laying behind me and his arm was tightly wrapped around my front. I stretched and turned around in his embrace and he groaned ever so lightly.

“Morning” I whispered, smiling as I stroked his cheek.

“Oh babe” he barely opened his eyes “Was last night a dream?”

I laughed “No, it wasn’t”

“Will we pick up Lou or will your parents bring her over?” he asked.

I had to smile. I wasn’t surprised we were talking about our daughter. Because it was awkward to wake up without her waking us, without her by our side.

“Let me check my phone” I got up and walked to the hallway, where I had left my phone last night.

I checked the text from my mom.

_< <Lou is perfect. You can pick her up whenever you’re ready. We’re off to the park for now. Love, mom>>_

I smiled.

I looked up from my phone as I walked back into the bedroom to find Taron look me up and down. Oh yes, I was only wearing one of Taron’s shirts which barely coved anything.

“My mom texted me that we can pick her up when we’re ready” I said, my voice calmer than my insides were.

“Oh” I gasped as I lay down on the bed again, opening a text from Amanda.

It read _< <Did you see this? You two are so cute>>_

I opened the photo and it was a screenshot from an article. I felt Taron stroke my bare thigh as I read it.

_Taron Egerton and almost wife Milly hit the red carpet for Kingsman 3 last night. Taron stopped for a quick chat with our reporter and we had the time to ask him what he had planned after this._

_“I’m taking time off for my family” he said. We asked him what it meant for him to have his woman by his side for the premiere._

_“It’s very important to me that she’s here” he shrugged “She’s the love of my life and the mother of my children”_

I sniffled as I read the rest of the article with pictures of me and Taron in between. We actually looked like quite the couple and I didn’t look as bad as I had expected.

I glanced over to Taron and he frowned.

“What is it, babe?” there was worry in his voice.

I smiled “Do you have any idea how much I love you?”

I handed him my phone and he read it too.

Then he looked at me and the corners of his lips twitched.

“What? I just said the truth”

I wanted to shake him. Why did he have no clue how lovely he was?

I lightly shook my head as I studied his face.

“I love you” I whispered as I leaned in closer.

His arm went around my waist and pulled me to him as we kissed. Our lips moved against each other’s so familiarly and I loved it. We deepened the kiss and I moaned as he rolled me to my back.

I gasped when his hand travelled under the shirt I wore, up my thighs over my ass, over my waist and down my belly.

“You know” my breathing was shallow “I can’t believe you talked about children”

As in plural.

We had talked about having more children. And it gave me goose bumps to even think about carrying his baby again.

“You still want that, right?” Taron sounded worried.

I smiled “Of course I still want that”

“And…” I continued as I let my hand travel over his naked front “I’m happy to try for one”

His breath hitched when I moved my hand into his boxer briefs.

We had almost been up all night, loving each other. One would think we were worn out, but it had only seemed to intensify our feelings for one another.

I moaned when I sank down on him oh so slowly. We both groaned and his hands went to my hips. My head fell back and I gasped as we moved together.

We had stopped using protection a while ago. And it derailed me every single time what he felt like bare inside of me. I never ever wanted him to move back out. I wanted to try for a sibling for Lou every second of every day.

I leant down to kiss him and he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him and sitting up together with me.

The change in angle had me going into overdrive.

“Taron” I moaned.

He exhaled shakily “I know”

He rolled me on to my back just the way I loved it and pushed into me hard and deep. I could feel myself reaching the edge yet again and gasped when that delicious familiar feeling hit my body.

He groaned as I started to shake around him and grinded inside of me.

My mouth fell open and my eyes scrunched shut when I gave in to my orgasm racing through my body, seemingly lasting forever, but still not long enough.

I opened my eyes on exhale to watch him lose it as he came with my name on his lips. His beautiful full lips that were so dry and swollen from all the kissing since last night.

He stayed inside of me as we both came down, our heart rates returning back to normal.

He stroked my cheek and I smiled up at him.

“Let’s get our daughter” I whispered eventually.

As much as I loved being in bed with him all day, I missed her.

**A few months later**

Taron and I spent that night together, even if it was the night before the wedding. But we were a family already.

So, the next day, we got ready together and I could barely take my eyes off Taron. He looked so dashing in his suit, but it wasn’t just that. I was so happy and excited for where our life together would lead us.

And Taron seemed to feel the same way about me. Because he couldn’t drag his eyes away from me either.

“You’re so beautiful” he whispered as he kissed me on the cheek.

“I can’t believe this is really happening” I beamed “If it wasn’t for our daughter’s birth, I would say this is the best day of my life”

He grinned “I know”

We looked at our daughter who was two years old, wearing a cute white dress. She was our flower girl.

It was unusual that we arrived at the wedding together, but I loved everything about it. Taron and I hugged everyone before they all walked inside.

Taron and I walked down the aisle together, our daughter walking in front of us, leaving leaves of roses in her path.

He squeezed my hand in his as if he knew I was emotional. Hell, he knew me better than I knew myself.

We both sniffled and laughed through our vows. And when I slipped a gold wedding band on his ring finger, my belly somersaulted. This was better than I ever imagined it could be.

They pronounced us husband and wife and we kissed, barely able to contain our happiness and excitement.

Taron picked up our daughter and held her with his arm while having my hand in his. I lightly shook my head as I smiled from ear to ear.

I never thought my life would be so amazing. But everything had worked out in the end.

“Mrs Egerton” he whispered as he pulled me to him for our dance.

I was finally in his arms again and slung my hands around his neck and we kissed as we swayed together.

We eventually glanced over to our daughter clapping with excitement. She was playing with Nia and the two girls were so cute together.

It had me craving a little sister for her.


	38. Fertility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for some issues, but a much sweeter reunion

**Taron**

I rolled around and reached for Milly. When my hand just met the soft duvet, I slowly opened my eyes. The bed beside me was empty. I had to smile when I stared at my wedding ring. It had only been a few months and it still felt like yesterday.

“Daddy” I heard our little girl and looked to the door to find her walk inside with her teddy bear in her arms.

“Come here, darling” I lifted the duvet so she could slip under it.

She did, cuddling against me with her teddy bear on her belly.

“Oh, look who’s there” Milly smiled.

“Mommy” Lou said excitedly “Come here”

She smiled and lay down next to Lou. We were facing each other and Lou was laying between us. Our little girl who was growing so much. Time seemed to fly by.

I saw worry written in Milly’s features. We had tried for another baby for a while now, but it hadn’t happened until now. I wasn’t worried, because it might just take time, but Milly was starting to doubt herself.

“Are you excited for today?” Milly asked our girl.

She stroked a stray of hair out of her face.

“I am” Lou stated “We will go to the zoo!”

“That’s exciting” I said in my exciting daddy voice.

Milly smiled.

Sofie and Richard would take her together with Nia. So Lou was around a girl her age. But I knew something was up as Milly dressed her, Lou had no clue of course. She was way too excited and told us all about the kangaroos and tigers she wanted to see.

Sofie talked to Milly when they picked her up and Richard and I had a quick chat. We saw each other on a regular basis and were really close.

“I’m pregnant again” Sofie announced excitedly and my eyes shot to Milly.

She seemed excited, yet I knew her well enough to know she was upset.

“Hey that’s great news” I said “Congrats”

“I’m so happy for you” Milly smiled and we hugged both Sofie and Richard.

“That’s great news” she said “How far along are you?”

Sofie smiled “10 weeks. I thought we’d tell everyone before I was starting to show and media was all over us”

Milly laughed “Sounds reasonable”

Richard was quite successful with Marvel while I was practically away from screen. But I didn’t miss it. I just wished Milly was happier. Another baby wasn’t everything. I was so lucky I had her and Lou.

“What’s wrong?” I took her hand in mine after they had left for the zoo with Lou.

She looked down and didn’t meet my eyes “I got my period this morning”

I exhaled “There is nothing wrong with that. We will just keep on trying”

She met my eyes and she seemed sad. She didn’t let anyone see that but me. And I loved that she wore her emotions on her sleeve around me.

“Maybe it’s just me –“ she ran her hands over her body “Or my body. Maybe I just can’t get any more children”

“You don’t know that” I wrapped my arms around her “It might just take some time”

“But how much time?” she said quietly “We’ve tried for months now”

A thought sprang to my mind “I could get tested? Maybe I can’t have children because of the accident. Or at least not the normal way”

Her lips twitched ever so lightly “It’s not you”

I cupped her face in my hands and stared into her beautiful eyes “It could be me. And I don’t want you to beat yourself up”

She exhaled and pulled me into a hug.

I hugged her back and I was glad we could talk about everything. If getting me tested might change things, it was worth a try. Maybe she would have to get inseminated. Or maybe I couldn’t get her pregnant. If that was the truth, it was bad news. But at least it wouldn’t be Milly’s fault. It would be mine.

I went for a check up even though Milly insisted I didn’t need to do it. But I wanted to, for her. For us. But it turned out everything was fine.

“So it is me” Milly said sadly.

“It’s not you” I took her hand and intertwined her fingers with mine “It just takes time”

She slumped her shoulders and I wished I could help her. We were in no rush to have more kids, but worry was written all over her face.

**Milly**

I wanted to cry. I knew I was pressuring myself to get pregnant, and maybe that was why it didn’t happen. I was too stressed.

But what if there was an issue with my body?

I decided to make an appointment with my gynaecologist, just to be sure. I had to wait a few weeks for an appointment anyway.

She checked my vitals and did an ultrasound to check the ovaries and the uterus.

“Everything looks good” she stated eventually “There is no reason why you shouldn’t be able to be pregnant again”

I sighed in relief. That was good news.

“But why did it not happen yet? My husband and I tried for months now”

My doctor smiled lightly “It might take longer than a few months. You should check your fertility cycle. There are tracking bracelets on the market nowadays that help you with that. And just try to not put too much pressure on yourself. I know it’s hard”

I nodded and bit my lip.

I just needed to calm down. If it worked, it worked. If it didn’t, we had Lou. And Taron and Lou were my life.

“Okay, thank you” I said quietly.

“I’ll send in your blood so the vitals can be checked. Make sure you eat lots of green vegetables for the iron in your blood”

I got home and I was relieved. I unlocked the front door quietly since it was around lunch time and Lou was probably having her nap.

I found Taron sitting on the couch, tying away on his tablet.

“Hi babe” he got up when he saw me and pulled me into his hug.

I didn’t know how his hugs were still so perfect and made me feel so at ease.

I smiled at him and pushed my hands into the back of his sweat pants, standing flush against each other.

“What did she say?” he asked quietly, a little bit of worry edged into his voice.

I met his beautiful eyes “Good news” I smiled.

“She said everything looks fine. I might have to take some vitamins, but apart from that I’m fine”

Taron returned my smile before I had even finished my sentence. He pulled me closer to him and I sighed.

“See?” he whispered “You have nothing to worry about”

“I hope so” I said “I would love for Lou to have a sibling”

I had to think of my brother then. My twin brother.

My smile faded.

“I know you want that. Also because of what happened to your brother” Taron lowered his voice “And I’m sure she will have a brother or sister soon”

He could read my mind. I wasn’t even surprised anymore.

My belly fluttered “Well –“ I sighed.

“I know we didn’t get to experience my first pregnancy how we were supposed to –“

“And I still loved it. And Lou. And you” he whispered, his eyes staring into mine.

“I know but –“ I let out a breath “I want to experience all of it with you. Finding out we’re pregnant together, telling everyone, a baby shower, choosing a name”

I felt my skin starting to burn at the feeling of me being pregnant. But I also knew it wasn't all flowers and unicorns. But I wanted this, again. 

“Lou would be so excited”

Taron grinned “Oh, she totally would be”

I lay my head on his chest as he held me. I knew he would always be there for me, whether we had more children, or not.

“Lou is asleep” he said slowly “So why don’t we head for the bedroom?”

His voice was barely above a whisper. And it was low.

I dragged my head away from his chest and met his eyes. We stared at each other as the tension between us shifted. I stared at the wedding ring on my finger as I threaded my fingers through his hair and Taron blinked slowly.

He took my hand in his, intwining our fingers as we walked to our bedroom together. This was so much sexier than him carrying me there in the past. Because we were on the same page. Our eyes didn’t stray from each other’s until we reached the end of the bed.

I watched Taron as he stared at me. I wore just a boring everyday kind of skater dress, but he didn’t care. He always looked at me this way, no matter what I wore.

His mouth headed for mine and I expected him to kiss me but he didn’t. His mouth met my neck and I gasped as he licked my skin there, before moving lower.

My knees were already all wobbly. And I couldn’t remember a time when we hadn’t had sex. But the effects he had on me never wore off.

He ran his fingers up and down the sides of my body until he wrapped his arms around my body and pulled me closer to him. I sighed when his mouth finally met mine. We kissed softly like we always did but our lips were growing more urgent, needier.

I pushed my dress over my head and tossed it to the floor. I pushed Taron’s sweatpants down and ran my hands over his waist, down to his ass.

He unclasped my bra and I moved out of it. We were in no rush, but we just couldn’t slow this down.

Because his bare skin against mine, was the best feeling in the world.

“Taron” I sighed breathlessly when his hands caressed my naked body.

“You’re so beautiful” he whispered as he dropped to his knees in front of me.

My knees almost gave in. I knew what I was in for.

I wanted to tell him that he didn’t have to do it. But I knew I didn’t have a choice to make. He wanted to do this and hell, I wanted him to.

He kissed me over my panties, his hands gripping my hips tightly to steady me. But it was too much.

I didn’t want to move, his mouth was so perfect through the thin fabric of my panties. But I knew I would drop to the floor if he kept going.

But Taron knew that too. He moved us slowly, never breaking away until I felt the bed behind me. I sank down on it like my bones were made of jelly. He removed my panties oh so slowly and I should have been used to that by now, but I wasn’t.

I couldn’t describe how he made me feel. I could only feel. And enjoy.

His lips touched me and I bucked under him. I felt like I had never been as aroused as I was right now.

“Taron, please” I whimpered.

He just groaned in response as he kept going. I knew what he would say.

_Patience, babe._

My hands went into his hair, gripping him as he made more than sure that I was ready.

He was so thorough I felt like my heart would stop any second now.

Just when I felt like I couldn’t take any more, he pushed two fingers inside of me. My breath caught in my throat and I didn’t even think of catching my breath anymore.

I tensed and could feel myself reaching the edge. And Taron knew that. I felt like he knew my body better than I did. He continued his movements, not quickening, not slowing back down.

My orgasm caught me off guard when he added his tongue to the mix again and I came, my legs shaking and Taron holding me down and drawing every bit of pleasure out of me.

My eyes were watery when I opened them, and he wasn’t even inside of me yet. The best was yet to come. My nerve endings were sizzling at that thought.

“You know that wasn’t necessary, right?” I breathed out.

He smiled down at me “It was. Or do you think I don’t love to watch you come?”

“I know you do” I smiled and pulled him down to me.

We kissed, deeper and deeper and I spread my legs wider for him. Taron groaned when he settled between my legs.

“I never want to stop doing this” he whispered “Even when we have all the kids we have ever wanted”

My heart and body were so drawn to him, I knew I never wanted to stop doing this either.

I felt him at my entrance and gasped, but he retreated. I opened my eyes in confusion to watch him grab a pillow and move it under my butt as I lifted my lower back.

“What are you doing?” I asked in confusion.

Taron was back, dropping a quick and toe-curling kiss on my lips.

“I read that it increases the chances” he whispered.

Just when I wanted to answer he pushed into me, one inch at the time. I moaned at the change in angle and scrunched my eyes shut.

“Babe” he whispered “Open your eyes”

I did and saw that he was just as affected as I was. We were always reflecting each other’s love and need.

I exhaled deeply before inhaling “That change in angle –“

He retreated and pushed back in, sliding into me with ease.

“I know” his voice was rough “I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before”

I wanted to reply to him but only moans came out when he pushed back in deeply.

I couldn’t drag my eyes away from his, that we barely green now. They had darkened, just as mine.

He moved slowly, in and out at a pace I knew all too well, but he didn’t quicken it.

“Taron, please”

I arched my back to get him closer to me and he exhaled shakily. We were sweating against each other as we moved together.

“Fuck” he groaned as I could feel himself losing control.

And I was ready to give up my control. To feel my body shaking around his. To watch him when he came inside of me.

“Come with me” his voice was breaking.

I stared into his beautiful eyes, at his beautiful parted lips and pressed my lips to his. We kissed each other languidly before we had to break apart for air.

We both came together and felt him emptying himself deep inside of me. My legs shook and I held on to him as he pushed in one last time before relaxing. This had felt like any other time we had had sex before.

I loved this man so much I couldn’t put it into words.

He stayed inside of me as we continued to kiss as if we had all day. When he hardened inside of me again, we picked up right where we had left of.


	39. Pancakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm truly sorry for leaving you hanging for so long! There are different reasons why I couldn't write, but I promise I'm back.
> 
> I hope you like where this chapter goes. I'm thinking one more chapter and that's it!  
> Enjoy!

**Taron**

“Hey mate” I slapped Richard on the back when we hugged each other.

I wasn’t particularly happy to hit the gym, but I was always happy to be there with him. I felt like especially now, since we were both dad’s, we were closer than ever.

“Hi Taron” he chuckled “How’s it going?”

I just shrugged as I headed for the treadmill “We’re good. How is Sofie?”

He rolled his eyes playfully and I had to laugh.

“That bad, eh?”

I pressed a few buttons and started running. Richard did the same on the treadmill next to mine.

“She gets really grumpy towards the third trimester” he breathed out.

I smiled lightly and my brows were in a tight line when I picked up the pace. I wasn’t as fit as I used to be. But I wouldn’t change it for the world.

“How’s Milly?” he asked “And Lou?”

I smiled “Lou is great. She is growing so fast, I feel like I can’t catch up”

“I know the feeling” Richard chuckled “She’s what? Three in a few months?”

“Yeah” I drew out the word.

I still couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that Milly blamed herself for not being able to get pregnant again. As much as I would love to have a sibling for Lou, the most important thing was my family as it was now. If we couldn’t have more kids, so be it. But I wouldn’t want to lose my two girls, ever.

“Still no luck?” Richard asked, as if he was reading my mind.

I pressed my lips together before I exhaled loudly from running like a crazy person. I felt like I was running away from something. Or maybe towards something.

“She’s been distant lately. Like there is something she isn’t telling me” I breathed out.

“What do you think it is?” he asked.

I shrugged again “I wish I knew. We’re still good, great actually. But I wonder if she’s still thinking about her brother –“ I trailed off.

I couldn’t even imagine what it must have been like for her to lose her twin brother.

“But –“ I glanced over to find Richard frowning “Maybe because she’s really close with her parents now?”

“Maybe” I nodded “And it goes really well. They actually promised to move closer to us”

“That’s great, Taron!” he said, raising his voice.

I smiled lightly. He knew how important family was to me. Actually, we were about to head to Aber for a holiday soon.

“You could just ask her what’s wrong, you know?” Richard grinned.

I slowed down the pace on the treadmill and started to walk more slowly “I know”

I exhaled. Why was I even afraid to ask her what was wrong? She was my soul mate and we had talked about everything ever since we first met each other.

“I’ll do that” I used my towel to wipe the sweat off my face.

My white tee was drenched. I really should work out more often.

Richard said as he stepped off his treadmill and we headed towards the weight lifting.

We both groaned and I couldn’t wait to get home to have breakfast with my family.

**Milly**

Lou and I were in the middle of drawing when my phone pinged.

“Is daddy home soon?” Lou asked.

I smiled. She was such a daddy girl.

I reached for my phone to find a text from Taron.

_< <On my way home. See you in a bit x>>_

I smiled “He’s on his way”

“Yayyy” Lou clapped her hands together.

I smiled “Do we want to prepare breakfast?”

“Yes” Lou said dead-serious “I want pancakes”

I felt my belly flip at the mental image of pancakes. What was even wrong with me?

“Then let’s make pancakes for daddy” I smiled.

Lou was in her high chair in the kitchen, stirring the dough in her tiny pot, when the door unlocked.

Her eyes lit up when she realised daddy had just come home. Her eyes were so much like her dad’s and her excitement reminded me of how much I loved Taron.

“Daddy” she said excitedly and I got her out of her high chair and set her down on the floor.

She ran towards her daddy who was still in the hallway, getting out of his trainers. He reached for her and pulled her into a hug. Our daughter giggled.

“Again, again”

He whirled her around as if she weighted nothing.

I smiled as I watched the two of them together. I’d never get over moments like these.

“Hi daddy” I smiled.

He looked good, freshly showered and in shorts and a black tee. I knew he didn’t like working out, especially in the gym. I was sure as soon as we were in Aber for our holiday, he would run on the beach in the mornings. He missed nature in London, the parks just weren’t enough to make up for city life. And I knew I felt the same.

He dropped a quick kiss to my lips while holding our daughter with one arm “Hi babe”

“We’re making pancakes” Lou said proudly.

Taron smiled and rubbed her small belly “Great. Because I’m starving”

I had an odd feeling in my stomach when we sat down at the table. Was it the smell of pancakes? Since when did I not like pancakes?

Taron was in the middle of cutting the pancake for Lou while she added a spoon full of applesauce.

I felt sick to my stomach. If I didn’t know any better –

Oh wait.

“Excuse me one sec” I said quietly and Taron looked at me worriedly.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah” I walked over to the bathroom and ran the last bit when I realised I had to throw up.

I groaned and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.

I got up and stared at myself in the mirror before rinsing my mouth.

Did this mean what I thought it meant?

I walked back to our table and smiled when I saw Lou’s mouth was stuffed with pancakes.

“Are you all right?” Taron’s hand was around my waist as soon as I had sat down again.

I just nodded at him, indicating to talk later. He got the hint but seemed worried as hell that I couldn’t down even the tiniest piece of pancake.

Lou was too focused on her plate to notice and I was glad.

Taron insisted on cleaning the dishes and playing with Lou all morning. I watched the two of them in awe while I ran my hand over my belly before I even knew what had hit me.

My last pregnancy had started with odd feelings of nausea and later morning sickness. Was I really pregnant again?

I had taken so many tests over the last few months, thinking I was pregnant when I hadn’t been. I was scared to find out that this was false alarm yet again.

Taron put Lou down for her nap and closed her bedroom door behind him. I watched him as I walked towards me laying on the couch, a worried look on his face.

“What happened?” he asked quietly.

I sat up so he could sit down next to me. He wrapped one arm tightly around me and I leant against his shoulder.

“The smell of pancakes was somehow odd –“ I paused “I don’t know what hit me but I had to throw up”

Taron didn’t respond and I glanced at him to find him watching me.

“Do you think this means -?”

“That I’m pregnant?” I interrupted him.

I let out a breath “I don’t know”

“Hey” he cupped my face in one of his hands, stroking my hair out of my face with the other. “The results aren’t important. I will love you and Lou just the same no matter what happens”

My heart leaped and I felt like laughing and crying at the same time “I know. But –“

I didn’t even know what I wanted to say.

“You don’t have to take a test if you don’t want to” Taron said, his eyes as sincere as they always were.

I gulped “I know. But I want to know”

“Okay” Taron pulled me into a hug and I sighed against him “I’m here for you”

And here I was, in the bathroom, peeing on yet another stick. Suddenly flashbacks ran through my mind. Almost four years ago I peed on a stick at the gynaecologist’s and found out I was pregnant even thought I hadn’t been ready at the time. And then I had met Taron again and everything had changed. We had come such a long way since then.

I gulped and glanced at my watch to check the time. These few minutes waiting for the results always felt like ages.

I opened the bathroom door and walked back to the couch to find Taron on the edge of it.

“Come here” he got up and pulled me into a hug as soon as I reached him.

I smiled against him “I’m fine, Taron”

But he knew me better than that.

I let go of him and his eyes stared into mine, his arms still around my waist.

“I love you, no matter what” he whispered.

I smiled and felt tears form in my eyes “I love you, too”

I sat down on the couch and Taron sat down next to me. I glanced at my watch. Still a few more minutes.

“Distract me” I whispered.

He ran his hand over my back, up and down, soothingly. Then he reached for my face and I glanced into his beautiful eyes before my eyes dropped to his lips.

His mouth met mine, softly and tenderly. I felt like I needed him now more than ever and it didn’t really make sense.

Or maybe it did.

As if I didn’t know it already, he told me everything I needed to know through this kiss. How much he loved me, how glad he was to have me and our daughter in his life. And I told him just the same.

We broke away eventually and I almost forgot everything about the test.

But then Taron glanced at my watch and I followed his gaze.

“It’s time”

I got up from the couch, my legs a bit wobbly and waited for Taron to join me. He got up, reached for my hand and intertwined our fingers.

My belly flipped but also dropped the second we reached the bathroom door. One of us had to go in first.

I felt so sure of the result, yet so insecure.

“Do you want me to check the result?” Taron asked quietly, reassuringly squeezing my hand in his.

He truly knew me better than I knew myself.

I gulped and nodded “Please”

I let go of his hand as he stepped into the bathroom. I closed my eyes as I leant against the wall next to the bathroom door and let out a shaky breath.

This wouldn’t be a nightmare, no matter what. We had a baby we could be very proud of.

I opened my eyes again when I heard footsteps.

Taron held the stick in one hand, and intertwined our fingers with the other. He looked so emotional, his eyes tearing up. But this could go both ways.

I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Seconds felt like years.

Then he sobbed ever so quietly and I let myself believe what I had almost given up.

He picked me up and whirled me around like he did with his daughter earlier.

And I knew.

“Taron” my voice was breaking.

He set me down, his eyes sparkling with so many feelings “You make me the happiest man alive”

I laughed as tears formed in my eyes.

Taron held up the test and it clearly read _Pregnant_.

“Oh, I –“ I couldn’t finish my thoughts when he pulled me into a hug again.

My face was on his neck and I breathed him in.

He was the love of my life. And the father of my children.

As in _plural_.


	40. Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took me so long to upload this! I wanted to do the story justice and include everything I had on my mind.  
> I hope this chapter is what you have been waiting for.
> 
> Please let me know what you think of it.

The last few days we had spent in Aber had been exciting. Lou enjoyed the beach, specifically building sand castles with her daddy. I loved to watch the two of them and join in to help. It had me wondering whether we should move here permanently. I knew Taron’s heart was here anyway.

I sat on the window sill in our flat that evening, looking outside to see the stars shining. I ran my hand over my belly. I didn’t show yet, but I knew he or she was there.

Our baby.

I grinned like a fool.

“Hello baby” I whispered to my belly. “I’m so happy you’re here”

I heard footsteps and looked up to find Taron leaning in the doorway, smiling. He had just put Lou down. She could sleep through a tornado at the moment.

I smiled back at him “How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough” he grinned and walked towards me, focusing on the hands on my belly.

“How are you?” he asked and sat down next to me.

I lay my head on his shoulder and sighed when I felt him wrap an arm around my waist.

“I’m happy”

“I am too” he whispered and lay one hand on my belly “I’m so happy we know where we stand this time”

I smiled “We were already in love last time”

“I know” Taron rolled his eyes playfully “But we –“ he paused “We both didn’t know at the time”

“That’s true” I agreed, shivering at the memory.

I had fallen so hard for him during my first pregnancy without even realising. We had both been blind. At times like now, it seemed like ages ago. I still remembered how unsure I had felt about myself and the baby. How vulnerable I had been. But Taron had always made me feel safe and loved.

And now we were here.

Taron held me for a while until we moved over to the bed because it was so much more comfortable. And I was craving his touch just like when I had carried Lou. I loved every second of it, as did Taron.

“There is something I wanted to tell you” he said after a while.

“What is it?” I mumbled, running my hand over his chest.

I heard him let out a shaky breath. We usually talked about whatever was on our minds so why was he hesitating?

I sat up slightly “What is it, Taron?”

“I don’t know how to tell you this” he said quietly.

“Just tell me” I encouraged him.

His green eyes met mine and I reached for his cheek, caressing it with my thumb.

“You’re distracting me” he chuckled, his smile so sincere.

I laughed and wanted to pull my hand away but Taron stopped me “No, please”

He leant in closer and pressed a quick kiss to my lips. To feel his lips against mine and his hand on my lower back had my heart racing. I let my fingers wander through his hair and deepened the kiss, but he pulled away.

I frowned as I opened my eyes but Taron’s expression told me all I needed to know. We would continue this later as soon as he had gotten off his chest what he wanted to tell me.

“If it’s a boy –“ he said slowly “I think we should name him Oliver”

I met his eyes and he reached for me, cupping my cheek. I stared into his eyes and the full meaning of his words sank in. My lips parted and I tried to breathe, but I felt like the oxygen didn’t reach my lungs.

I felt tears form in my eyes and my voice was rough when I spoke “You want to name him after my brother?”

I hadn’t even thought about this yet. But it meant the world to me. There wasn’t one day when I didn’t miss my brother.

“I want to” Taron confirmed “If you want that”

I smiled while a tear ran down my cheek. Taron stroked it away before it could reach my jaw.

“We can honour his memory that way” he went on.

I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him closer to me to bury my face in his neck.

“I love you so much” I whispered and I felt stroke my hair.

“Is that a yes?” he asked slowly.

I pulled away so I could look into his eyes “That’s a yes. If it’s a boy, that is”

“I’m sure it’s a boy” Taron winked.

“Oh, do you now?” I laughed.

I loved how he could cheer me up from one second to the next.

“I can’t wait for my check-up” I said excitedly “To see him or her”

“Me too, babe” Taron ran his hand over my belly and my heart jumped out of my chest.

I didn’t know how it was possible to feel everything heightened during pregnancy, but his touch was even more intense than before.

“You know -” I smirked “There is one thing we didn’t do during my last pregnancy”

“Oh really?” Taron raised his eyebrows in worry and confusion.

I laughed and leant in closer to him. He pulled me closer to him and I whispered into his ear

“We never had sex while I was pregnant with Lou”

I blushed speaking those words. But there was no hesitation between us. Just as the words had left my mouth, Taron smashed his lips to mine.

And I craved him. A lot.

I opened my mouth for him and we both groaned. Our kisses turned more and more passionate and needy. He rolled me to my back, slowly and carefully as if he didn’t want to hurt me.

“Taron, please” I arched my back to get him closer.

He groaned in response.

We undressed each other as if we were in a rush, because we were.

I moaned when he pushed inside of me, one inch at a time. We both let out a breath once he was all the way inside. He would send me over the edge with the simplest movement. I couldn’t wait for it, yet I wanted us to stay this way forever.

He started to move slowly and my body was in overdrive.

I gasped when he added his thumb to my clit “I’m so –“

“I know” he breathed out “You’re so responsive”

He continued to stroke me and I already bucked under him. Then he retreated and pushed back in and I was right there. My head rolled back when I could feel my orgasm racing towards me.

“I love knocking you up” Taron groaned when he felt my walls clenching around him.

And the way his voice was rough and broke sent me over the edge. I shuddered under him and he grinded inside of me until he came.

A few days later we were back in London and I was so nervous, yet happy, to finally see our baby during the ultrasound. This time, there was no confusion about who the parents were and Taron held my hand.

“Let’s get started then, shall we?” the doctor asked.

I didn’t even know why I was nervous. I had been so used of the gel on my belly and the ultrasound moving over it the last time. I anxiously waited to hear the heartbeat and I wanted to look at the screen and in Taron’s eyes all at the same time.

When we did hear the heartbeat, we both had tears in our eyes. Again.

That would never change.

“Do you want to know if it’s a boy or a girl?” the doctor asked, watching us.

I glanced at Taron and he smiled at me. He would let me choose again.

“Oh” that word coming out of my doctor’s mouth had my heartbeat pick up the pace.

“Is something wrong?” Taron asked, just as worried.

But the doctor smiled “Everything is great. Better than great actually”

He moved the ultrasound device a bit and pointed at the monitor “You’re having twins”

My breath caught in my throat as I simply just stared at the screen. The room was quiet for a moment and I tried to make out the two babies on the screen.

I felt Taron squeeze my hand and I looked into his beautiful eyes that were more emotional than before.

“Twins?” he breathed out.

I started smiling when the reality of those words sank in. I had been a twin and even though I wasn’t one anymore because my brother had died, I would still have twins.

Taron and I smiled at each other while the doctor talked. But we barely listened.

Because we were so happy.

Later that day, I was in Lou’s bedroom after she had fallen asleep. I sat in one of the chairs by the window and ran my hands over my belly. I didn’t expect one but two babies and I was slightly terrified.

“Tell me what’s going through your mind” Taron said quietly when we sat down on the couch.

I leaned against his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around me.

I sighed “I don’t know. I’m scared and happy at the same time”

Taron’s eyes met mine and his eyes sparkled “I am too. Don’t you think that’s normal?”

I shrugged “How are we supposed to handle all this? One child plus twins?”

Taron smiled, running his fingers around my hip to my belly “We will figure it out. Just like we did the first time”

I returned his smile and dropped a quick kiss to his lips. But instead of pulling away, he pulled me closer to him. I straddled him while our kisses deepened and I could feel myself growing more and more needy for him.

“You know –“ Taron whispered once we had pulled away, our lips merely touching “It’s good we got two cots after all”

I frowned for a second before I realised what he meant. I had totally forgotten we had gotten two cots for Lou. Before we had decided to move in together.

“Oh my God” I threw my hand to my mouth “You’re right”

Taron smirked “Everything happens for a reason anyway”

“Look at you” I teased him “Mr. I don’t believe in fate”

“You changed my mind, Mrs. Egerton” he cupped my chin.

My smile widened.

“Did I now, Mr. Egerton?”

“You did” he grinned back at me.

My lips met his again and soon enough, he picked me up and carried me to our bedroom.

**A few months later**

Taron’s eyes were full of tears, as were mine. He was holding one baby, while I was holding the other. The pain after having had the c-section was awful, and I could barely move. But looking at our beautiful babies was worth every moment of pain.

“They’re gorgeous” Taron whispered, sitting in the chair next to my bed.

“They are” I smiled at him “They got your genes”

He laughed “You said that before. But the amazing thing is that they have _our_ genes. They’re not just my babies. They’re our babies.”

I watched him in awe and wished I could have just kissed him right then. Somehow, he always knew the right thing to say. The pregnancy had been difficult carrying twins. But we could get through anything together.

Because we were stronger together.

“So, this is Oliver” Taron whispered, running his hand over the tiny body of our baby.

I smiled as I watched him, full of awe.

“And…” I continued, reaching for the baby in his arms “This is Charlotte”

Back at home, we had our hands full. Quite literally full of diapers and milk bottles. I pumped as much as I could and I was drained. Having fed Lou in comparison seemed like a cake walk now. But our friends and family supported us.

We decided to move to Aber pretty quickly and Taron’s family was the best. Especially his mom supported us whenever she could, even if we were calling her in the middle of the night.

Lou was stoked to be a big sister. She was great, as we both knew she would be. I was feeding Charlotte while Taron was sitting in the lounge chair beside me, feeding Oliver. We put them down and I loved to watch them reach for each other. Their tiny hands reached each other’s bodies and all was well.

My heart was so full thinking back to my brother.

“Babe” Taron whispered as I watched our twins together.

I reached for him and wrapped my arms around him. He hugged me right back and I sighed against him. Nobody could make me feel as safe and loved as he could. And that would never change.

“I love you” he whispered into my hair and I closed my eyes.

“And I love you” I whispered back.

We broke our embrace only so our lips could meet. We kissed, softly and slowly.

**Taron – 13 years later**

I took off my earphones and put them down on the desk. I switched off my laptop and let out a breath. Today’s work day was over.

I was working from home now. I was a narrator for audio book and was quite successful at that. I had loved narrating before and it was a great way to do my job and be close to my family.

I opened my office door and walked downstairs into the living room.

“Oliver! Charlotte!”

Lou was standing there, glancing at her watch and tapping her foot. Her eyes met mine before I pulled her into a hug.

“Hey dad” she smiled.

She looked more and more like her mom these days, and I loved it. But she wore a dress that was a bit too short for my liking and I glanced at Milly.

She just smiled at me and mouthed “Talk later”

“We’re coming” Charlotte called.

Charlotte was in a skirt and top while Oliver was wearing shorts and a tee. Time seemed to fly, they had grown so much. And as similar as they had been as babies, they couldn’t be more different now.

“Better hurry!” Lou insisted when they put on their shoes “I don’t want to be late”

“Don’t be a pain in the ass” Oliver rolled his eyes.

“Oliver!” Milly called.

“Bye mom” Lou waved over to Milly and me “See you later”

“Be home by 9” I said, my voice hard.

Lou was already out the door and Oliver followed her. I dropped a quick kiss to Charlotte’s temple before she flew out the door too. I closed the door behind them and found Milly in the kitchen, cooking.

I smiled as I walked up to her and wrapped my arms around her from behind. She turned her head and smiled at me.

“Hey” she whispered.

“Hi” I whispered back “So, do you want to tell me what’s going on?”

Her smile widened “You mean why Lou acts like that?”

I nodded. Lou was 16 now, and I wasn’t surprised she was acting like she was. But she had been in a particularly weird mood today.

“She talks a lot about her friend Andy” she shot me a knowing look.

“Andy?” I raised my eyebrows.

I wasn’t ready for my little girl to be a woman just yet.

“Yeah” Milly said, calmly “They all wanted to meet friends at the beach. I’m guessing Andy will be there too”

I had to chuckle. It reminded me of my teenage years in Aber. And I had loved growing up there and was happy we could give our children the same experience. Of course I still had a place in London for press purposes, but we rarely stayed there, except for holidays in the city. Aber was my home. And it always would be.

“They all grow up quicker than I’d want them to” I said “I mean look at Lou. She looks so much like you”

Milly pressed her lips together “I know. It seems like yesterday that she was born”

I smiled, loving the memory of that day. And another memory “Looking at her reminds me of when we first met”

I remembered everything clearly now. And even though it hadn’t been the best day of my life, I would never change it. I still thought she saved my life, even though she still disagreed.

She turned in my embrace and I pulled her closer to me.

“How could I ever forget?” I smiled.

She dropped a quick kiss to my lips before focusing on the bowl in front of her again.

I went to stand next to her “What are you cooking?”

She laughed “I’m not cooking. I’m baking”

“Mhhh” I hummed “What are you baking then?”

She shot me a look that said it all “Blueberry muffins”

“I’ll get the coffee” I winked.

We took the freshly baked muffins and our coffee cups to our bedroom. Since the kids were away until later, we had some time to ourselves. And I loved it.

“Happy anniversary” our mugs clunked.

“Happy anniversary, babe” I whispered and we both took a sip before we set our mugs down.

I pulled her to me and our mouths were mere inches apart. I saw the look in Milly’s eyes, but every year, I said exactly the same, trying to convince her.

“I wouldn’t change anything about the day we met”

She grimaced “Are you sure? That was a pretty awful accident”

I shrugged “But it was the first time we met. If you think about it, things could have gone so differently when you were accidentally inseminated”

“Differently?” she asked.

“You chose to keep the baby because you remembered me. We wouldn’t have _this_ if we hadn’t met years before that when you saved me”

I trailed my fingers over her cheek, then trailed lower, down her neck and over her tee.

“This?” she giggled.

We both knew we weren’t referring to just us. We were talking about everything we had. The love we felt for each other, that would get us through whatever life threw at us. Our children we loved so much, even if it was stressful at times.

“I wouldn’t want to change it either” she finally said.

After all these years.

“Yeah?” I asked, raising my eyebrows, teasing her.

“Yeah” she nodded, suppressing a smile.

“Finally” I breathed out, our lips meeting.

Our kisses were soft and tender and I loved to remember our story. She had saved me. And I had saved her, with our baby, without even realising at the time. I still loved her like I had the first day. She had been the angle in my dreams, saving me from my nightmares.

And today, she was my dream. Every day, and every night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think of this story!


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